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They’re baaaaaaaaaaaack. So, last night was the Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere and well, I think it’s very clear how this is all shaking out. It’s Teresa Giudice vs. the world. Bring back Super T cause she needs that cape! From the very first moment of the show, it was evident the emotions are raw and palpable. And it was hard for me to watch. Dare I say, this is the realest any Real Housewives show has ever been!

Things begin with the Wakiles and Gorgas are at the shore house. Kathy Wakile is cooking of course. Someone brings up Teresa‘s cookbook and, conveniently,  just so happens to have a copy. And Richie just so happens to read aloud from it in front of all the parties while Melissa Gorga looks uncomfortable. Everyone discusses how much Teresa has changed since fame swept her under it’s demon wing and flew her far away from the marble palace in the half-vacant sub-division, the orange tans, and the salty, sewery breeze of Jersey; to a place where she is honored and revered and not a pariah for her love of sequins and trash talk. Non-Juicy Joe (aka Joe Gorga – gosh it feels good to use the old nicknames again!) announces that as a family, they are moving past the cookbook insults. We all know that’s not true!

At Jacqueline Laurita‘s she is having a party to get Caroline Manzo and Teresa in the same room together. The Manzo spawn are still incensed about Terea’s comments in the cookbook and Caroline is all like ‘you don’t have to kiss my feet – but you better if you want me to accept this apology.’

Somebody brings up Ashley, Ashlee, Hatlee - whatever – and wonders it she’s still a complete loser. That’s an affirmative! Lauren Manzo, who’s become quite the Donette Caroline, quips that the only thing Ashlee has changed about her life is her hair color. Lauren, on the other hand, completed med school by aged 16 and is a doctor on TV, saving children’s lives. Oh wait – that was Doogie Howser.

Teresa shows up and things are prickly. She wants to talk to Caroline and apologize about the cookbook misunderstanding. What?! <<Head spinning>> She wants to handle something like an adult not chuck an onion at Caroline’s head and tell her to go to hell or something. Teresa sits Caroline down and basically says they were all jokes and Caroline should get over it, but she’s sorry she hurt her feelings. All said though, Teresa’s face was so full of emotion and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. It was odd. All these ladies seem so broken. Caroline doesn’t feel the apology is sincere (even though I think it was in Teresa’s way) but decides she’s going to co-exist with Teresa. They hug and Teresa tells Caroline she’s like family to her.

Meanwhile everyone else is prepping for the shore. At the Gorgas’ Joe tells Melissa Teresa thinks Melissa would leave him if she met a richer man. So this definitely seems like a family rebuilding. Melissa and Joe go back and forth about the Teresa issue; they’re both hurt and Teresa is totally out of line. Who says that? So when did Bravo rename this show The Teresa Experience?

Kathy and Richie are packing. Richie pulls out some sex oil and Kathy gets all squeamish, telling him to hide it so no one sees it. Yet – they’re talking about it on television… Right. If sexing up their marriage is going to be a storyline, don’t expect me to recap that. Kathy implores him to just be nice to Teresa and try to get along, since they’ll all be spending time together over the weekend.

Over at Teresa‘s they are also packing up for the shore. Teresa admits this has been a hard year for her with Joeww and his issues. Teresa says Joe has become the nanny and she is now the breadwinner. She loves having him help her around the house, except he’s still lumbering around like a caveman screaming at everyone and tantruming. In the middle of all the chaos, Melania calls Gia a “stupid pooper” BWAHAHA! – which needs to replace bitch and whore as the standard HW insult. Teresa threatens to wash her mouth out with soap unless she apologizes like she means it. Hmmm… maybe Caroline needs to try that approach with T!

In the car on the way there, Teresa asks Joe about what he did last night. Joe claims he was out with some girls! On business! Um, say what? Teresa and Gia‘s hair stands up on end and they’re both like ‘wadaya mean girls’? Joe barks that they need to stay outta his bizness  – except that broke fool doesn’t have bizness. And he was at TGI Friday!

