Last night on Vanderpump Rules it was the the Grownups VS. Real Grownups. The latter, a cult led by Stassi Schroeder. Immediately upon entering your fashion IQ drops at least 20 points. On the other hand, the Grownups is led by Scheana Marie Almost Famous and you basically need to be brain-dead (or Jax Taylor) to gain entry at all. But they are friendship tattoos!
Straddling the middle is Tom Schwartz. He so badly wants to be a Grownup, but Katie Maloney has him trapped in an invisible net - no one believes him when he reports himself as missing and kidnapped to the police.
Here’s what Grownups do: they have panic attacks at their bartending job and flee the scene, sobbing. Here’s what Real Grownups do: they sit in a corner hate-watching a group of people and passive-aggressively snarking on them behind-their-backs, but never actually say anything to their faces. You know, kind of what I do while I watch this show! The grownup is real, the grownup struggle is realer.
While some people are hanging out on twitter hate-tweeting, Lisa Vanderpump is hanging out at one of her three restaurants with A-listers! Jennifer Laurence swung by PUMP this weekend where she had drinks and dinner with friends and then re-enacted Vanderpump Rules to awesomeness!
Jennifer, a longtime Real Housewives fan, strolled into the restaurant and was seated at a regular table. When Lisa, who was dining there for her birthday, spotted J.Law she immediately moved Jennifer to her personal table at the center of the garden.
Jennifer and pals drank Pumptinis and LVP Sangria all night and then posted a hilarious instagram spoof of the Vanderpump Rules cast. Let’s hope the newly single Jennifer took one for the team and hit on Peter Madrigal!
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta featured a battle of the THOTS. Well, really it was more of a battle of THOT accusations coming from Porsha Williams! Porsha and Cynthia Bailey are angry at each other over the reunion; Cynthia felt Porsha’s physical aggression was out-of-line, but Porsha is annoyed that Cynthia has “flip-flopped” her opinion on the matter - sometimes saying she understood Porsha was provoked and other times saying it was completely unacceptable.
Really, Porsha and Cynthia are angry at each other because their ‘bosses’ NeNe Leakes and Kenya Moore don’t like each other so they pawns in a larger game for who will be crowned MISS RHOA! I wonder if The Bailey Agency will host the pageant… they so excel at them! More on that later, but first – Nights at The Apollo!
Everyone is still reeling from Apollo Nida‘s reveal that he “Krayonce’d” his relationship with Kenya, aka imagined she was there in LA, coming onto him in hotel rooms, and offering him fellatio. See this is Karma – Kenya was making up menz all over the world from Africa to Atlanta, and here is Apollo making up Kenyas!
Phaedra is shocked, but doesn’t feel compelled to reach out to Kenya – or apologize! Hopefully things will change, but not likely. Phaedra and Apollo’s marriage also continues to fracture as she learns more and more about his secretive ways.
Lawdy-lawd! The hills of WV are alive with the drama of Leah Messer Simms Calvert Messer and her soon-to-be-second-ex-husband-Jeremy Calvert! Leah announced that she is saying goodbye to MTV – and hinted she’s also saying goodbye to that husband of hers!
Kandi Burruss has worked hard for her money but she also makes sure to give back! Kandi and new husband Todd Tucker hosted the Kandi C.A.R.E.S Season Of Blessings food drive.
Gathering a few of her celebrity friends the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star collected turkeys, canned foods, and other holiday items to help those in need prepare a Thanksgiving meal for their families.
Hosting the fundraiser in conduction with My Fair Sweets Bakery, guests purchased items from a specially-crafted desserts menu with a portion of the proceeds going towards Kandi C.A.R.E.S. single parent programs.
Kim had a trip planned to promote her new piss water perfume Fleur Fatale and while there was scheduled to make an appearance as a hostess in Big Boss 8, which is the title of the Big Brother-esque show. Unfortunately a source reveals that visa issues have stopped the Keeping Up With The Kardsahians star from entering the country. Sounds like India’s government didn’t want any Kartrashianitis on native soil.
Last night’s Secrets Revealed Part 2 was the final-final episode of a super lackluster season of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. And really, there wasn’t much to it!
Dina Manzo hires the Astro Twins (real names), who are Toni Collete look-a-likes, to read everyone’s astrology charts and tell their futures. They whip out an iPad and some of Gia’s 8th grade geometry homework and get to work!
I learned Teresa Giudice and I are both Gemini-risings. But other than both having brown hair and a couple kids, that’s where our similarities end. And don’t even ask how I know that I’m a Gemini-rising.
Amber Marchese is afraid to do the reading because she thinks astrology is against her religion, being that she’s a “devote” Catholic and all. Rosie Pierri tells Amber, her visible bra and giant cross necklace, that it’s fine - God won’t notice and neither will the Pope!