Last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules reminded me of two classic movies that perfectly apply: Fatal Attraction and Dazed and Confused.
Let’s start by examining the ulterior motives of Stassi “Free Ride” Schroeder. Stassi, quit SUR, moved away, started dressing the Jr. League vice president, and thinks that makes her a grownup. Sadly, she’s still loitering outside the gates of SUR, leaning against the bar with a pinot grigio, sighing, “This is what I love about these SUR bitches, I get more mature, but they just stay the same.” You know who I’m referencing!
Stassi needs a job – because she is bored of free riding her friends TV show, spending daddy’s money, and wearing that real live adult facade. Maturity is hard – especially when you really, really, really yearn to be back at SUR, causing drama, and bitchwhipping these pathetic losers into shape like Red Heather (since we’re going with old movie references! There’s pate, and croquet! And Kristen Doute is totally going to bomb the bleachersAriana’s bar).
Jax Taylor started rumors about his friend Tom Schwartz cheating on his girlfriend, but now he’s annoyed that no one understands he was trying to help. He just wants Tom 2 to be happy, and to be free, and single and he knows that poor Tom 2 gets anxiety and doesn’t have the manly parts to breakup with Katie Maloney on his own!
But Jax has another reason for spilling rumors – he’s totally tired of being the only person on Vanderpump Rules called out for cheating. You guys, he’s not the only villain on this show and it’s high time we all know the truth. When the word “truth” is used in the same sentence as Jax’s name, does some thing explode out there in the universe that none of us can see?
“It’s so great that finally other people are cheating. It’s not just me anymore! I’m always this villain — but everything that I’ve done, they’ve all done,” Jax gloats.
Gia Giudice is embarking upon a career in the entertainment industry with her new girl group 3KT.
Gia and fellow 3KT members, Alex Maetta and Christianna Cardinale, already came under fire for what many considered a racy video that was a cover of Britney Spears‘ ‘Circus’ so they decided to go in a completely different direction for their next video, a holiday song titled ‘Season Of Joy” and accompanying Christmas-themed music video.
Now that Mama June has lost her job when Here Comes Honey Boo Boo got cancelled over her affair with a registered sex offender (and all the insanity that followed!), and she’s also having her paycheck seriously docked for ruining the almost fully-filmed fourth season as a result of her salacious behavior, someone at Vivid believes she’s hard up enough to accept a major payday for a sex tape. Please, no. Just please. NO.
According to sources Vivid approached June and Sugar Bear with the possibility of filming a specialty sex tape, but also performing for the network’s website!
Things pick up where they left off with NeNe Leakes bursting into tears – I firmly believe it was the false eyelash glue – before bellowing at Cynthia about how she has been scorned, left adrift in a desert of vicious reality television vultures waiting to pick the bones of her success and that she has arisen again like a falcon from the fiery depths of a barren civilization filed with predator silicone monsters in discount Louboutaaaans and the weaves stolen from the corpses of past Housewives but NeNe has praaaaayed for Cynthia’s redemption, but she is nothing but prey for those with agendas to destroy.
NeNe Leakes will be the first to admit she has used Real Housewives Of Atlanta to her advantage to leverage a pretty spectacular career – and now other reality stars are following suit. In a battle of veteran vs. virgin, NeNe talks how reality TV has changed, while Claudia Jordan reflects on her first season.
“I would like to say I’ve grown,” NeNe says. Of being an influential black woman on TV, she says, “Reality television has been both negative and positive. When our show first started, it was mostly positive. Even though we got in your face, it was never a fist fight,” NeNe recalls. No, not a fist fight – just a wig tug courtesy of She by SheBroke! Or a plonk and a bloop and poke your eyes out, courtesy of NeNe!
Brandi Glanville has heard the expression loose lips sink ships, but she doesn’t care! In her very unfiltered podcast she calls out Kenya Moore for being weird and desperate, but has nothing but love for Teresa Giudice as a fellow sister who’s been scorned.
Unfortunately worlds of ultimate evil collided when Brandi and Kenya both joined the cast of Celebrity Apprentice, premiering next month, and the two really REALLY did not hit it off! Brandi is spilling all about Kenya’s odd behavior and her nefarious ways – and we cannot wait for Krayonce to strike back in 3… 2… 1!
“I’m watching Real Housewives Of Atlanta right now and what’s on my mind is how evil Kenya Moore is,” Brandi comments. “She’s just miserable and she also wants to get attention for herself.”
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE HOT TEA!
NeNe shared that the defrauding former Real Housewives Of New Jersey star brought her 4 daughters to a performance of the show and they had a great time. “My girl came to Cinderella last nite with her daughters to support me! I love seeing her. She looks so good & she’s a super strong woman,” NeNe gushed on Instagram.
Apparently in the months since Teresa was sentenced she’s become good friends with the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star, who has been a staunch supporter of Teresa for years. <side eye>