Teresa is well aware of the rumors that Joe is cheating on her and she tells him Gia knows too, so he better keep his legs closed! Who would have an affair with Joe? Teresa would cut you faster than you could say Boo. Dang, I get the shivers just thinking about it!

Later while Jr. Mafia Joe is preparing for prison by weight lifting, Teresa wafts in wearing her leopard print robe to confront him about Gia being aware of what goes on. Teresa cites a magazine article she did talking about him going to prison and says Gia is worried about it and can read things. A Giudice that can read? Impossible! Joe, in a rare moment of clarity, tells Teresa this is the life they chose by going on TV. Teresa wants to protect her girls, but Joe seems unconcerned.

The funniest part was the mouse poop in that slide thing they had all rolled up on the roof and all the girls freaking out. haha. I love Melania and she melts my heart. She’s totally a crazy Housewife in training!

At Jacqueline‘s she gets a visit from her lifecoach. Apparently Ashlee is completely out of control and only focused on partying. In fact several times she has gotten stranded in the city because she’s too drunk to get home and Chris has to pick her up in the middle of the night. Yikes. The lifecoach gives her the same advice she’s been getting for three years and hasn’t taken. So when are they buying Ashlee another car?

So, Caroline is menopausal – or pregnant with a change of life baby! No just kidding – although I just kept waiting and waiting for Bravo to pull that out. It could still happen! Maybe Kathy will get the middle-aged storyline this season. Anyway, Caroline’s been having migraines and has been increasingly short tempered. She blames the company she keeps and her children for deserting her. Then hastily adds that Lauren still lives at home though. The doctor tells her she’s getting old. ha

The Gorga’s arrive at their shore house, which used to be normal and quaint until Joe decided to blow it up into a mcmansion complete with a liberry and a roller rink. Sadly, it’s still a construction zone and not fit for habitation. Melissa glares at him and snaps – no sex for you. Tarzan’s not leaving the jungle tonight!

So they all cruise over to Rich and Kathy‘s place, where they proceed to talk about Teresa some more. Apparently Melissa just so happened to come accross Teresa’s In Touch Weekly cover. And after she drew devil horns and a mustache on Teresa’s face and sobbed that she wasn’t front and center, she read the article. Basically, Teresa admitted she was scared that Jr Mafia Joe may be headed to prison.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!!!

It’s with great sadness that I announce that tonight is Sheree Whitfiled‘s last appearance on Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know, I cried too. Not because I am Sheree’s only fan (which I very well may be), but because Sheree’s arrival on the reality television scene was golden, precious, and insane. I mean, she only has my favorite intro in Housewives history: “I like things that are elegint and soffisicated, just like me!” Priceless, amirite?

As an homage to the most delusional Housewife of the whole franchise, it is without further ado that I unleash She by SheBroke: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Sheree’s greatest moments, shall we?

Season one we met Sheree; then full of hubris and conviction. “Budget – what’s that?;” she quipped. Insisting that soon she would be getting a whopping seven figures in a divorce settlement from ex-husband Bob Whitfield. Remember when Sheree had a personal shopper come to her mansion, which was drifting into foreclosure as she spoke, to bring her shoes? Oh, how the mighty fall.

“A big problem men have is they’re intimidated by successful women,” She by SheDelusional explained while spending her paltry divorce settlement on dresses she couldn’t afford. “I’m fashion; I’m style!;” she exclaimed. It’s so very in vogue to be broke, you know! So, of course first comes ridiculous, then comes a fashion line!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE OF SHE BY SHEBROKE’S HIGHLIGHTS!

This season of Real Housewives of Orange County has been the equivalent of friendships in a blender, as the ladies have swapped buddies, traded aliases, and gotten us all mixed up with the flavors! First, Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi became BFFLs, bonding over blowjob helpers and bad dye jobs. And now, Alexis Bellino and Vicki Gunvulson have apparently discovered they have much more in common than their television jobs—the Bravo one, obviously, not the newscastering one.

