Last night marked a lot of positives for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. One those being that there was absolutely no Taylor Armstrong drunken drama to report. And the ladies went to Las Vegas and GOT. ALONG! *gasp* Of course, being that this is Bravo and they like to traumatize and put us through undue emotional strain, there were also some drawbacks. Namely she whose face melts like a crayon left in the sun. Versions 1 & 2!
Things begin with Yolanda Foster, her fridge, her lemonpalooza, and her Hermes belt hosting an anti-aging conference. Yolanda explains that scary plastic surgery zombies who pump their faces full of toxins need to accept that aging is natural and that moving one's face is too. I think we just discovered why Yolanda doesn't like Adrienne Maloof or Faye Resnick – she doesn't agree with their "grooming" habits or the fact that even while crying, screaming, and attempting to smile their faces look like blobs of dough with eye and nose holes.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not believe Mrs. Foster4.0 is immune to the needle of 'tox. That forehead is awfully smooth for a woman of her age. I don't believe lemons are solely responsible for her refined pores. Do you?
Prior to slinging drinks and swearing on her microminis that she's a descendent of Swedish royalty, Stassi appeared on a competition reality show about being spoiled and entitled. Once a bitch, always a bitch, I s'pose!
Stassi starred on the now defunct reality show "Queen Bees" which aired for one season on The N and was hosted by former America's Next Top Model winner Yoanna House!
CONTINUE READING FOR A VIDEO OF STASSI ON QUEEN BEES!
Among the accusations Camille levies at Lisa she accuses her of not really owning Sur. Well, that's kinda true! Lisa doesn't own Sur outright – she has two business partners – and they are featured on Vanderpump Rules.
We also saw Lisa meeting with them on last season's RHOBH when she was renovating Sur, and Lisa announced them as her business partners. Oh the scandal! #sarcasm
The children of Real Housewives are often more interesting (and scandalous) than the Housewives themselves, unfortunately!
Remember former Real Housewives of Orange County star Tammy Knickerbocker whose husband passed away leaving her with two teenaged daughters and a bikini-promoted water business?
Well her daughter Lindsey Knickerbocker was arrested in December for a DUI that belongs on Cops! TMZ discovered that the now 23-year-old Lindsey went on a drunken rage and punched a police officer after crashing into several parked cars while attempting to drive.
It's nice to know Paul Nassif isn't a man to hold a grudge – even against his ex-wife Adrienne Maloof which is really saying something considering the allegations she made during their divorce process.
"As long as she's happy, that's all I care about," he told TMZ. As for whether or not he's still a Rod Stewart fan, Paul said "of course!"
Moving on, Brandi Glanville (and her thigh-high slit) appeared on Good Day LA to promote her new book Drinking & Tweeting – and her dress line Brand B. And by the looks of things only people who look like Brandi herself could pull them off!
Ready or not – here it comes. Kim Zolciak's spinoff Don't Be Tardy is alive and well and coming to Bravo this spring. To celebrate the momentous occasion Kim, informed the masses of Wigettes on twitter that filming had officially wrapped. And to celebrate she de-wigged again.
Oh good lord! So last night we visited the asylum on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Sometimes I just don't even know what to think with the level of delusion of these Housewives. It's like they live in an alternate universe – one I certainly never want to be abducted to – where sanity and decorum is reversed. Heaven help us, but at least we now know the secret of Kenya Moore's "highly coveted" booty: falsies!
So last night things begin with Kenya showing off how she gets her award winning body: the gym. Hmmm… Kenya may have had an award winning body in 1945 when she was Miss USA but um… now she has Photoshop, lipo scars, and Kim K knock-off prosthetic booty and if she thinks that's not obvious, than well… errrrr… yeah.
Kenya and her trainer workout and slam Phaedra Parks for looking less than workout video ready and then Kenya complains that Phaedra is slamming her all over town. Look, ladies – you're both guilty of same thing.
Phaedra is going the glamour route. All work and and no play makes a booty dull. She's doing a donkey booty photo shoot with a celebrity photographer. Thankfully she left her pickles at home and is instead wearing an outfit reminiscent of a pickle. Oh Phaedra – for all your so-called highbrow connections you can't find a stylist?