Seriously what was happening last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Did the producers slip some hallucinogens in Yolanda Foster's virgin vodka soda with a twist of lemon? Or maybe she was just experiencing a "Lyme brain" flare-up?
We're all at the Centennial party for the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce's most embarrassing day. Kyle Richardswas MOTOBOATING people. I mean, really…? I am quite sure the acting president was forced to resign after this party!
Also, this was the worst collection of finale dresses I've seen in seasons and seasons. Did Kyle"Motoboating" Richards look in a mirror because that was the most unflattering slumpy thing I've ever seen her wear! And Joyce Giraud needs to teach this Splits to pageant walk.
In round 3 zillion between the former friends and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars, Lisa continues to speak-out on Brandi's trouble with the truth and Brandi continues to complain that Lisa forced her to interact with Scheana Marie and lied about it. Brandi is so annoyed she wants people to remember this is just a TV show, not her life, like she's been telling us for like years. I guess I'm confused…
First up, Lisa speaks to OK! Magazine about her co-stars and the pesky tabloid rumors Brandi accused her of! “It had nothing to do with me, this whole scenario is something Brandi created,” Lisa maintains.“It is just like every other false comment Brandi has made about me. Such as, I filed for bankruptcy, I live in the Valley, and that I got Cedric Martinez deported. Just because Brandi says it, doesn’t make it true — and with her, it’s usually the opposite.”
Look I'm just gonna say it straight out: I don't believe this anymore than I believe Kim Kardashian's butt (or her relationship to Kanye West) is real!
Last week Kimplayed the role of paid escort to billionaire Richard Lugner at the Vienna Opera Ball. After taking his money, she proceeded to complain about him all over the media. Now Kim is claiming her trip to Vienna was even worse than we imagined!
“Some woman started screaming obscenities at me for being in a mixed-race relationship…and went on for about five hours,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star whined to Piers Morgan. “They called the police when we landed, and she was taken away. But it was so disgusting.”
By that I mean, is she an evil genius or straight-up crazy? Kenya has orchestrated shade so elaborate it's like a 7-layer taco dip with extra cheese. It's deep and flavorful and frankly scary in its articulate complexity (Kenya IS Top Chef!). And there is no nacho chip to be left unturned.
Kenya has so many targets it's difficult to know if there's a safe-zone, but good lord is it crafty and thrilling to watch. If she is working at this alone, then I bow down to her as the true maestro of all Housewives. And if she's just full-scale nutty then NeNeLeakes better contact the authorities!
"Thank you all for your love & support of my family & my kids," Teresa wrote. "You know how much they mean to me. I am keeping them protected & private. xx" Except on Twitter where Teresa has been blowing up her feed with photos of the family!
Liz and Taylor are shocked. "That's part of my repertoire," announces Taylor. Lovely. "I'm an expert," says Liz who decimated Jon in an earlier episode for "beating off". Hypocrite much?
The next day Liz and Jon have a little gift for Kelsey – it's her very first vibrator! Surprisingly it did not come fromFarrah Abraham's line of sex toys. She wasn't passing out goody bags?! Oh but wait – she was forced to make those vaj-molds and videotape herself doing it! Cause we all want a keek of Farrah's crotchal region covered in plaster! I don't know what's a grosser vibrator association: Jon or Farrah.
Moving on, Taylor is struggling with parenting. "I don't parent," she slurs at the camera before course correcting to explain she doesn't set boundaries. #FreudianSlip Kennedy comes to the house the next day for some quality time with this woman who people say is her mom. Taylor greets Kennedy with villainous laugh that lasts about 5 minutes. In return, Kennedy shoots Taylor dirty looks that could melt a lip-plant.
Kyle has claimed she desperately wants her friendship with Lisa back on track and then turns around and does everything to the contrary – even going so far as to blatantly accuse Lisa of lying several times!
In her blog, Kyle again questions Lisa's loyalty, behaviors, and also her friendship with Brandi Glanville. "It's a shame our vacation in beautiful Puerto Rico started off like this. I was hoping to be able to speak privately with Lisa — without the others around the next day. I had a lot of unanswered questions and really wanted to talk things through and hopefully enjoy our vacation together," Kyle begins.
Unfortunately after being mauled by a bunch of botox-starved sharks, Lisa ditched her Real Housewives of Beverly Hillsco-stars and headed to the nearest 5-star resort to recuperate.