While it’s no stretch to see Tamretchen joined at the hip and cackling, Vicki and Alexis (Vilexis?) are quite the odd couple. But apparently, Paula Abdul was right and opposites attract.

Taking to her Bravo Blog, Alexis explains how she and Vicki went from enemies, to frienemies, to friends. “The friendship between Vicki and I wasn’t immediate. It has taken three years for Vicki and I to GROW into our friendship. Yes, Vicki said some mean things about me in the past, and yes I wasn’t always the kindest to her. However, we have both been very open about the fact that we wanted to try to make amends over three years, NOT OVERNIGHT!”

And, of course, their former best friends defecting to enemy lines had absolutely nothing to do with Vilexis’ bond. “Vicki and I were trying to make amends last year, before Tamra ever thought about scheming a friendship with Gretchen, so don’t let Tamra or Gretchen fool you that Vicki and I are only friends because those two became friends.”

“The friendship between Vicki and I is not out of convenience, nor is it contrived. Vicki and I have both said we have nothing to dislike the other person for, and we really enjoy being around each other,” Alexis adds. “Not only that, but Vicki apologized to me for everything in the past and said that if Tamra hadn’t been in her ear she would have gotten to know me and befriended me sooner.”

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST!

There’s always something with the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Which is probably why they’re our favorite of the Housewives franchises. The ladies can never keep the drama or the fashions tame and understated. As the ladies have been making the media rounds to promote the upcoming season, one key member of the cast has been conspicuously absent.

Teresa Giudice has been keeping a lowish profile as of late – at least where the RHONJ is concerned – and focusing on her other reality venture, Celebrity Apprentice. Apparently that’s a calculated move on her co-tarts’ part as they are refusing to do any publicity with her! Eeks.

“It is so ugly between Teresa and the rest of the cast that they can’t even be in the same room with each other,” a network insider tells The Huffington Post. “But this isn’t one-sided, and the hate goes both ways. Caroline Manzo, Kathy Wakile, Jacqueline Laurita, and Melissa Gorga want nothing to do with Teresa, and she wants nothing to do with them.”

And apparently the cast is yet again blaming Teresa for all of this season’s drama.  “This season is the most dramatic yet,” Melissa one cast member reveals. “It got so ugly that I’m not sure any of us will want to return for another season if Teresa remains on the show. The betrayal and backstabbing is heartbreaking. I have not seen how it will be all edited together yet, but let’s just say everyone will get to see [Teresa’s] true colors.”

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO READ TO REST!

Well, I have to recap the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion, don’t I? Cause at this point I don’t think there’s much left to say except #BlackBabyGate is still rearing its ugly head, Phaedra Parks really doesn’t know (or want to admit) what Apollo Nida‘s job is, She by SheBroke is a complete idiot. Oh! And Marlo Hampton called Kim Zolciak a whore! Yeah, that happened, indeed it did! Whew – what a moment. What. A. Moment.

Really, we could skip all the other parts and go straight to that, because it’s the only part that really truly matters. It went a little like this: Marlo walks out, rocking pin-straight hair and a dress with shoulders constructed from a bathmat (Project Runway challenge?). She sat down, said no one liked her once she became friends with NeNe Leakes, copped to her charges, denied having her bills paid by Mr. Ted Turner, confirmed she still had a lot of work to do learning etiquette, and then she came out with it. Kim, you’re a whore! Apparently this was in response to something Kim said on the show about Marlo being an escort (which is all but proven fact at this point) with a large ladyhole. All class, no trash!

Frankly, I couldn’t believe it. Marlo just came out and said it – ‘Oh, I think we’re cut from the same cloth… you know, cheap polyester, maybe nylon – oh, wait no… No, we’re not. I’m cut from 10-ply cashmere and you – you’re a whore. You’re just some cheap acrylic. Google my charges! Cause prison uniforms are totally made from luxurious fibers.’

