I imagine Leah Calvert and Jeremy Calvert‘s decision to work on their marriage went a little like this: they touched hands while both reaching into the Cheeto bag at the same time. There were sparks – and Hot Cheetos were made. Then the Teen Mom 2 star dumped the bag out on the coffee table and instead of reading tea leaves to predict her future, she read Cheeto dust. It said Jerrrrr-meeee and Leah – FOR-EV-ER.
Then Leah realized she could highlight her hair using the neon orange Cheeto crumbles, and do a vow renewal at the Mingo County Community Center (real place y’all) or in Nitro, WV (real place, y’all!) and honeymoon at the Boones Farm Dispensary. Or you know, maybe she and Jeremy just started following each other on twitter again and changed their Facebook statuses from “Divorced” to “It’s Complicated” Both are equally insane ways to deal with a marital problems, amirate?!
Cynthia Bailey‘s marriage to Peter Thomas almost never happened, but happen it did – and it’s been causing Cynthia grief ever since. Apparently that is partially The Real Housewives Of Atlanta’s fault. Of course, it’s also NeNe Leakes‘ fault. Speaking of which, Cynthia says NeNe’s days as star of RHOA are numbered – well that’s it, it’s time for a reality TV divorce!
Regarding their marriage, Peter has threatened to cheat, wanted a love nest, gets in fights with her friends, can’t keep a business afloat, her family can’t stand him, and – and! – when Cynthia had fibroids the dude could not cope! Cynthia says this season her marriage has improved now that NeNe is out of her life, but she and Peter still continue to have a bevy of financial problems – he declared bankruptcy, Bar One is currently in the process of being relocated after the owner of the building was foreclosed on, and Peter can’t afford to put gas in his Mercedes.
Oh Vanderpump Rules never fails to disappoint does it!? And last night Peter Madrigal was allll riled up, which is HOTTT times a million. I digress. The important things were that in the battle of the girly-men, Tom Sandoval got his false eyelashes ripped off and his delicate constitution bruised, and James Kennedy got his size 23 skinny jeans protected by Kristen Doute, who was punching the beglitter out of Tom 1. Pent up rage, anyone?
Tom Schwartz, well he tried in vain (“vain” being the operative word) to break things up, but OMG – his hair! His pearly, flawless skin! His modeling career.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous just released her latest single, “Shake That” which is an homage to her idol Britney Spears. Scheana also recreated a famous Britney cover from her album Britney Jean, by using neon graphics against a black and white headshot.
“I’m really happy with how it came out,” Scheana gushed. “It’s my favorite song I’ve done so far. How can I top it?” Oh I don’t know, unless auto tune comes out with a newer version!
I personally have been digging into this story, since we’ve been hearing so many conflicting reports, and the Signature Apparel Bankruptcy fraud case involving Jacqueline, Chris Laurita, and his brother, Joseph is raging on – no matter how much Jacqueline wants to pretend it’s over and done with!
The Lauritas, the former owners of Signature Apparel, LLC, are accused of misappropriating company funds, to the tune of $8 million, for personal use – including vacations, cars, private jets, homes, and shopping – but then filed bankruptcy in 2009 to avoid paying back debts. At that time Signature Apparel was also boasting millions in revenue. Creditors protested the bankruptcy to the trustee, who after investigation, then filed a claim against the Lauritas, resulting in years of court back and forth for the Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars.
Kim Richards clearly does not keep her dog Kingsley on a tight leash! Last week he bit Kyle Richards‘ daughter Alexia, requiring two surgeries. But this is not the first time Kingsley has bitten – he attacked 4 (FOUR!) other people besides Alexia, including a close friend of Kim’s. And Kim is now being sued as a result!
In a statement, Kim said Alexia went into a room where Kingsley was secluded, after being warned, and the dog attacked. Kay Rozario, Kim’s friend whom she refers to as a “second mother” was savagely bitten by Kingsley in March. While they were in Kim’s bedroom, Kay reached over the bed and Kingsley bit through her hand to the bone! He then went for her face, which Kay blocked with her raised arm, which was also injured!
According to Kay the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star’s first reaction was, “Please don’t tell anyone. I’ll lose my show.” Cause, priorities! Then Rambles crouched over a trashcan and prayed that all of this would be thrown away in the garbage!
Last night’s premiere episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was alllll about Apollo Nida. And let’s just get one thing out of the way first: Apollo looks fiiiiiine with that full beard! (I know – there is something wrong with me. I admit that).
It’s sentencing day for Apollo but Phaedra Parks is nowhere to be found. She strapped on her beehive and fled to Augustus, GA with their sons, Ayden and Dylan. Phaedra tells her mother she doesn’t want her sons exposed to the situation and there are paparazzi outside their house. In reality Phaedra is pissed – whole ‘nother level pissed – and rightfully so!
Over at Phaedra’s house, the remodel is looking fabulous, and the paparazzi are… invisible! Only Apollo, that beard, making some eggs when his brother shows up. His brother?! Wha… never would have expected a goofy white kid to be the brother of Apollo. Apollo admits that what he did was wrong, but not that wrong – I mean it can be fixed! Apparently he has been sipping from the Teresa Giudice denial juice, comes in two sparkling flavors: Whaddyagonnado? and At The End Of The Day…
It’s hard to believe there was so much drama on season 6 of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. It’s hard to imagine there will BE so much drama on this seventh season of Real Housewives Of Atlanta!
Of course, I cannot wait – I am literally already clutching my wine glass in anticipation. Squeeee! With that being said, let’s recap all the goods from season 6 so we’re reminded afresh of who hates who, what caused what friction. And of course, Mirror, Mirror on the wall – whose the shadiest of them all?!