Stassi Schroeder is up to her same antics of systematically destroying everyone around her. ThankfullyVanderpump Rules favorite sociopath hasn't changed. Where are the proper authorities?
Last night Stassi cemented that Scheana Marie, briefly her friend, was once again her enemy. Stassi believes that Scheana is on an unrelenting quest to become her, to like BE Stassi. Which would mean Scheana also wants to be WITH Jax Taylor.
Speaking of Jax, I'd like to take an informal poll on how high we think his IQ is: 3? 8? Maybe 15 on a generous day? Despite being humiliated and constantly berated by Stassi he desperately wants her back. So desperately that he got a secret tattoo to prove his love. She maintains he isn't doing anything to earn her trust back except give her truly exceptional sex with lots of acrobatics and WWF maneuvers. #gag
Over at SUR things are still topsy-turvy. Strangely it's not decimating business so Lisa Vanderpump decides to install a new bar in the garden. With construction underway she now needs to find the perfect sexy bartender. Not Jax! Oh no – his crazy is old news slimy like fruit a couple days past the expiration date. Someone different… someone outside the incestuous cess pool. Someone like Katie Maloney's boyfriend Tom. Enter Tom 2.
As Andy Cohen exclaimed in an excited frenzy last night, "I love evidence!" So, too, do we. Which means the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami came packing with the accusations, the evidence, the wild slanderous statements, and one of the dirtiest reunion shows I've seen since Thou Show That Should Not Be Named But Has An Indicted Star And Lots Of Family Feuding. Don't want to wake the dead with that mention!
Anyway, back to the show of present. RHOM was vicious last night. Just the way we like it – crazy makeup, crazy hair, crazy girls, and tons of sequins flying out of their seats and and trying to deflect the even wilder accusations.
Everything starts out kinda OK, but then Joanna Krupa sort of slams Adriana de Moura's wedding and mentions several times that it was beautiful except for the lateness, inconvenience, lies, total disrespect for the guests, idiotic costume change, bitchy atrocious bride, and the whole no food or drink for hours thing. But the gown was gorgeous! You know all that stuff, but at least Adriana didn't look like a flamenco dancer and at least Adriana's husband wants to sleep with her so ziiing!
Last night things were starting to settle in on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Everything that is except Carlton Gebbia who really cannot f–king deal with anyone and is over everything. Oh and Brandi Glanville's face – that's not settling either. She better watch it or she'll be turning into her arch-nemesis Adrienne Maloof!
Unfortunately the show began on a sour note. Poor Yolanda Foster is bravely taking us through her health journey battling Lyme Disease, which sounds horrible. I am seriously never going into the woods again. No, No, No!
Lemanda is undergoing surgery to remove a tube that sends antibiotics straight to her bloodstream and to celebrate she's doing a master cleanse instead of having a drink. I will never understand – pass me the alcohol! Gawd, do I sound like Brandi. #EpicFail. Even Yolanda's housekeeper is master cleansing and dividing all the lemonstrocity juice into a million Fuji bottles. Lemon does know how bad that is for the environment, right?
This season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the tables are turning for Lisa Vanderpump. Meaning no one likes her. Rumor had it the isolation and ostracization became so intense Lisa was threatening to quit the show! No amount of money could get me to hang out with Splits!
Lisa heartily denies the rumor, insisting. “If I quit, you will hear the words right out of my mouth or I have been fired.”
Furthermore she doesn't even know what she would quit, even if she wanted to! "There are all these rumors but there is nothing to quit. We are not in production — they don’t even start production until next year,” Lisaexplained to E! Online.
We all know that when the Kardashians claim to be doing something for no reason, there's always a reason: famewhoring! Kim Kardashian took to twitter yesterday to announce she was just, you know, throwing a party for no reason, no reason at all!
"Slide ✔️ dance floor ✔️mechanical bull ✔️…our party for no reason is almost ready," Kimannounced. With the season 8 Keeping Up With The Kardashians finale airing last night and season 9 filming on-going there is of course a reason for the Kardshians to celebrate! Perhaps they're celebrating season 9 allegedly being their final season? One could hope…
A photo of Kim's "party for no reason" is below. Or of course you could view the celebration in action on Keek! #KeekingUpWithTheKardashians
Things begin with Miss WHO-S-A pageant waving as she leaves the courthouse after her eviction hearing. There's like 4 bored looking photographers standing around checking their watches as Kenya breezes out clutching her chest gasping, 'For meeeee?! Lil' ol' meeee?! Oh being famous… it's such a responsibility.' One of the photographers looks around and asks, 'I thought NeNe Leakes was gonna be here?' Jussst kidding, but you know Kenya called those paps herself and now she's trying to pretend she's A-list. Girl, that ship done sailed! She claims she won her eviction case.
Later she goes for drinks with NeNe to discuss their argument atCynthia Bailey's launch. Krayonce turns on those pageant tears to sniffle about how she has been displaced from her home and no one reached out like she's some sort of suburban refugee. NeNe shoots her a girl please look and reminds her that she's supposed to be a multi-millionaire producer, director, booty boosting guru, man-eating queen, so how can she be homeless? Kenya is like yeah, all that's true but I still need friends and none of you were there for me.
Kenya Moore is a special kind of reality star who will stop at nothing to twirl all over the situation and make it all about her. NOT! What I mean is just like most reality stars Kenya is attempting to carve out a storyline and some relevance. Gotta extend that 15 minutes, right?!
The new season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is bound to be dramaful, and it opened with a bang when egomaniacal delusionistasKenya and NeNe Leakes got into it. NeNe has been gloating all up and down twitter that she remained composed and kept her cool when Kenya grabbed her ear. And in rebuttal Kenya wants everyone to know she is "not afraid of the big bad wolf"!
“It’s like, look, if we’re going to be friends we have to deal with each other on an honest level,” Kenya explained to The Wrap. “This is what bothers me. I’m going to be vocal about it. My desire is that we move past it and we don’t have to deal with that issue again."
Well now the two former reality stars are not getting along! So sad. In response to Farrah's criticisms, Bethenny dismisses her as just needing attention. Takes one to know one!
"[I like to] have a conversation with someone that I think will show a different side [of them], and a different conversation, and reflect human behavior, but a lot of those people are controversial for a reason, and they like to be controversial," Bethennytold Wetpaint about her experiences dealing with Farrah.