So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense.
Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…'
My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!
So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti!
Anyway, now that she's been booted from RHOBH Adrienne is hawking a product-a-minute and cougar-dating. And she's also attempting to angle her way back onto our televisions!
"I have several different opportunities I have that I can't talk about, but they're big opportunities," Adriennehints to Wetpaint about a return to TV. "Something along the lines of is what I'm all about is a businesswoman. Giving back philanthropically."
Lamar will be arraigned on September 27th and if convicted he will likely land probation and alcohol awareness classes since he is a first time offender. Hopefully he doesn't turn into LiLo!
No word on what Khloe thinks on all of this, but sources connected to the star tell People (print edition) that she wants to save her marriage and hasn't given up on Lamar. She continues to wear her wedding rings.
Bethenny admits that she she is soured on the idea of a fairy tale love story. "Part of my identity was always looking for a man. I always wanted to meet someone – to complete you, take care of you," Bethenny acknowledges of her history with men and with reality TV.
Oh NO! Say it isn't so?! But alas, it is… Straight from the horses mouth (and that horse is a giant white statue in someone's living room!)
Kelly describes filming as "fun" and was excited to get to know some of the new women. "It was a nice opportunity to hang out with Luann and Carole [Radziwill]. It was real life. It wasn’t fabricated stuff. No enemies and no kooky craziness. It was great!"
Brandi has chalked it up to friendships just having their ups and downs, but reports have claimed she and Kyle Richards have been teaming up! Revealing what went wrong between the two Real Housewives of Beverly Hills besties, Brandi accuses Lisa of using her marital issues for publicity for her spinoff. Apparently Brandi is also sick of being in Lisa's shadow. This Brandi is getting tooooo big for her miniscule britches!
“You might have heard some stuff about Lisa and I having a bit of a tiff. I found out some unsettling things about her using me to get this Scheana [Marie Famewhore] girl-the waitress Eddie [Cibrian] cheated on me with-publicly," Brandi divulged in NW Magazine, an Australian publication.