Vanderpump Rules is having some sort of quarter life crisis. While Stassi Schroeder is playing the adoring sycophant, Katie Maloney is attempting to reinvent herself as season 1 and 2 Stassi. It’s a piss-poor imitation though because Katie lacks the razor-sharp edge and sheer cunning wit required to pull off Stassi-ness, not to mention Katie lacks the conviction with which Stassi conducted herself as empress of the skirtsteaks. Also Katie doesn’t own a statement necklace which is like the scrunchie of SUR.
Katie is a mere “Fetch,” trying to force herself to happen as the leader of the SUR tribe, except she’s nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing. And she needs to give Stassi back her fur.
The one thing I learned is that Vicki Gunvalson really needs to consider a career in politics because she can twist words and spin like no other. It’s rather impressive in some bizarro universe led by Andy Cohen and morality policed by Heather Dubrow.
The reunion starts with a ride back in time to Glamis. The ladies watch the ATV flip time and time again. Just so you know… Heather escaped injury because she even does car accidents perfectly and better than you.
Is the Tinz taking over Real Housewives Of New York? That oughtta get Bethenny Frankel in a tizzy! Tinsley Mortimer, the once famed NY socialite behind the failed reality show “High Society,” has seemingly lowered her standards sufficiently enough to become a Bravolebrity.
“The ‘Housewives’ have been trying to get her forever . . . I guess they finally did it,” sneered a socialite insider amid rumors that Tinsley has been filming for Real Housewives Of New York.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love and motherhood and all the complications that come with it. But first, like with all things, we must dip our toe in hate!
Phaedra Parks, Porsha Williams, and Sheree Whitfield take their camel toes to brunch to discuss Sheree’s fight with Kenya Moore. Apparently, Kenya has been conducting faulty research, which misled her to believe Sheree is a hoe. “HOE!” scoffs Sheree, “I ain’t never been associated with no hoes!” Well, except for the ones Bob was probably cheating with. Sheree is indignant that someone who “slept her way to the top of the Z-List DVD rack” has the nerve to accuse her of impropriety.
After finally completing Chateau Sheree, Sheree decided to celebrate with an over-the-top housewarming party (for her done house!), which was filmed for Real Housewives Of Atlanta as the season finale. Unfortunately it wasn’t legal for Sheree to be living in the house, let alone throwing a party there!
Collective show of hands – who is surprised Kenya Moore had drama with Sheree Whitfield? Yeah, Sheree isn’t surprised either. Kenya says Sheree started it; Sheree blames Kenya for causing it… I have a feeling this blame game is going to go on longer than the building of Chateau Sheree took!