Last night tables turned wildly onVanderpump Rules when one drunken girl proved that loose lips do in fact sink friendships of convenience with co-workers you don't really like!
Before any of that happens we are treated to the tragic sighting of Stassi Schroeder's a$$. No, no I didn't write "Stassi being an a$$" or "Stassi is an a$$", but literally Stassi's a$$. She spread her cheeks for a bikini waxing. Decency is dead, folks! Apparently the best way to cleanse yourself of the ex you don't really want back but want to keep manipulating is to go hairless!
Stassi makes Katie Maloney go with her but Katie has never waxed. Katie never will again. It's taken me forever to figure out why Katie, whom I refer to as Anonymous Stassi Schroeder Friend No. 1, would dye her hair that unflattering color – and then it hit me. She's literally trying to be Stassi. Same hair style (but shorter), same side part, same color-ish, same mean girl antics. #FalseIdol
Things begin with Dinner Party From Hell 8.0. Kyle Richards and Yolanda Foster are agreeing to disagree by disagreeing when Brandi Glanville stares Kyle down with an unfocused glare and some threatening, slurry words about how she could say a lot of bad things about Kyle. Bad, bad things. Like for real mean stuff.
Lisa Vanderpump warns her to knock it off, but "know this" Brandi sees things. Weren't you just waiting for her to whip out that electronic cigarette?! Brandi was a wreck and needs: blotting papers, powder, detox, a nap, water, psych drugs, to get off my TV.
"Tonight's show is a continuation of my drunken dinner last week,I was drunk 1.5 times during our 5 months of shooting,Im super embarrassed," Brandilies!OMG LIES said. "I can barely watch it for 2 reasons -1 my drunk ass (not cute)Thnks @CarltonGebbia13 4 taking care of me& 2 my baby Chica goes away forever"
Brandi also insists she doesn't need rehab and that despite many, many, many, many reports of her drunken disorderlies, along with a slew of photos, and video footage to prove it.
Last season Heather Dubrow sold her mansion for $16 million dollars and now she and husband Terry are building an even bigger spread! Heather hosted a hoe-down themed ground breaking party to celebrate construction on the new project and of course her co-stars attended!
"AMAZING day at our Groundbreaking party!#buildingournewhome #HoeDown #familyandfriends#RHOC," Heather tweeted.
We had Krazy Kenya Moore and more crazy Mama Joyce and we had busloads of drama. I'm glad I was sitting down, sipping on some chilled wine because otherwise I would have needed my own dose of psych meds!
Let's rip this mess apart.
So NeNe Leakes is in her store-sized closet (she oughtta start letting 'bout to be broke Porsha Stewart shop in there. More on her later) packing for Savannah. She's excited to be planning a girls' bonding trip and Gregg is excited to be fitting into NeNe's shoes. They wear the same size. They should dress up as each other for Halloween.
On the other side of town Kandi Burruss pays a visit to Cynthia Bailey to bond over mamas who hate their man and wanting to cancel their weddings. Was that an episode of Jenny Jones ten years ago? Anyway, Kandi breaks down sobbing as she recounts for Cynthia the incidents at the bridal boutique the week before. Cynthia is shocked that Mama Joyce and the Aunts went all OLG: Old Lady Gang and got crunk amid some big ol' white ball gowns. Say Yes To SECURRRTY!
For onceKenya Moore is sounding more sane than crazy. Fluke or… fluke? Reacting to last week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta where Mama Joyce Said Yes To The Cray-Cray (Say Yes To The Psych Ward?), Kenya offers some advice and some commentary.
"I recently served as maid of honor for one of my best friends. I consider myself as her family. When Mama Joyce told Carmon it was a family affair, I was offended for her. I have been in the company of Mama Joyce many times and she is a sweet, caring, warm person. Having said that, even when emotions are running high, it is never a reason to be taken out of character," Kenya writes in her Bravo blog. Quite agree!
"I was disappointed to see her take off her shoes as if to prepare for battle or throw them at Kandi [Burruss]’s BFF from childhood, whom she considers a daughter herself," Kenya continues. "Mama Joyce must contain her inner angst and allow Kandi to live her life, trust that Kandi will protect herself, and understand that she instilled the values in Kandi that have made her the sharp, successful business woman she is today."
Instead of doing the adult thing and simply apologizing, Brandi wrote an entire blog justifying her actions. Well that's not good enough for Hard Rock Cafe where Brandi was scheduled to attend a celebrity event in Tampa this weekend! In light of the comment they canceled Brandi's appearance from the round up!