Tonight is the second installment of the reunion for the never-ending fourth season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Tonight's segment will be all about who has the worst marriage. And for those of you who are interested in seeing a bunch of grown women engage in a game of you she-said, she-said; get ready!
To celebrate the craziest, wildest, most vitriolic and least refined of Bravo's Real Housewives franchise, we've decided to put together a little list of our top most shocking RHONJ moments. Behold the greatness below.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, the battle lines were drawn as the women divided into three groups: The Nasty Nicies, The Above The Dramas, and The Something To Proves. I'll let you do the sorting over who goes where since it doesn't require very much brain power.
Things begin with a heart-to-heart on the beach between Romain Zago and Joanna Krupa. Could it get anymore romance movie than that? Two attractive people, strolling side-by-side, the tension is palpable, Romain is concerned: is Joanna drinking too much? She's embarrassed them both and he has no idea what's wrong with her! Joanna is mildly defensive, but mostly empathetic. Oh – and she so doesn't have a drinking problem!
Then Adriana de Moura comes on to the scene. Romain decides this is the perfect moment to tell Joanna that Adriana was throwing herself at him. Joanna is aghast. How unclassy. And she would know; she's read Class With The Countess cover to cover at least five times. Joanna sniffs that Romain can have Adriana – plenty of other men will take her. Romain is like 'Oh yeah? I mean you used to be an escort, oh, I mean allegedly! And you're out-of-control when you're drunk. And you've got Marta always around. Me on the other hand… "catch" is my middle name.'
"I want to go on record that I’m not proud of the dark place that I went to when I lashed out at Teresa. It’s not in my nature to allow myself to react so harshly, and I feel bad about my behavior.
Unfortunately, this time I reacted after Teresa had pushed me to my limit. How many more chances and benefits of the doubts am I going to give her? There are a few things that I hold sacred in my life: my children, my family, and most of all my marriage. How dare she try to pick away at my marriage and then throw her mother under the bus and say that she is the one who told her this?
Why would she betray her mother’s confidence and get her involved in this? A lie is a lie. Trust me, if the Pope himself was spreading lies about my marriage, I would still do anything to stop it.
Somebody really, really doesn't like "that Palin daughter" (to quote my friend Liz). Apparently Bristol Palin was dancing her sequined butt-off for rehearsal of Dancing With The Stars All Stars when a "suspicious package" arrived.
At first Bristol was all like, 'For me?! I have a fan! Happy Day!' but then Bristol realized she no likeied by anyone because the package contained a note demanding Bristol be removed from the set! Spurned former DWTS loser, perhaps? Perhaps someone that actually deserved to be in the final three last time but was beat when weirdo Palin-lovers clogged the phone lines voting in vain to redeem their fallen idol, Sarah?!
Sources report to TMZ that a note was attached to a "white-powdery package" and the note read (in paraphrase): "This is what will happen to you if Bristol Palin stays on [the show]."
It’s that time again! Reality Tea’s Booze ‘N Books Club! With zillions of reality stars – and new ones popping up every second – and each one with something to sell, we here at Reality Tea decided to test out some of these fetes of literary greatness. And what goes better with books that are badly written than cocktails? So we thought we’d try something fun and review some of these gems!
Each month Reality Tea will be reviewing both a book and a cocktail. Last month we reviewedNeNe Leakes' Never Make The Same MIstake Twice. And for cocktails we did the great Real Housewives of Atlanta Moscato-off. In case you weren't aware Kim Zoliciak and Cynthia Bailey both offer their own versions of the wine, and NeNe allegedly has (had?) one.
This month we're branching out and offering another network the opportunity to hawk some swag and reviewing Evelyn Lozada's Inner Circle: The Wives Association. And because surprisingly – very surprisingly given their propensity for drunken antics – none of the ladies of Basketball Wives offers a cocktail, we're reviewing Melissa Gorga's Voli Lyte Vodka. The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey are inundated with bottled beverages it seems.
We didn't report on this sooner, because well, TheDirty makes us feel dirty. Ewww… However, the other day the website famous for outing people's dirty laundry – whether true or not – reported that Real Housewives of Miami star and supermodelJoanna Krupa was a former high-priced escort before her modeling career took off.
The post claimed to have proof that Joanna was a high class prostitute of the Elliot Spitzer variety who would bang zee menfolk for a pricey $10,000 a romp. Then of course Maxim Magazine discovered her existence and poof – no more prostitution whore!
Kate Gosselin has been desperate for fame and attention ever since her reality show Kate Plus 8 was canceled. Well, now she's got it!
Recently Kate has been the subject of an unsavory tell-all book accusing Kate of child abuse among other damning things. Amazon was forced to pull the book after lawyers for Kate insists it is filled with invalidated, untrue information – and information which has been obtained from illegal means.
Author Robert Hoffman disputes those claims, insisting the material for Kate Gosselin: How She Fooled The World was procured legally and with thorough investigation. Robert claims he interviewed dozens of people connected with Kate and found her computer hard drive in the trash.
Well now sources are alleging that Robert, who happens to be friends with Jon Gosselin, got all his information from one source – and once source only: Jon!