It seems like only yesterday that that the newly revamped Real Housewives of New York started. And now tonight is the season finale. Reflecting back on the season, I have to admit – I've really enjoyed it. Perhaps I am cross-referencing it to Jersey, but overall I like the new ladies and well, it's been nice to see less vitriol and more class. Well, at least a little teeny, wee bit more class.
In honor of tonight's final episode here's a list of the most memorable moments from this season!
'Andy! Andy! Andy! Your mom's a liar, your dad's a coward, and I slept with them both – and Juicy, bitch! bleeep, bleeepetey, bleeep, bl-bleeep, bleep, c-word.' Oh was this Jerry Springer we watched last night or Real Housewives of New Jersey? I really couldn't tell because it was so embarrassing, disgusting, and low-brow.
Whatever happened last night, I am fed up. And I am incredibly horrified by the behavior I witnessed. There was once a time – long before many of you wee youngins were around – when grown women who were also possessors of the title "Housewives" behaved like grown women on TV.
And then this stuff started happening and the bottom dropped out. But to draw it out until people stoop to the lowest and expose their families as truly dysfunctional is not what Housewives was ever about. If I was interested in watching Intervention, I would! I'm not.
Frankly, I am bored with the over-blown drama, the orchestrated plots. The storylines that never reveal the true story but always read between the lines. And the lies. So tired of the lies.
And I'm really saddened this is what it's all become. So sit there, smug and manipulative in your $2000 suit, Andy Cohen, and continue acting like you're none the wiser and it's all a little game. Just keep sitting there like the king of fools.
I thought Jacqueline was fun, spunky – a littly kooky and off-kilter – but she seemed to be able to laugh at herself and enjoy life. I remember in season two when everyone was on the on the Italian cruise, Jacqueline and Teresa Giudice (then best friends) were riding the elevator and she playfully rubbed her butt against the door. I thought it was unfiltered, silly and in short real – even though a lot of viewers found her behavior immature. Maybe Jacqueline is immature – maybe she was all along. But still, she had fun. She lived life her life on TV without pretensions. It was refreshing.
Jersey has been a franchise marred by serious infighting, drama, and negativity since the beginning. Danielle Staub was the original brunt of controversy and hatred. Did she deserve it? In part… Did it make good TV? For the most part. With Danielle leaving, tides have turned – and they've turned like a whirlpool drowning the entire cast in murky water. Jacqueline seems to have descended to the deepest depths.
Don't Be Tardy For… uuuuh… the Weave Convention? Kim Zolciak was conspiciously absent from the season 5 Real Housewives of Atlanta promo photos after several rumors maintained that she was largely absent from filming obligations. Well apparently it's because the former Real Housewife turned real housewife has landed herself a permanent spinoff!
Kim will definitely be present in season 5 of RHOA, but sparingly according to TMZ. Instead Kim was granted her own show which has already started filming in Georgia. Don't Be Tardy For The Wedding was a surprising ratings hit for Bravo last season – probably because of the much-anticipated wig removal and apparently good things come to those who wait!
Things got crazy last night, yes they did. Somebody likes her drinky a little too much – and doesn't like her fiancé enough. So – before all that blown out of proportion melt-down that I thought was going to be like uber crazy, but wasn't really, happened – everyone talked about how much the like their maids, how much they don't like each other, and about how Lea Black's friend is blaming Marysol Patton for ruining her life.
Things begin with Joanna and fiancé Romain 'just waking up' and Joanna is sporting a full face of make-up, plus false eyelashes and some revealing lingerie. Yeah, I totally look like that when I wake up too. Sadly, Romain is more interested in his blackberry than sexytimes in front of the cameras. What no sex tape aspirations?
Feeling defeated, Joanna heads into the bathroom to yell at her sister Marta who reveals she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein for a while because Romain hates her and she hates him too. I just can't get that worked up about anything before coffee, but clearly I don't have the Krupa temper – or penchant for over-reacting!
If I had a dollar for every time I wrote the name Teresa Giudice, I could bail her out of bankruptcy debt. Not that I would, but I would think about it because Lord knows her antics are paying my bills so maybe I owe her. Sheesh this stuff happens so fast, we just don't even want to keep up!
Anyway, days after releasing an interview with In Touch Weekly announcing that she needs help and is taking a break from drama, Teresa has been all over the media defending herself and perpetuating drama. Some of that drama I have seen in person. And of course she is not alone. Helping her every step of the way are Melissa Gorga and Jacqueline Laurita. When desperate famewhores meet, the sane world explodes.
The Real Housewieves of New Jersey stars who really, really, and I mean REALLY need to step away from the computer, the TV, and the United States are making wild accusations left and right – from lawsuits, to harassing texts, to releasing so-called texts, to blaming each other for the collapse of the economy and last year's Swine Flu outbreak. So let's break this latest shenanigan down.