All the talk of Teresa Giudice getting a spinoff seems to be unnecessary as the entire plot of Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around her. For once I don’t believe Teresa is delusional – I mean, everybody is always talking about her, amirite?
Teresa‘s latest Bravo blog addresses former friend turned stalker/nemesis Caroline Manzo‘s crazy comments about Teresa’s marriage and the passive aggressive comments she believes Kathy Wakile made about her cookbook. Hang on, you’re in for a loooong RHONJ post!
“You’d think by now I’d be used to everyone on the show talking about me non-stop every single episode, but I’ll admit I was shocked by Caroline’s comment about my marriage,” Teresa begins.
“Not because I don’t expect her to say nasty things about me and to constantly judge of me — that’s what she does. To quote Audriana‘s favorite movie right now, The Little Mermaid: ‘It’s what she lives for.’ (Caroline does remind me of Ursula, come to think of it…) What shocked me is her hypocrisy.”
Despite allegedly being fired from American Idol, Forbes has named Jennifer Lopez number one on their Celebrity 100 list. Why? Her amazing career resurrection! Oh, and the massive millions she’s pulled in as of late. Dating teenagers does wonders for one’s earning ability, I suppose.
Apparently basing their list not on talent, but on monetary success, social media prowess, and media visibility; Jennifer outranks even Oprah and Beiber this year. The former J.Lo earned $52 Million dollars in the last year alone. Holy hot pants that’s a lot of moolah!
Crediting Jennifer‘s amazing reincarnation from aging nobody married to Marc Anthony and a flailing attempt at the latin market, Jennifer’s star started rising again the moment she stepped onto the Idol judging panel.
Things begin with Ramona hosting a post-London debriefing. She expects everyone will arrive and complain about the horror that is Heather Thomson. Pinot is pleasantly surprised to learn that instead everyone now hates LuAnn. Particularly Carole who is bristly over the fact that LuAnn tried to compare their books. No one even bought that horrible book Ramona reminds them.
Sonja Morgan is still bent out of shape that LuAnn is tall and enters the room first. Really? Is Height Gate going to become a thing?
Aviva Drescher arrives and shares that Ramona – and now Sonja are invited to Miami. And in a fun bravo manufactured coincidence Carole will also be there because some designer friend of her’s has an event or something. As a fun treat, Aviva reveals she has a geriatric gentleman just perfect for Sonja and as an added benefit he’s a viagra sex addict! ‘Oh, whooo is this charming man,’ Sonja purrs. ‘My father!’ Aviva announces. Oh that’s delightfully UN-awkward.
Former Real Housewives of New York stars Alex McCord andSimon van Kempen have been desperate to get back into the reality TV spotlight ever since getting fired. Silex, the couple that never, ever went anywhere apart have perhaps started drifting apart and the two have recently signed on to VH1′s Couples Therapy.
Couples Therapy has handled relationship dramas for desperate famewhores of all walks of reality TV, from Kasey Kahl and Vienna Girardi to Linda Hogan and that teenager who recently dumped her. I like to think of it as the home to ghosts of reality shows past! Well now Silex has joined the cast.
The Huffington Post reports, “For a couple of days last week, they were being trailed by a film crew, both in Manhattan and Brooklyn.”
Sometimes on reality TV the drama is far better off camera than on. Which is exactly the case on Real Housewives of Orange County! Really, why bother with all the editing when these people create straight up chaos without it.
In the latest, Jim Bellino has been campaigning against the show all season long and following an explosive reunion, King Jimbo is making no secret of wanting Alexis Bellino to hand in her two weeks notice.
Here’s how it all began. Following the reunion, Alexisblogged about Tamra Barney‘s “Jesus Jugs” comment and stated it insulted Christians everywhere.
“Jesus Barbie was cute, but almost crossing the line — I can take it in stride. Yet, Jesus Jugs doesn’t just cross the line, it catapults over it. That comment has offended Christians everywhere. How does she decorate her home in crosses yet make a remark like that without an ounce of guilt?”
“Then she is promoting Jesus Jugs wine glasses her Facebook page? So now it’s blasphemy along with defaming Jesus and monetizing on what He sacrificed for us.”
In response, Tamra took the mouth that gets her in trouble over to RumorFix to accuse Alexis of being a “faux Christian.”
LuAnn de Lesseps is a reality show veteran which is why it’s surprising that she would find herself wrapped up in a cheating allegation orchestrated by Pinot Singer‘s stinger.
People is reporting that on a recent cast trip to St. Barts the Real Housewives of New York star was accused of getting frisky with a Frenchmen who wasn’t longtime boyfriend Jacques Azoulay! Well if she gets pregnant, I say call Maury for a paternity test!
The accused man – a Johnny Depp lookalike – was spotted at the vacation home by google-eyed Singer, ”I saw you here [at the house]. … OK, kiss and don’t tell,” Ramona remarks in an upcoming episode.
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice - or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.