First of all I have to admit I spend way WAY too much time analyzing the antics of the Housewife. They are an odd specimen, aren't they? And Real Housewives of New Jersey in particular. Although those ladies leave me wanting to turn into Pinot Fabulous Singer and just get sloshied all day, I have to admit they really keep it interesting from the psychological perspective.
Which leads me to last nights FINAL season finale of RHONJ. And out it all came like projectile vomit. Except I was left with way more questions than I had to begin with. I mean will I ever get the answers I'm looking for or will I die questing to know what exactly happened at the infamous S4 Posche Trashion Show? I guess if I can ever manage to get stranded on a desert island with Teresa Giudice I might learn the truth, but until then all I'm left with is an an aneurysm from wonder and a seriously large bill for TherapyByBravo. You're paying for this right @bravo_andy?
It is not often that a Housewives show rivals that of a Shakespearean drama with so many higher level plot points circulating around. I literally feel dizzy. Bravo has truly outdone themselves, but they've also truly over done themselves and I don't think they can ever come back from the edge with this one.
Real Housewives of New Jersey has been like the black plague this season. It's been all dark, dreary, and depressing. And just when things were starting to get semi-good between some of the castmates the annual Posche Fashion Show – the epi-center of all things drama on RHONJ – showed up and all went to hell in a handbasket!
Well, apparently the fourth season will be the last for the PFS (what will Kim D do with her life now?) as Bravo is not filming it for the fifth season! Despite the fact that the show will happen on October 2nd at THE BROWNSTONE of all places, Bravo cameras will be absent according to NorthJersey.com because they have no idea what ladies will even be returning for season five!
EEERRRK! Hit the brakes! Didn't MelissaGorga just complain about Teresa Giudice continuing her friendship with Kim D after she caused all that drama in her life? But Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita get a pass? Well, I guess family is family and co-stars you aren't really friends with but pretend to like for the sake of a storyline on your reality show are another thing. BTW, Jacqueline wore a top from Posche in her People cover. I can't keep up with these ever-changing pseudo-friendships!
I don't know about y'all but I am totally loving Real Housewives of Miami thus far. I don't know why; it's got a fun vibe, a rich vibe, and a kooky one. So that means next season someone will be a suicidal drug addict who escapes from Promises welding a stiletto as a weapon and is on a homicidal rampage after plastic surgery made her a cyclops and her AMEX Black Card was cut up at the Saks White Sale because her husband declared bankruptcy after it came out that he was selling aftermarket implants. Anyone that gets the Troop Beverly Hills nod in this sentence wins my eternal love.
Anyway, enough about my super secret gift as a medium (watch it Alison DuBois – I'm comin' for you electronic cig blazing!), let's talk shop and get to the recap.
Things begin with gossip before breakfast – or maybe it was lunch – I couldn't tell. Alexia Echevarria comes over to Ana Quincoces' house to discuss the delusions of Karent Sierra. See Karent isn't just clueless about how to spell "Karen," she's also clueless about boyfriend Rodolpho's definition of the word "boyfriend."
Alexia does not like Karent right off the bat, she thinks she is icy and aloof. I agree. Something about her just doesn't translate well. Ana just seems to think it's odd that Karent is completely in the dark about Rodolpho's texting habits.
Well, I never thought I'd see the day that a Real Housewife of any sort graced the pages of Vogue Magazine but apparently hell froze over when I wasn't looking and pigs have replaced planes as the flying objects in the sky, because Ms. NeNe Leakes has landed herself in the mag!
Appearing with the cast of The New Normal, her new hit sitcom, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star poses next to co-star Ellen Barkin looking fantastic. Mad props, Ms. Neen and in the words of RuPaul: "Werq!" Dare I say – does this make her the most successful Housewife beating out even Bethenny Frankel?
They're rich, they're fabulous – wait, no that's only some of them. Anyway Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns! In its third season Bravo welcomes new Housewives and brings back some of the old favorites. Some we want to see back (Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!) and some… well yeah, we're a little less excited about.
Well, they're back and they're down one blonde wig! That's right Real Housewives of Atlanta returns Nov 4th featuring two new Housewives and no Kim Zolciak! At least not in the official cast photo.
Bravo just announced the return of its most popular franchise (yes – it beats Jersey) and there are some exciting new ventures on the horizons. On-screen besties NeNe Leakes and Cynthia Bailey are both back. As are Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss. As previously leaked (in what is the worst kept secret is Atlanta) Kenya Moore joins the cast. And the other new Housewife is for-real Atlanta socialite Porsha Stewart!
Surprisingly missing is of course Kim! Who is not included in the official cast photo, but is listed as a Housewife. Rumors were abound that she was basically non-existant during filming because of her pregnancy and the other women started protesting her lack of involvement. Rumor has it this spawned Bravo to reduce her role in the series. Kim hasn't been tweeting about the new release date. Perhaps this means her spin-off is a permanent deal and she'll be lessening her role as a Housewife in exchange for her role as a housewife.
NeNe was all to happy too announce on twitter that she was the "The only original standing. That should tell you a lot." I see she's let go of grudges. "Big surprises coming this season on the housewives! Tune n & get the truth! If they don't show it, I'll tell ya!" she also wrote.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE SEASON 5 CAST PHOTOS!
In a sit-down with Hollywood Life, Alexia Echevarria confesses that Karent just irked her from the very first moment. Yikes! “I think the one that is [crawling under my skin] is Karent,” Alexia shares.
“You’ve haven’t had the pleasure to meet her but I’m sure she’ll do the same thing to you. In episode one, you don’t really see it, but I knew her from before. She gave me a very cold greeting so I took it very personally. This was my first time out in six months and I saw her with her smile … and it did bother me because she did know me,” Alexia adds.
Other ladies have dished that Karent causes a lot of drama this season – and apparently she's also invading the non-reality world with her chaos. Remember how Lindsay Lohan ran someone over in NYC on Wednesday night? If you watched Anderson Live while were live-blogging the show yesterday, you got to hear an indepth discussion about from TMZ's Harvey Levin.
Well, well… what have we here. Is it Melissa Gorga appearing on the cover of a tabloid, which she undoubtedly got paid to be on, bashing co-star Teresa Giudice? I mean no big right – except for the fact that we just spent an ENTIRE season of Real Housewives of New Jersey discussing how Teresa was a terrible person for doing just that!
Oh my how the tables have turned. Spin, spin, spin Melissa – gotta get that story out. Now, I fully (and I mean FULLY) expect Teresa to be next with some bigger badder media (Extra?, 20/20? People? OPRAH?) hopping out there to do the same, but I just find it very ironic after all Melissa's lambasting about how Teresa was using her friends and families to make money and get attention. Hypocrite or is Teresa just getting what she deserves?
Me thinks Melissa's real annoyance with tabloid-gate was that no one wanted to put her pretty face on the cover of a magazine. Well, except for that free New Jersey weekly. Lady Gorga, anyone? Anyway, now here she is! She's got a story and now she's got a cover. So let's see what Lady Gorga has to say, shall we.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR MELISSA'S TAKE ON STRIPPER-GATE!