1) They do not know the definition of the word "hypocrite" (I think this is a trait that expands across all Housewives domains).
2) They don't understand "good manners" (Minding your Ps & Qs is not a Housewives forte).
3) They are baaaad actresses!
With that being said, let's dive into this nonsense and rip apart the episode. It all begins with Joanna Krupa dry humping Romain Zago in front of their braaaand neeeeew rented swimming pool!
Romain is on a mission to surprise Joanna left and right on Bravo's dime for a storyline. I mean Joanna needs to serve some purpose on this show besides looking amazing and hating Adriana de Moura, right?! First Romain surprised her with a car and now a new house he rented for them to live in as husband and wife.
Therapy by Bravo continues, y'all! This time involving a poor innocent horse in its nonsense.
Last night the intransigent Real Housewives of New Jersey gang continued their journey to togetherness in Arizona. While some people seemed to really be soaking in all the free psychological healing Bravo was throwing their way, others really dug their heels into the delusion. I'ma lookin' at you Teresa GiudiceandMelissa Gorga!
Things begin with Melissa complaining that there's too much like progress happening. She croaks out that she's much prefer to sit by the pool and hock up phlegm while drinking cocktails and rocking yet another fringe bikini. Instead they'll be heading to a horse barn for a therapeutic exercise about being vulnerable and trusting others. Melissa wonders if she can wear a fringe bikini.
Outside JacquelineLaurita is relaxing with some spiked orange juice and talking to husband Chris about Teresa's "karma" comment. Jacqueline obsesses over whether or not Teresa was making a dig. Chris doesn't seem to think she was but admits that one never knows with that tricky Teresa. And he's known Teresa since the days when Jacqueline was a lowly Vegas stripper so he's kinda like an expert on Tre's crazy, thanks to Dina.
Dina tells Oprah's network that the show turned toxic and it was no longer an environment she enjoyed. "At the very beginning of filming we had a lot of fun," Dina confesses. "Because they weren't sure what direction the show was going into — it was before the table flip happened."
Uh-oh – Kody Brown and his luscious locks are in for a challenge!
Hot on the heels of Sister Wives success, TLC is bringing us a new polygamist family in the My Five Wives. The "special" feature on polygamy will chronicle the unorthodox marriages of Brady Williams and his wives: Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie, and Rhonda along with their 24 children!
The family lives in Utah and Brady (who has disappointingly normal hair) describes his lifestyle as a "progressive polygamist" left the Mormon church behind to pursue the polygamy. Unfortunately their devotion to plural marriage has left them shunned by their community and estranged by family members, but they're fine with that! I mean when you have four sister wives isn't that more than enough family?!
In the wee hours of Friday morning Lamar was popped at 3:54 am in San Fernando Valley by the California Highway Patrol. Lamar was spotted on the 101 freeway driving in a "serpentine manner" and going too slow (only 50 MPH) when police pulled him over.
Apparently he ignored the police car's flashing sirens and drove three exits before finally pulling over. Police observed "objective signs of intoxication" and Lamar failed "numerous" field sobriety tests before being taken to the station.