In her first blog of the new season she discusses reuninting her family and trying to work things out with Melissa Gorga. Perhaps the first step should be duct taping Juicy's mouth shut!
Chapter 1: On Why She Stopped Speaking To Poison & Melissa
After last season (which was not fun) and the horrible reunion, we all took a big break from each other. We didn't see each other for over a year. Not seeing my brother and his family was heartbreaking, but after what Joey and Melissa said at the reunion — that they were moving and didn't want to have anything to do with me or my kids — what could I do?
I had to respect their wishes and give them space. It broke my heart, but it was what they wanted. I just concentrated on my own family, on my girls, and prayed that they would find their way back to our family.
Once upon a time there was a woman named Krayonce. She lived in a lovely home in Atlanta which she announced on national television that she owned. Of course, like most things Delusional Kenya, that turned out to be fib!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star's landlord released a check proving that lady is a renter – and no shame in that, especially considering she relocated to Atlanta not for the love of one Walter Jackson as she claimed, but for reality television to resuscitate a dying career.
Unfortunately it seems that Kenya wasn't able to keep up with the rent payments, because her landlord told us EXCLUSIVELY that she is evicting Kenya for non-payment! Looks like ol' Kenya is about to be Gone With The Wind Homeless!
"She has been a horrible tenant with delinquencies that forced an eviction filing to get her to pay up," her landlord, Conya, shared with us!
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we were treated to a delightfully classy over-the-hill bachelorette party for one in particular mid-life crisis bride's third wedding.
If that weren't enough Lauri Peterson demonstrated her desperation for relevance by sharing so-called salacious details about Vicki Gunvalson's sex life. I barely made it through last night's episode without throwing up. Thanks for that Bravo.
Things begin with newbie Lydia McLaughlin, in all her wide-eyed optimism, showing up at Tamra Barney's house for some girl talk. Walking into the evil sorceress' cave, Lydia holds her magic fairy dust shield close to her heart and remembers to think positive.
Lydia is just like so impressed and keeps talking about how "classy" and "fancy" Tamra's hostessing is. First of all, the word "classy" and Tamra do not belong in the same sentence.
Now a report emerges that Heather Dubrow is not the sole RHOC bridesmaid and despite Vicki skipping the officially sanctioned Bravo-filmed bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas, she is indeed in the midlife crisis wedding party! Bravo wouldn't have it any other way.
Right out of the gate, Melissa Gorga's first blog has some pretty harsh comments for Teresa Giudice. In addition to citing reasons why she doesn't feel comfortable with Antonia spending time at the Giudice house (Juicy gymnastics anyone?!), Melissa continues to place blame for the family feud on Teresa's bespangled, feathered, and bronzed shoulders. Oh girl… the victim act is so last season! This season is all about renaissance. Get with the program!
And as I said before; I refuse to take sides on this ridiculous feud anymore. They are BOTH at fault and both ridiculous. The Gorgadices need to grow up and act like adults. Put the famewhoring aside and stop with the finger-pointing!
Remember that Lindsay Lohan movie "Freaky Friday" where the mom became the kid and the kid suddenly morphed into the mom role after they were both struck by lightening or something? Yeah – that was last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey!
As the adults continued to behave childishly and bicker pettily over everything imaginable, the kids were able to give them a little lesson in communication, letting bygones be bygones, and focusing on the positive!
Before we get to all that, things begin with the cast recovering from the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. While none of them lost their primary homes, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga both had their shore homes damaged. "My house… what happened??" they both wail – as a flood of last summer's empty bronzing bottles and sequined bikinis wash over their feet. 'All my marble deck furniture like suuuunk! Waaaah… and what about my rhinestone encrusted jet ski Joeeew' Ok – so the editors cut that out, but you KNOW that's what really happened!
First of all, yes we heard the rumors that Teresa Giudice's alleged cooking-based spinoff is happening and in the casting phases, buuuuut… we're still investigating that!
Regarding a so-called Madame Juicy spinoff, Andy Cohen was questioned and played coy.
“Maybe, you never know,” Andyhinted to Wetpaint. “We don’t like to spin everybody off, we like to go slowly.”
In other words; brace yourselves because you know – and I know – it's coming. Teresa will be spun-off! Rumor has it, Teresa doesn't want a spinoff based on her personal life, but Bravo is hoping to capture the Joe Giudice's trial and how that will potentially affect Teresa's family and life.
In other news concerning the Real Housewives of New Jersey star: tonight is the season premiere! Teresa will not only be torturing or gracing us with her presence (depending on how you look at it) on tonight's epic premiere, she'll also be appearing on WWHL. Pace yourself with the Fabellinis, kids!