If you’re like me, than the news that Bethenny is returning to Real Housewives Of New York sent you scrambling to watch old episodes. You know, so you could remember a time when you actually liked Bethenny before she started sabotaging her marriage and faking story lines on her spinoff Bethenny Never After!
After 3 seasons away from RHONY, in which Bethenny divorced, underwent an acrimonious custody battle, TMI’d her every waking moment in tabloids, and attempted to spin herself into a talkshow mogul’s whose only guests were Bravolebrities before being canceled. Now Bethenny, undergoing withdrawal from lack of attention, decided to come back to RHONY to “save the show.”
I don’t know if if will work in the long run but Bethenny promises the show feels fresh and new, and at least for a few episodes we’ll all tune in to see what she’s up to. Oh, but it already looks like Bethenny is having issues – she’s pretty been absent from filming because ex-husband Jason Hoppy is blocking Bryn from appearing (as per their custody agreement). We’ll see how much of a storyline Bethenny actually gives us besides spilling about why she divorced in an effort to renovate her image and swilling products from the endless well of Skinnygirl.
Remember how last season on Vanderpump Rules everyone busted Kristen Doute‘s thongbutt for cheating on Tom 1? Well this season she’s accusing him of cheating on new girlfriend Ariana Madix. I dunno kids – it seems kinda transparent to me, like Kristen just wants Tom 1 all to herself and back in her thong-th-thong-thong-thong! (In case you’re wondering why I keep bringing up thongs, it’s cause Bravo gave us a lovely shot of Kristen’s thong butt).
This season everyone on VPR has undergone metamorphosis after the insane betrayals and they’ve grown. Except for Kristen. She’s stayed the same. Well, maybe she’s grown more crazy – we’ll wait on assessing that.
Kristen is supposedly madly in love with 22-year-old Baby Einstein (Slowstein? He ain’t sharp) DJ James Kennedy, who is trying awfully hard to get some attention on this here TeeVee thingy. First he tried to be besties with Tom 1, but when that didn’t get his pale, pastiness on camera, he decided screwing the desperate and maligned Kristen would have to suffice. Other than famewhoring, James enjoys BeamerSelfies. We’ll get to that later. So anyway, everyone has learned. Everyone has grown.
TLC canceled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo when the scandal broke that Mama June got back together with Mark McDaniel, the man who molested her daughter Anna Cardwell. The network had nearly completed filming for the fourth season when they decided to pull the plug and not air the footage – and they blame Mama June entirely! As a result Mama June will lose most of her salary for the unaired season – but her three daughters will be paid-in-full!
TLC has made the decision to put paycheck money in trust for Pumpkin, Chubs, and Alana Thompson, while seriously reducing June’s earnings under the stipulation that she violated the networks “morality” clause when she entered into a relationship with a child molester. The network is confident they have the legal grounds to do this, says TMZ.
Sugar Bear and Uncle Poodle, Alana’s uncle, will also receive their full salaries because they are not responsible for any behaviors that would have put the show at risk of cancellation.
This season there is slapping, wine throwing, adultery accusations, a marriage in peril, Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson, family feuding, jealousy, secrets and lies revealed, and dangerous liaisons – you know allllll the makings of a good soap opera! Oh lord it’s like Dynasty in its heyday! Be still my ever-soap-opera-loving-heart! With that being said I am beyond excited!
Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
We’ve been hearing for months that the drama is off the chain and that no one is getting along with anyone except for beatific Lisa who floats ethereally above the drama amid the smell of roses and the flavor of the finest champagne from a mythical region in France only accessed by unicorns. And it’s clear that this season she’s back in her rightful place as star of the show!
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New Jersey season 6 reunion kicks off. Teresa Giudice is wearing her finest solid gold Christmas pageant couture to harken back to happier times of reunions when she was just feuding with friends and family instead of heading off to prison! At least Teresa is going out with a bang in designer Christmas Pageant couture, that is!
Tonight Dina Manzo will open up about her family drama and Teresa will storm off set in a huff. Which is all fun and everything, but I just want to know who is wearing what and if it came from Posche.