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WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE WITH ANDY COHEN -- Episode 14131 -- Pictured: Bethenny Frankel -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

When you marry for a spinoff, you… um, well the drama never ends! That is certainly the case with Bethenny Frankel and her ex Jason Hoppy who are currently in court battling over stalking and harassment charges!

The drama began after their FOUR-YEAR divorce finally wrapped up. Bethenny reported that Jason was consistently sending her a barrage of nasty texts, FaceTime calls and emails. After Jason publicly confronted her, the Real Housewives Of New York star called the police and had him arrested for stalking and harassment. Further charges followed when he still didn’t stop.

Yesterday Jason was back in court where he decided against accepting a proposed plea deal. Remember when we thought Jason was the normal one? Now it’s more of a case two wrongs don’t make a skinnygirl right! 

Tamra Judge & Family In Aruba

Tamra Judge is escaping the drama of Real Housewives Of Orange County for a little R&R in Aruba with her hubby Eddie and her two youngest children Spencer and Sophia

Lucky Tamra is staying at the Ritz where she has been pretending to live Heather Dubrow‘s life enjoying the beach, the view, the luxury, and the mother-daughter bonding time with Sophia. Tamra also indulged in some deep-fried Oreos good to know the Ritz serves county fair food! 

Peggy Grabs Meghan's Lips

Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County newbie Peggy Sulahian demonstrated that she doesn’t have to be your mother to be your muva! If you left your manners in the car when you came to her event, Peggy will surely get out the bar of scented soap you sell in your pop-up boutique to wash your mouth out. Peggy certainly taught Meghan Edmonds that children should be seen and not heard! Exactly Meg, just stand there and look all ‘I’ve never had a baby and look at my chessboard inspired dress, cause I’m like smart! And on quest for TRUTH! Justice!”

But first there’s Tamra Judge, who got judged by a parrot that called her “old” as she walked into a restaurant to meet a baby looking like an escapee from a biker bar. How could anyone even see Aspen underneath the giant bow that ate the baby’s face!? I hope that’s not catching…

luann-de-lesseps-tom-d-agostino-happier-times-min

It was a whirlwind courtship and marriage for Luann de Lesseps and Tom D’Agostino, and now it’s a whirlwind divorce. Too bad the Real Housewives Of New York reunion filmed before Lu confirmed the split. Oh, the drama we could’ve had. Andy Cohen should request a do-over.

So many rumors, so few days of marriage! Although Luann only announced last week that her marriage was officially over, Luann and Tom seemed to be over since they began.

Danielle Staub Celebrates Birthday With Surprise Party & RHONJ Cast

Danielle Staub turned 55 this week and celebrated with family, plus a surprise birthday party thrown by her 20th fiancé Marty Caffey, which was also attended by some of her Real Housewives Of New Jersey castmates.

I’m guessing this means RHONJ is still filming as Danielle’s new BFF Teresa Giudice was there, along with new Housewife Margaret Josephs and rumored possible castmate Alisa Maria Fronzaglia, who is a friend of Teresa’s and has been filming intermittently with the ladies for a while – for years actually. We’ll see if she actually makes the cut this year! 

Vicki & Kelly on RHOC

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, Kelly Dodd underwent a Real Housewives rite of passage and rejuvenated her vagina right on TV! It is a place many a’Housewives have gone before and lived to tell about it… which I guess is a blessing, right?! Also, Vicki Gunvalson‘s devotion to proving she did not fake cancer continued with her cozying up to newbie Peggy Sulahian by promising to be the best darn girlfriend Peggy ever did have.

Shannon Beador is dressing like Carnie Wilson now, but she will not mediate Housewives disputes with cheesecakes. Instead she will go to Tamra Judge‘s house and sip water laced with Pure Calm pills. Tamra promises they create an ethereal zen, like being inside the mind of Dr. Moon as he practices transcendentalism. Despite her avid non-toxicism, the cotillion queen in Shannon admits a cocktail would work better. 

Eileen Davidson

The meteoric rise and fall of Eileen Davidson as a Housewife is a sad one. She was at once annoying and amazing. Eileen entered Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills with such promise, such poise, and such unabashed glam, but then it all fell apart when she got caught in the trap of Yolanda Foster‘s Lymeness, and a strange parenthetical argument about intent and manipulations and the bounds of friendship. Eileen was always too cerebral for this show.

Soap opera veteran Eileen joined the show in season 5 alongside her close friend Lisa Rinna. After decades on Days Of Our Lives and The Young and Restless, it seemed like no drama could defeat the Daytime Emmy winner. Then Eileen ran into Brandi Glanville‘s wine glass and Kim Richards‘ denial!

Heather Dubrow Holds Orange

Manners, decorum, propriety… oh my! After 5 seasons of educating us on how to behave and why, Heather Dubrow has entered Housewives Protection Program, changed her locks, and left Real Housewives Of Orange County

Now it’s time to give an official farewell to Bravo’s First Lady of Perfectly Chilled Champs. After years of Heather pontificating about the right way to do wrong, and the wrong way to do wrong, and the wrong way to do everything in between, it only seems appropriate to memorialize Heather The Housewife with an affirmational retrospective.