I still don’t know what the hell happened on Real Housewives Of New York! One minute Bethenny Frankel was crying, the next she was hugging, the next she was building flimsy walls, the next she was eviscerating, the next she was arguing, the next she was conducting a high-powered business summit, the next she was running away, then she was apologizing. Dare I say – with all her emotional turmoil – she was acting like Kelly from Scary Island. I feel like everyone needs an instruction manual for how to operate Bethenny.
Back in the Berkshires at Dorinda Medley‘s birthday dinner, Bethenny is having a sobbing meltdown because Heather Thomson tried to smother her with a meatball like some sort of depraved Upper East Side momogul version of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. Get the memo, Heather: Bethenny doesn’t eat! Bethenny is allergic to fish – and, also Xanax!
Then Bethenny is running around to Heather’s side of the table, eyes shining with tears (or maybe it was Skinnygirl Sparklers; who knows) hugging Heather and apologizing for the walls she’s has because everyone is trying to put her in a Skinnygirl box. “I’m over myself!” Bethenny snaps. “I just don’t want attention!” Except for the times I’ve talked to the media and put myself on reality shows!
Last week Dorinda took the group to her Berkshires home, where it was anything but peaceful and relaxing. With all the non-stop drama, Dorinda nearly lost it. Good thing she had copious amounts of champagne!
“Of course, I knew what I might be getting myself into by inviting the girls over for a birthday dinner. This weekend was going to be a juggling act: relaxation meets possible obliteration,” Dorinda admits. “I mean, after my first birthday dinner at Petrossian, where I had a front-row seat to my own crucifixion, I was almost relieved to know my next potential slow death would happen on my own turf.”
Meghan, who is married to former MLB player Jim Edmonds, revealed they joined the show to tell their “really unique story” – of being the much-younger third wife of a former pro-athlete in a midlife crisis? of being the “hashtag cool stepmom!”
“I don’t know a lot of people who are young stepmoms. It could feel really isolating,” Meghan shares. “I want others to see that this happens and it doesn’t have to be a secret. And not only that, we have a lot of things happening in our lives.” Whoa – deep.
First Bruce Jenner got sued, now Caitlyn Jenner is being sued as well. The reality star has been hit with another lawsuit related to the fatal car accident she was involved in on the Pacific Coast Highway back in February.
Vicki Gunvalson is WOOHOOING to her hooha’s content and rolling in the affirmations! Brooks Ayers and his (apparently suspect?) cancer have moved in and Vicki is relishing in the fact that she can play the nagging, over-bearing, mother hen who also holds the bank account and the car insurance. “Brooks eat that carrot or you’re gonna get spanked!” Of course, Brooks is acting the part of the rebellious teen sneaking light ranch dressing and whining that he can’t have Wonderbread with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter like all the other boys.
“Cancer loves white bread!” Vicki lectures, making a little note to up Brooks’ insurance policy and give a rousing speech at the next insurance convention about the benefits of long-term care policies. Now she knows from experiences. WOO HOO! Vicki is having her affirmations for breakfast and selling them too.
Teresa relinquished her 2005 Maserati (why she still had that when she was $13 million in debt is a complete mystery!) along with a portion of her RHONJ paychecks to satisfy her restitution debts to the feds.
On Friday, federal prosecutors obtained the rights to seize the Giudice’s property or cash in order to satisfy their outstanding restitution debts. Teresa owes the federal government $414,588 as part of her sentence for mortgage and bankruptcy fraud.
Jenelle admitted she and Nathan have no formal custody agreement in place for Kaiser, who turns 1 next month, and are struggling to jointly care for him. Now the Teen Mom 2 stars are, yet again, pretending trying to clean up their acts and do the right thing. We’ll see how long this lasts!