Last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was about reinventing the old and making it new again. Make new frienemies, but keep the old… one is faux marble and the other is faux leopard!
Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita made up and by that I mean they vowed not to appear at anymore reunions wearing dresses where the sequins turned into poison darts and and scream cheating accusations at each other's husbands. So by making amends they decided to keep each other's secrets…
Oh and Jacqueline shed her old stripper skin in favor of some new skin that didn't have washed up tacky tattoos on it. When did getting plastic surgery become a requisite Housewives storyline?
Things begin with Teresa and Jacqueline continuing with their "tawk". Jacqueline is clearly flustered because she forgot her translucent powder and her blotting papers. Girl was shiny as a gold lame and her hair was all mussed. Maybe she and Teresa had some sort of knock-down, drag-out, rolling on the table brawl and the footage was accidentally damaged when some Fabellini got tossed on it and that's why we didn't see it? That would explain Jacq's shininess…
With the Gorgadice families on the mend, the Gorgas and the Giudices strive to spend quality time together by taking a bus trip. HA! Unfortunately little pitchers have big ears and even less filters!
In other news, Teresa and Jacqueline Laurita continue to struggle with their relationship as Teresa confronts Jacqueline. Teresa also hosts a charity event. And finally, some of Jacqueline's decisions raise some eyebrows with Chris!
Teresa Giudice is in a hailstorm of trouble. If she thought strippergate was something to get worked up over, she hasn't seen anything like going to trial against the federal government. No amount of body glitter can save a girl now! #OrangeIsTheNewLeopard.
While I fully intend Kim D, Teresa's eternally supportive BIFFL, to make her some Posche-appropriate prison garb and stage a Big House fashion show, Teresa is still hedging bets that she'll avoid jail time.
Right now Teresa and Joe Giudice are developing a legal strategy that seems to focus on Juicy serving jail time while the Real Housewives of New Jersey star plays the innocent, doting wife who was a victim of his schemes.
Days after Ryan Culberson was seen screaming obscenities at Lydia McLaughlin's elderly mother Judy, he's now defending his behavior and claiming Bravo edited it to make him look like the bad guy. So, no apologies from him!
“There was so much more … that led up to that incident which they fail to include to make me look like the crazy Marine,” Briana Culberson's husband told the Marine Corps Times. “It definitely was a crazy night and I cannot get over how the producers edited it.”
Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of the Kardashian's lives. There's never a dull moment in Kamp K and in the latest drama to hit the family who lives for a tabloid exploit, Kourtney Kardashian's alleged ex-lover filed a paternity suit against her claiming he's Mason's biological father!
Male-model <insert Zoolander voice here> Michael Girgenti got tired of doing the Le Tigre and decided to engage in an on-set dalliance with Kourtney instead. The two met during an August 2008 photo shoot and he claims Kourtney was all kinds of complaining about Scott Disick at the time.
In court documents hand delivered to them by Kris Jennerobtained by TMZ, Michael recalls that Kourtney said she and Scott were "on the outs" and she "wanted to hang" with Michael. They started a text relationship that turned into a sexual one in April 2009.
So in case you haven't heard, Joe Giudice was charged with like 3 zillion money fraud related indictments. Which is about how much money he also owes because of bankruptcy debts related to falsifying income. And when he's done there he owes the IRS big too. Long story short, homeboy is in biiig trouble!
Among the revelations that emerged about the Real Housewives of New Jersey star during the court proceedings was that, despite being married to Teresa Giudice for like 15 years, Joe never bothered to become a U.S. citizen. Which means he's still an Italian citizen, since he was born there. And since he's not a U.S. citizen, as a felon or a convicted offender he could be deported!
We've been wondering how likely it was that ol' Juicy could be shipped off to Italy and lucky us, we got the opportunity to speak to an immigration attorney who gave us some insight into how cases such as these generally work.
Disclaimer: This attorney does not represent Teresa or Joe and is in no way connected personally or professionally to their case or to Reality Tea. This attorney just so happens to be a RHONJ fan like the rest of us!
The ladies are currently in the middle of filming their sixth season and a Reality Tea reader spotted Mynique cruising around Savannah, GA with NeNe Leakes and other cast mates!
Mynique is happily married to former Atlanta Falcons player Chuck Smith and allegedly replaces Kim Zolciak in the baller's wife role. Mynique apparently came to the attention of the producers through Ms. Leakes, who also reportedly introduced them to Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore!
Mynique's husband told Access Atlanta he has know NeNe for "24 years growing up in Athens" and that NeNe and Mynique, a mother of three, have been friends for 12 years. She also knows She By SheBroke from her hubby's football days. Chuck was quick to point out that Mynique isn't confirmed as a castmember just yet and hasn't "officially" joined the show.
It's time for the weekly Monday and Tuesday night ratings round up!
Once againLove & Hip Hop Atlanta dominated Monday night! 4.192 million people tuned in, which means once again the show's ratings are rising. Next week features more reunion and with news that Stevie J and Joseline are indeed going through with this whole wedding thing, I'm thinking this smells… spinoff!
Real Housewives of Orange County had its season finale this week. Featuring mama drama and Slade problems amid a wonderland of faux-snow, the ladies went out with a bang pulling in 2.386 million viewers – a big jump from last week. Next week is the reunion and the previews look, well, they look dreadfully brutal.