Ok blk…. we’ve been hearing about your fulvic acid and alkaline goodness for two seasons on Real Housewives of New Jersey. I always thought alkaline was the thing that made batteries go, and to my knowledge batteries are toxic. Well, I decided to take one for the team and test out this blk. Below is my review haiku.
So in 5-7-5 pentameter without further ado, I present: blk., A Review Haiku:
Yesterday it was reported that Imani Showalter was fired from Basketball Wives: LA after she was a no-show at new cast member Brooke Bailey‘s birthday party, which was attended by all the other ladies. VH1 actually started the rumor by speculating whether or not Imani would return on their blog about Brooke’s party.
Well in an EXCLUSIVE, Reality Tea has been told that not only is Imani definitely returning next season, but there’s a second new lady joining the cast!
Anyway, in the latest instance of Taylor’s drunken out-of-control messiness she supposedly ruined yet another of Lisa Vanderpump‘s tea parties with her histrionic drama seeking. And, of course, it was all fueled by alcohol. Apparently Lisa wanted to invite the ladies to tea so they could have a polite chat about the incidents that happened on a recent cast trip to Las Vegas. But it ended up being anything but polite!
RadarOnline reports that poor maligned Taylor showed up, got boozy and belligerent, and drama ensued.
Basketball Wives LA is in the middle of filming and they are not going to be unseated in the drama department by the veteran BB hook-ups wives! Apparently there’s been many cast changes since last season, most notably Imani Showalter may be out!
Taking her place? Brooke Bailey! Sister2Sister reports that Brooke, formerly of E!’s “Candy Girls” reality show and former fling of NBA player Rashad Lewis, will be joining the cast as yet another woman who was never a wife! Even worse, Brooke was reportedly Rashad’s mistress who came between him and his pregnant girlfriend! All class, no trash there. Brooke is a friend of sorts of Draya Michele. More strikes against her!
TamaraTattles has the scoop on what’s really been going down on this surely blessed and relaxing vacation. The girls have been partying non-stop on the beach – which is where the infamous photo of Phaedra Parks in a thong bikini came from (more on that below!).
The cast and crew arrived last Tuesday and are rumored to be staying at Modena Villa, a luxury resort renting for $5k a night in the off-season.
As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
Sometimes you see things on TV that are straight up embarrassing. Case in point: The ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s reunion. I may just go ahead on record and call this the most vitriolic reunion ever. Am I crazy?
Some things should be kept private – or at least off camera – but never underestimate the power of a desperate and delusional blonde!
Tmara Barney and Gretchen Rossi continued their reign as the over-the-hill trainwreck Barbies – and both their weaves had to come from the Barbie Comes To Life Wig Collection, sold exclusively in the Sunday morning coupon section of your local newspaper.
I assumed Heather Dubrow was brought on to inject a dose of class into this mess? Mission failed.
Didn’t anyone ever tell Heather you can’t reason with crazy?
On last week’s episode, Aviva Drescher‘s husband Reid – sarcastically, according to Aviva’s twitter – suggested Heather may be “jealous” of Ramona‘s success following her disastrous speaking engagement at the Learning Annex. Well, Ramona definitely didn’t agree with that. Oh, no – Heather isn’t jealous, she’s just insecure.