So last night was really something! Was this DYNASTY orReal Housewives of Miami? I mean a pool fight between queens? Angry ladies in negligees screaming? Champagne glasses being flung? Bitchslapping and accusations flying? Booze and bitching galore? I love it
And in the center of it all stood a series of blurred out nipples over surgically altered boobs. Just the casualties of a lingerie party, I suppose.
Joanna Krupa is a curious case, isn't she? She's pretty as an angel but she's like a Transformer. She appears like an apparition all soft blonde light and sparkling blue eyes, sweet pink pout and then BOOM! Her hair turns to razor blades that will slice you, her mouth is filled with fire, bullets flying from her nipples (all three of them!), and her eyes become like shards of glass. Joanna will cut a bitch. She will stalk her prey and maul them like a wild beast hungry for dinner. Maybe that's the problem – none of these ladies eat enough and the hunger drives them crazy.
Tamera Mowry is about to become a first time mom. At nine months the Tia & Tamera star is officially on birth watch! Twin sister Tia Mowry, who became a mom last year tells Us Weekly that she'll be along to help her sister through the process. "I will be in the room with her coaching her."
Tamera is hoping for an all-natural (re: drug free) birth and Tia has her doubts on whether or not her sister will be able to handle it! "She is my sister and we can't take pain. Pain and us, we just don't mix," Tia jokes. "She is trying to be brave, which is good . . . but I don't think she is going to make it."
Ahhhh… there's a huge storm brewing off the coast. And things will get wild, crazy, and unpredictable. And that's just Real Housewives of Miami! Don't even get me started on Hurricane Sandy.
This week Reality Tea spoke with Lea Black about RHOM and we got some dirt on tonight's shocking episode where Adriana de Moura bitch slapsJoanna Krupasilly – all while wearing next to nothing mind you. Now I've never been to a lingerie party that didn't turn into a crazy mess (OK, so I've only been to one and it was from my college days and I didn't really wear lingerie) – and Lea agrees. Her take on what happened: "The drama's organic. I don't think any of the drama on this show is contrived drama. These girls they can't hold back when they want to!"
Lea said the slap is "just the beginning." Adding, "These girls, the dynamic between them is just… explosive."
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR MORE OF OUR EXCLUSIVE WITH LEA!
Aaaahhh… Miami a town where boobs come out to support charity. And not just the kind of boobs stuffed in a bra. Some of those boobs go by the name Joe Francis.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami there was a ton of T&A – meaning a lot of trashiness and a lot of asses. Poor Fembot Fakenstein got it into her pretty little head that she could upstage the mighty Lea Black, Miami's resident charity queen (maybe?), by hosting a lingerie party to support Susan G. Komen. I bet Susan is so proud.
So Fembot invited 800 of Lenny's boob goddesses, asked them to wear the stuff they normally wear to the supermarket and show up at her house, checks drawn and appetite for liquor, drama, and camera time at the ready. Actually I feel bad for Lisa, I think she really thought this would be a fun event and didn't get the memo that Bravo ruins everything. Better luck next time, toots!
Dang there were a lot of almost but not quite fights this season on Real Housewives of New Jersey! One of the show's supervising producers recently dished on what happened during the Goddess Party and the infamous sister-in-law, parking lot blowout. Apparently Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga's altercation got so intense producers were ready to hold them back!
In a new Bravo TV video, Michael explains: “What’s fascinating about this scene now — looking back after the fashion show — is that it kind of foreshadows Kim D.’s allegiance to Teresa and how she puts herself in the middle between them."
“Something else of note, is that even though Melissa and Teresa kind of come close to blows here, we’ve never actually had fistycuffs [a fight] break out between any of the housewives on our show … let’s just all hope it stays that way,” he adds.
WOWZERS! The video, with the producer overlay, is below. You do not want to miss it!
Moving on, we sort of forgot an important event here at Realty Tea. Yes, it was the wedding anniversary of Teresa and Juicy Giudice! The couple frequented a gay bar earlier in the week and spent the actual day carving pumpkins with their girls. Very sweet. And congratulations on the um, years of, um… wedded bliss?
Some photos are below.
[Photo Credit: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW OUT OF CONTROL THINGS NEARLY GOT BETWEEN TERESA AND MELISSA?
Shayne and Nik haven't seen eye-to-eye with Doug and Courtney since day one and have openly expressed their disgust for both their marriage and Courtney's inappropriate clothing. Nik even went so far as to call Doug a child molester. And apparently the worst is yet to come!
Tonight is an all new episode of Real Housewives of Miami and since the ladies act like high school students on the regular I thought it'd be fun to compile a collection of Yearbook Superlatives. Remember those? Most Likely To Succeed, Cutest Couple, Biggest Flirt, etc.
Tonight's episode features the infamous slap and it also features the ever-classy Joe Francis who happens to be a friend and client of Lea Black's. Joe, of Girls Gone Trashy fame, claims he has slept with bothJoanna Krupa and her sister Marta. A claim Joanna denies. Joe has been tweeting up his insistence that it is true and accusing Joanna of bullying him in the press.
Shouldn't Joe be focusing on his massive legal woes and financial issues instead of you know desperately trying to make himself relative through a reality show. Oh what am I saying?!
Anyway, tonight Adriana de Moura slaps Joanna in the face and we all get to watch! Reality Tea will be live-tweeting all the drama and we won't be tearing our drama-starved eyes away from the screen for a moment. So make sure to join us tonight!
Real Housewives of Miami airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c.
[All Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE OR TIRED OF THE OVER-WROUGHT HW DRAMA?
$2000 shoes – check! Fur chubby – check! Assistant that treats you like the queen you wish you were – check! Coffee as food replacement – oh, you know CHECK! Celebrity clients willing to look ridiculous at your behest – check! Husband that foresakes any of his interests to accommodate your wardrobe and fashion whims – CHECK, CHECK, CHECK! Baby Fashionista as your best accessory – check again!
Aaaahhh… they're just Rachel Zoe's Top Ten Fashion Must Haves. Number one on the list is actually unlimited bank account.
The Rachel Zoe Project bitchtress recently shared her fashion mandatories with BravoTV and it's a long list of um… things we all could live without. Ok, just kidding I actually need them all. Hopefully Rachel will buy them for me. Behold Rachel's list is below!
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR RACHEL'S MUST HAVES LIST!