Last night was the series premiere of Million Dollar Listing Miami. Which means new sharks, new million dollar high stakes deals, and lots more drool-worthy properties. All of that, plus the beach! SOLD! I wonder if any of our former Real Housewives of Miami ladies will be making an appearance?
We start out by meeting Chris Leavitt, whose motto is work smart, not hard. Chris prefers to conduct his phone meetings from his office, the bath tub, which he says is also his therapist. Among his most important strategies for being a top dollar agent is looking good, and being the type of person his clients want to hang out with. I mean clearly it's working because 2 minutes into the show Chris and his Oscar the Grouch eyebrows are my favorite. #CallMe
Chris, who grew up on the east coast, strives to bring "Northeast class" to the Miami new money market. He does most of his business in the exclusive enclave of Bar Harbor, which is old money and new money home of Miami's most fabulous – and wealthy.
According to a new report Aviva Drescher's father George, the perverted and too risque for TV octogenarian has landed a Bravo spinoff with his future wife Cody. Immediately this sounded fishy to me because of the outraged fan response to George's on-air sexual harassment, but then I remember Patti Stanger has a show, so…
“Even though the current season of RHONY is a ratings flop, the breakout stars are Aviva’s dad, and Lavette,” George and Cody a source told Radar Online. “Fans have very strong reactions to both of them as individuals, and of course as a couple. Dana’s show doesn’t have a working title yet, but will begin filming at the end of August.”
Well, we suspected it was happening, but now it's been confirmed: Kyle Richards and Yolanda Foster will be gracing our screens again. Ugh.
The ladies reveal that they will both be back on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills next season! Whatever happened to that wage strike they were trying to pull against Bravo? “Yes, [we’ll] be back,” Kyle enthused. “I’m ready to go back.” Kyle described last season as "dark" and is hopeful this season will go in a more positive direction. She also hopes she can finally get things back on track withLisa Vanderpump.
In case you have missed hearing Yolanda discuss her love or her lyme, or Kyle complain about cheating and Lisa and try to get attention with splits and hair flips, you're in luck – the ladies tell In Touch Weekly the show is already filming.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies continued to terrorize Montana like a plague. The beautiful surroundings of wild Montana shrank beneath the force of their bickering, bad behavior, and crying orgasms. And Cowboy Paul stroked his gun lovingly and thought, thank goodness I've got this to protect me in the apocalypse.
In the luxury accommodations, Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Do Me are bored and suffering from cabin fever. Carole Radziwill is suffering from being too long in the asylum – serves her right for trying to observe crazies in their native environment. To assuage her boredom Sonja Morgan invites the sexy (and very young) ranch hand over to clean out the kitchen while she swans around in a negligee swatting at him with a toilet brush. I am positive she molested him by the seductive light of the fridge. Carole lost her breakfast.
Sonja is bitter that they'll be spending another night at the ranch instead of out in the town sizing up the locals – there could be hot and swarthy cowboys ready for a Mrs. Robinson adventure with a big city gal. Sonja apparently thinks Reese Weather-spoon is out there, just waiting to have fun. Instead Kristen Taekman has planned a chef to come and make dinner for the girls. Sonja is over personal chefs – she does this everyday! With what budget? I wasn't aware that Groupon offered this?
Ramona Singer has been very brave this summer – she left the Hamptons for a vacation to St. Barths with husband Mario Singer in an effort to save their marriage. Ramona filed for divorce from Mario when it emerged that he was having an affair, however a few months later she let her husband move back in after he promised to ditch mistress Kasey Dexter.
Kasey retaliated by going to the press with steamy stories about Mario and details about their relationship. Mario and Ramona have tried to silence her with cease and desist letters, but Kasey won't back down. And since it's probably all true they can't legally sue for slander! In an effort to rebuild their marriage the couple was supposed to be on a romantic vacation, but instead they're arguing over Ramona's drinking! Too much turtle time
Witnesses say Ramona was really hitting the pinot over dinner the night before and got a little out of control. “Ramona and Mario were at the pool on Sunday afternoon, and he was very upset that she had had over indulged at dinner Saturday night,” a source told Radar Online. “Specifically, according to Mario, Ramona had too much to drink."
Oops – someone didn't know how to keep all their parts to themselves. While his wife Kendra Wilkinson was pregnant and dealing with a newborn, it seems former NFL star-turned-Kendra-accessory Hank Baskettwas getting busy with a wo-man not his wife!
Ava London has come forward alleging that she and Hank had sex "several times" over the course of many months. “The last time we were together was about a month ago, right before [Kendra] had the baby,” Ava confirms to In Touch Weekly.
Ava reportedly tells the magazine she can confirm the affair with text messages – and even video. Oh goody – his & hers husband and wife sex tapes. Maybe they can get a package deal with Vivid. Now there's something to brag about in the Christmas card update letter.
Last night on Ladies of London, there were hats and fashion shows and horse races – and Noelle Reno whining about Scot's misfortune and how sad it is that the press doesn't love her like she's Caprice. A girls gotta have goals, right?!
Juliet Angusthrows a hat party to feature a milliner and because British girls like hats. And according to Caroline Stanbury, they also crave borrowing British traditions as Americans have so few. We do? Juliet's other reason for hosting this party is to reunite all the girls after the disastrous Fourth of July party which featured Annabelle Neilson and Juliet arguing on the street "like fish harpies" and Caprice trying to do everything in her power to insert herself into the situation for camera time.
Speaking of Annabelle and Juliet – there is still unresolved drama, which means everyone has to talk about it and talk about who needs to apologize to whom, who is at fault, and how they're all going to resolve this for the sake of the group. There's many more horse-centric events to attend, y'all – we can't have acrimony! It might displace our hats.
I don't even know what to say about last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. It was surprising – to say the least – surprising in that it featured real emotions and a storyline that did not seem entirely crafted by producers. Sure, there were moments that seemed 'encouraged' but the reactions of the women to the circumstances seemed deliciously authentic – which makes the episode both incredibly sad, and incredibly engaging to watch. In short, this is one of the most interesting episodes of RHOC I've seen in a while, except for the revolting Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers scenes.
Let's dive in!
Shannon Beador is at Tamra Barney's house looking for a confidante in a former kindred spirit. See Tamra has been down that divorce road again and again (and if this season's Eddie has any indication… again!). Shannon confesses that since their children were born – pretty much the beginning of their marriage – things have been very strained and distant; that David does not look at her with love in his eyes, and after a bout with allergies David pretty much permanently switched his sleeping accommodations to a guest room (which explains why the master bedroom looked so itty-bitty last episode!)