Marlo had it all planned out – she was practically reading a script NeNe had written for her and handily printed up on Gucci stationary; except I really don’t think NeNe was involved in this – nor Bravo, for once – I think Marlo acted as the lone honey badger. Vicious, crazy, and totally entertaining in a sadistic way. That being said – she needs to leave the show. And really, really study that etiquette manual. Like, non-stop. And Kim should be her study partner.

So, Marlo prances out and somehow gets into a screaming fight with Kim about who’s a whore and who’s an escort. It turns out that now that Kim is married, she’s neither a whore nor an escort and that whole Big Poppa charade never happened. Seriously- anytime anyone brings it up she points to her ring and says she’s a married woman now. Ok, but like Marlo said, she used to be a home-wrecking harlot flaunting it on TV and loving every minute of it; waving that big ol’ rock around! So she was basically a whore, but really Marlo: Pot meet Kettle.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO READ THE REST!

Last season Real Housewives of Miami was widely panned for being completely boring. Bravo apparently heeded the advice of viewers and decided to spice things up to jalapeno levels! After firing two castmembers and reportedly signing on Joanna Krupa, Karent Sierra, and Lisa Hochstein – things are getting crazy down in Miami. So much so that the CBS Miami reports there was quite the altercation at a recent fashion show!

At the show, which was hosted by shoe designer Lisa Pliner at the home she shares with her husband Donald J. Pliner, the ladies of Bravo behaved every way but civilized – per their contract stipulation! Apparently, things got heated with drag queen/emcee Elaine Lancaster started harassing Marysol Patton for her overly puffed face over an issue they had years ago and the two got into it! Marysol couldn’t take the heat and became very emotional, causing a scene and threatening to quit the show, according to the Miami Herald Blog!

A hysterical Marysol was overheard freaking out to Bravo producers and threatening to walk out, before a producer reminded her about that iron-clad contract she signed! When party-goers noticed the drama, Marysol pulled it together and insisted all was fine, but she needed to get back to work.

Speaking out about the event, Elaine Lancaster claims it was no big deal; chalking it up to “tension” and “dealing with a bunch of catty women and egos.” Laughing it off, she added, “In fact, I try to emulate the best that women have, unfortunately, that’s a bad quality that some women have.”

Lea Black told reporters she had no idea what the ruckus was about, but it didn’t spoil anyone’s good time. “I think there was a little conflict among a few girls that maybe they could have handled it at another time, at another place but it happened here.” And indeed, it wouldn’t be a Housewives franchise without some inappropriately timed and placed drama, would it?

Moving on, newbie Housewife Joanna has decided she is something of an anti-fur advocate. First, she led a protest against the Kardashian owned DASH boutique, which appeared to be Lisa and a couple of her girlfriends staging an event for the paparazzi before grabbing some lunch. Whatever the case, it seems she nabbed PETA’s attention and now the animal-rights group has unleashed her as their newest spokesmodel.

The new campaign features a topless Joanna sporting a halo, angel wings, and a cross. It’s classy, of that I can assure you! The advertisement is supposed to help you remember to rescue animals as she is also standing (floating?) on the heads of several small dogs with the caption: “Always adopt, never buy.”  In another photo she is snuggling a yorkie to her naked chest.

“We’re spreading the word that breeding your dog or cat isn’t the way to go,” Joanna explained to the New Times. “Somebody needs to put their foot down and stop this breeding and these hideous puppy mills. Dogs’re [sic] in these little tiny cages for life. It makes me so angry, and if our government doesn’t do anything about it, I have to.”

Well, ok – I’m not one to take away from a good cause. Oh, what am I saying – I’ll snark on anything. The photos of Joanna saving animals is below. Too bad no one told her she should save herself the embarrassment of participating in a reality show!

[Photo Credits: Johnny Lewis/WENN.com]

THOUGHTS ON THE RHOM DRAMA? ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THE SECOND SEASON? THOUGHTS ON JOANNA’S PETA CAMPAIGN?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR JOANNA’S PETA CAMPAIGN!

