Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey it was another round of tit-for-tat over the most mundane crap imaginable. I mean, maybe it's not mundane if it's your family, but after 2.5 seasons of the storyline that never ends, I think we're all a bit tired of the Gorgadice family feud. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results, I think we can all officially declare the Gorgadices "insane". Right, Dr. Jacqueline Laurita, wino-behavioral specialist!
Things begin – oh who really cares where they begin because this show is like a loop everything ends and begins in the same exact spot so that you never know which episode is which and what exactly happened. Let's start with Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga rehashing birthday party-gate to their respective spouses while their kids all listen nearby.
Melissa is flipping some pancakes and Poison is deciding if they'll liquefy in his intestines so we all have to hear about his explosive diarrhea again, then she tells him something else vomit-inducing; that Teresa and Kim D (Teresa's soldier in the hideous hair extension army) like attacked her at Gia's party. And it was like sooooo terrible, and now she has to go into witness protection, and she did so visit her FIL in the hospital for like hours and hours and hours except she was in the lobby on twitter and reading magazines so he didn't actually see her. Meanwhile Antonia's just hanging out in the background.
In light of several episodes exposing Teresa's kids as seemingly wild and overly exposed to family drama, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star is angry that she is being portrayed as a 'bad mom'.
"Teresa is afraid that she’s being shown in a bad light, especially in her interactions with her children," a source reveals to RadarOnline. "Teresa is flipping out. She is a good mom and she’s worried about how she’s starting to look when she asks her kids about family drama."
The besties for a minute have recently been experiencing some friction in their relationship – particularly as Tamra reconnects with Vicki Gunvalson and tries to rehab her image as a reformed mean girl.
In the latest, Bethenny and Jason Hoppy continue to fight over custody of three-year-old Bryn. Reportedly Bethenny and Jason (who are in mediation to work out a mutual custody agreement) were ordered before a judge for an emergency hearing because Jason claims Bethenny is refusing to let him spend enough time with their daughter!
I have to hand it to Tamra, for a season and a half she has really been selling us on this whole 'Gretchen is my BFFL and I misjudged her all this time. I'm so happy we made amends' act. I almost believed her. Oh, who am I kidding – we were as likely to buy that as we were to buy a Gretchen Christine Plasticine Sack.
Now that the Tamretchen fractures are being featured on the show, Tamra is only too eager to reveal that yeah, Gretchen is kinda annoying. In her new blog she complains about Slave Slimey, Gretchen's 'ultimatums' and Lauri Peterson's ulterior motives concerning Tamra's true bestie Vicki Gunvalson!
The saga of the one-hit wonder continues… Unfortunately.
In her attempt to get Kandi Burruss' 'Don't Be Tardy' lawsuit against her thrown out of court, Kim Zolciak is taking on Kandi's lawyerPhaedra Parks and asserts that Phaedra has failed to prove that Kandi has sufficient rights to the material in question. She filed a Motion To Dismiss suggesting that Kandi has no grounds to file a suit for material that she has no copyright for.
In paper's filed by Kim's legal counsel she attests that: “Nowhere in Plaintiffs’ Complaint is it asserted that Kandi Koated Entertainment, Inc. is an owner or an assignee of any copyright interest in the Composition or the Sound Recording”.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star of course believes otherwise. Kandi is not the sole party in the lawsuit so it is unclear if Kim believes none of the plaintiffs involved have rights to the copyright.
This week's episode focused on whether or not Melissa made an effort to visit her FIL while he was in the ICU. And who has ownership of a strip mall gym and its smoothie bar. Yay for Jersey gym-gate! #sarcasm
Of course what we saw on the surface was very different from what actually occurred behind the scenes (as is always the case with RHONJ!). Reality Tea's source shares some EXCLUSIVE information about what was really happening during filming – and why Melissa seemed to have trouble identifying when she visited her FIL!
Things begin with Heather Dubrow being ridiculous. Apparently Heather just cannot possibly attend Lydia's salsa party if AlexisBellino is there given that Alexis is like soooo fake and phony and faux and everything horrible. Lydia encourages Heather to try and make amends with Alexis and call her so they can put their differences aside. Lydia calls herself the "Friendship Whisperer." If this woman starts teaching classes and writing how-to books about training people to curb their aggression using treats I think I might explode.
After much twisting of the Chanel pearls ('cause costume jewelry is only acceptable if it's Chanel) Heather concedes she will be the bigger person and call Alexis. Lydia lets out a squee.