Last night the over-grown adolescents of Vanderpump Rules made the trek to Miami for Scheana Marie‘s bachelorette party. Naturally the thing to do is to also invite your Maid of Honor’s mortal enemy, who also happens to be on the FBI watch-list for stalking – just to make sure everyone has an unforgettable time! If Kristen Doute were a superhero her power would be stealing fun. Except Kristen is not a superhero – she’s a super villain.
Packing for the trip Shay, the lumbering manhulk of sullen drudgery, finally speaks. Holding up a pair of flamboyant swim trunks, he looks down at his open suitcase, then at Scheana and mumbles, “This is really setting in right now.” Yep – one step closer to being Mr. Scheana Marie Almost Famous. Score!
The other problematic goings-on is Jax Taylor. Just that very morning Jax apparently ran head-first into a glass door, busting open his forehead. Now he looks even more like a scientific experiment where the world’s most attractive man is turned into a Frankenstein monster of evil. Peter recognizes this is not gonna be good.
Ariana Madix usually doesn’t let the nonsense of Vanderpump Rules phase her too much. As the general port of calm in the storm, she refrains from mixing herself up in the drama of insane asylum inmates populating Lisa Vanderpump‘s restaurant.
But last week’s episode? That was the episode that made Ariana snap. Apparently it had to do with birthdays, Jax Taylor‘s lies, and Stassi Schroederacting like they’re all nobodies to her elevated status of fully actualized adult human being.
Tonight Celebrity Apprentice returns after yesterday’s season premiere which left Keshia Knight Pulliam fired for not reaching out to some big-name potential donors like Bill Cosby. Hello – Donald Trump wants publicity!
Keshia explained that she simply didn’t feel comfortable exploiting the connection and was disappointed it became a focal point in her ability to successfully complete the Pie Face task.
“I know ‘The Cosby Show’ is in reruns, and everyone thinks that we’re this family that has dinner every Friday night, but the reality was I hadn’t spoken to Mr. Cosby. I felt that it would be tactless, very rude to call someone and be like, ‘Hey, so, let me have some money right now,'” Keshiatold The Today Show about her firing.
Last night reinforced an important lesson on Celebrity Apprentice, if you’re classy – reality TV is no place for you. Just a reminder: this recap, of course, contains spoilers so don’t read if you’ve been avoiding the internet like the plague for the last 24-hours.
The women’s team contains: Brandi (reality mega-villain and best selling tweeter about what she does with her twatter), Kenya Moore (Former Miss WHO-S-A, who had a Scepter App hidden her purse so not to violate the anti-props contract stipulations), Leeza Gibbons (talk show host), failed reality star Kate Gosselin (minus her 8 and the tumorous bunion known as Jon), Jamie Anderson (a former Olympic snowboarder with a long history of legal imbroglios who has the same plastic surgeon as Brandi – face. does. not. move.), Vivica A. Fox (hoping to resurrect her acting career by playing evil), Shawn Johnson (a former Olympic gold medalist who thinks social media usage qualifies as a legitimate career. Was she on DWTS?), and Keisha Knight Pulliam (formerly Rudy of The Cosby Show). The women’s team is infinitely more diabolical and interesting than the men’s team, but I suppose they came out and tried to play, so we have to talk about them.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta things were shocking, in the invisible fence way. Invisible fences are harder to climb over, as the ladies found out.
Cynthia Bailey had a dream and that dream is rapidly becoming a nightmare. Because Cynthia is going into business with Peter to open the new Bar One!
Misguidedly, Cynthia is honored that Payday Loan Peter, chose her checking account and she will no longer be a silent fibroid, but a living, breathing bank account. The delusion: it runs deep – certainly deeper than the zeros in ol’ CB’s savings account. Who does Peter think he is married to – NeNeLeakes?!
Cynthia has a dream and that dream is that people do not believe rumors about how she finances all his foolish shenanigans and he married her for a TV show, free vodka, and VIP strip club access.
Tonight is the premiere of Celebrity Apprentice, thus dubbing Sundays Krayonce Day! (Sorry Downton). Donald Trump, who already called Kenya Moore “evil”, dished that this season’s cast is vicious and will shock audiences with their bad behavior. So just to get this straight: the behavior is worse than The Donald’s hair.
Donald says of all the seasons, season 14 “is the one where they have hated each other the most.” The cast which includes, Brandi Glanville and Kenya, butted heads constantly. “It’s a level of hatred I’ve never seen.”
Last night NeNe Leakes ended her run in Broadway’s Cinderella, as the show officially closed.
NeNe did an emotional farewell bow as she wrapped her performance as Madame. “MY FINAL BOW: What a bitter sweet moment it was! I will be forever grateful for such an amazing opportunity!” the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star wrote.
In the audience to watch NeNe’s final performance was her husband Gregg, and both her sons Brentt and Bryson. “As I took my final bow, my amazing hubby, children, friends and family cheered me on as they knew the journey, the hard work, and tenacity it took for me to get here,” NeNe shared.