Oh, Basketball Wives so much drama it’s hard to imagine there’s more to come! On last Monday’s episode, viewers watched the slap heard round VH1 as Jennifer Williams was hit in the face by former bestie Evelyn Lozada‘s assistant Nia Crooks. Well, big mistake Nia, because Jenn is mad – suing mad! Really – where did Evelyn find this so-called assistant?!

Taking to her blog, titled “Seeking Justice,” Jennifer walks through the emotions associated with that day, and why she feels Nia deserves to be hauled into court! Jennifer believes Nia was motivated by a quest for fame – something she has in common with her boss! “On my show some of these women take pride in showing their ass in the most compromising way.  These females have a point to prove and will do or say anything to be a ‘reality show star,’” Jennifer seethes.

“Fame is a powerful drug and some will go any length to achieve it.  I am a grown woman and I have never had to fight someone to prove my point, I use my vocabulary and brain for that.  Mature woman should be able to communicate their differences without violence.  Using your hands to express yourself is absolutely WACK!!!”

As for the day in question, Jennifer had no intention of getting into an argument with anyone, and was very surprised by what transpired. “The assistant/gofer decided to be in full action with her monkey see monkey do self as she snuck a slap from behind.  You are a coward if you catch me off guard while sitting down and not to mention a bully!;” Jennifer recounts

“Then the president of the NON Factor T-shirt Enterprise (HA! HAHA!) thought that jumping across the table like a demon would be a good look for the young women in America that watch the show. The horses racing around the track were more civilized than some of the woman with me in the presidential suite that day. I swear I still don’t understand why someone would want to act so ridiculous on national television but I guess some will do anything for fame.” Dang, I love when Jenn gets feisty and mad!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO READ THE REST!

Well, it’s official! With no definite cast announcement, filming for the third season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has begun! And apparently, viewers can expect some pretty drastic changes this season!

“Filming began last week on the third season with Kyle Richards,” a source close to the show reveals to RadarOnline. “She has a lot going on in her life right now, including helping her sister and fellow cast member, Kim Richards, navigate the sometimes rocky road of sobriety.” But viewers shouldn’t expect another dreary season of Kim’s drunken antics – this is a whole new RHOBH!

“Kim’s sobriety and recovery are going to be a focal point of her story line. The ladies haven’t all filmed together yet but are expected to begin that next week. Kyle has been lamenting that she is really going to miss Camille [Grammer] because she added much needed class to the show.” Well, that’s a change from the first season when rumors abounded that she lobbied to get ol’ Cammie fired!

As for Taylor Armstrong, she’ll be back but reportedly not for long! “The ladies are also extremely concerned about Taylor’s drinking problem,” the insider reveals. “It has really gotten out of control and they all believe she is an alcoholic in need of help.”

“Taylor needs to go to rehab and the producers have talked to Kyle and Kim about how best to approach her drinking problem, because Kim’s battle with the bottle was documented on the air,” the insider continues. “There has been talk of doing an on-camera intervention for Taylor.”

However, don’t expect another season of Taylor’s issues to overtake the storyline. After last seasons extremely depressing focus, producers want to get away from the negativity and move towards the BH viewers want to see!

“Producers also want to lighten things up for the upcoming season. There was so much sadness in the last season because of the suicide and Kim’s drinking problem. Viewers want to live vicariously through the ladies and not see so much doom and gloom.”

And speaking of Taylor, despite reports that she is freaking out about losing her job on RHOBH, Loony Lips expressed no such concern on a recent radio interview with The Kyle and Jackie O Show.

“I think there’s so much speculation, I hear things all the time about my life that are completely untrue … I read so many crazy things … [it] definitely has not been decided, they haven’t announced or determined the cast … but that certainly didn’t come to me from Bravo, I heard it in the press.”

THOUGHTS – DO YOU BELIEVE THE THIRD SEASON WILL BE MORE UPBEAT?

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