After praying to God, Teresa Giudice put on her best purple fur coat, forced husband Joe to color-coordinate in a show of solidarity and admitted that you know, maaaaaaaybe, ok posssssssilby, well actually definitely she bought too many sequined bikinis with money illegally obtained. But it’s like Oops – lots of people do this – lots of people commit mortgage fraud so they can have big fancy re-done house showy-offy parties for houses they can’t afford, so why is this happening to her?! WHY?! Why is the government making Gia cry by demanding her parents go to court and possibly jail. Like UGH. But Teresa being Teresa, she just buries her head in a vat of sequins and covers her eyes with her hairline, and drinks another glass of Fabellini.
With all of that said and done, Melissa Gorga and Dina Manzo feel sorry for Teresa that she’s under so much stress so they decide to plan a vacation to Florida. Like hey, you broke the law – let’s celebrate!
Teresa and Joe ended up pleading to 4 and 5 counts respectively with Teresa possibly serving up to 27 months in prison. Their sentencing was just delayed again until October 2nd. This is really going to mess up Bravo’s filming plans isn’t it? They’re hoping to capture Teresa and Joe’s sentencing for the season finale, of course.
This weekend Alexis Bellino renewed her vows to Jim Bellino in an over-the-top wedding that wasn’t a wedding on David Tutera‘s CELEBrations. And I can see why all of Alexis’ Real Housewives of Orange County castmates couldn’t stand her because Alexis needs sedatives – or some sort of psychiatric drugs. She constantly throws tantrums and is mega attention seeking!
Alexis wants David at her beck and call and treats him like ‘the help’. Two queens don’t make a right! To add to the drama, David is also in the middle of planning his daughter Cielo’s first birthday party and is strapped for time.
Jim surprised Alexis with the concept of a ten-year anniversary renewal by hiring poor to David show up at their house unannounced while Alexis was ‘reading’ the Bible (translation: looking at a children’s picture book version of a Bible while wearing knock-off Chanel). Jim’s surprise gift is that he wants the party to be in a week and he wants something classy and elegant – the irony of classy and elegant being used to describe anything related to Alexis does not escape me. Or David, who smirks at the correlation.
Once a reality TV famewhore, always a reality TV famewhore, right?! To celebrate their ten-year anniversary, Alexis Bellino just renewed her vows to chimplant Jim Bellino in an over-the-top ceremony for WeTV’s ‘Celebrations‘ starring celebrity wedding planner David Tutera. Since being fired from Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis has been relatively quiet, but apparently she’s been trying to nab the former glory again.
According to reports Apollo is hurrying to finish a tell-all memoir before he begins serving his 8-year sentence. Apparently Apollo has to get the book done before heading to prison due to the law and he has hired multiple ghost writers to complete the project.
Joan Rivers, take-no-prisoners commentator on life, and a true icon passed away yesterday.
I’ve always loved Joan. I heard an NPR interview with her years ago where she described using humor and wit to pull herself up by her bootstraps after her husband’s suicide left her financially decimated and alone. It not only inspired me, it filled me with awe and had me bawling in the car. Joan never shied away from the truth – whether it was about herself or others. And it was that bravery that made her so beloved.
It’s women like Joan who have allowed me to do what I do today: have a job where I snark full-time to make people laugh, because she was one of the few who forged that path by demonstrating that women are irreverent, sarcastic, and that complaining can be therapeutic as well as entertaining. The Oscars will be sadder this year without Joan to question what celebs are wearing and what they were thinking when they put it on. I will miss her greatly.
Andy Cohen, a close friend of Joan’s who has worked with her for years, reminisced about the amazing woman he knew and shared that when she passed they were in the middle of pitching a reality show they developed together this summer.
Tameka Raymond, formerly married to Usher, is one of the driving forces behind new hit show Atlanta Exes. Already making a name for herself on the show as a drama starter with a ‘don’t care who I piss off’ attitude, Tameka’s ultra-famous ex is now speaking out about his former wife participating in a reality show which could very possibly put him and their former marriage in the hot seat!
There’s been rumors that Usher was extremely unhappy about Tameka potentially airing dirty laundry by appearing on the show, and he was allegedly worried that her inclusion in the reality TV world could damage his reputation.
Usher denies all this! “No, no. I have no feelings about it whatsoever,” Usher insists. “Actually, I haven’t even seen it.” Ushers two children with Tameka will not be part of the show.