On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice - or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.
“My greatest accomplishment in life was my most difficult task in life. With God and my family we did it. I will forever remember this day 7/16/12. It was written in cursive for this king to exist,” Yandywrote. This is the first child for Yandy and her boyfriend Mandecees.
“Long day.. Or journey I should say! Congrats to my Pud@yandysmith on her beautiful baby boy..She’s a trooper for delivering such a blessing,” Kimbella supportively tweeted.
Kimbella also welcomed her little girl into the world. Juelz Santanatweeted: “7p 3oz 7/21/12 U won’t ever need no ni&&a for s#it cause DaDDY got U!!” A photo of Juelz and his new daughter are below! This is Kimbella’s third child.
Is there a RHOC without Vicki? Page Six seems to think so!
They report: “Bravo is looking to ax cast members from The Real Housewives of Orange County to bring in some fresh — and wealthy — talent. Sources told us Bravo execs are looking to refresh the cast the same way that it revamped the cast of its New York City franchise this season, adding three new women.”
Teresa Giudice has done insulted reality show royalty. The woman who just can’t seem to to be on good terms with anyone recently slammed Bethenny Frankel‘s infamous Skinnygirl cocktails!
On tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa compares her Fabellini to Bethenny‘s Skinnygirl empire. “My thing is I don’t like anything that tastes diet-y,” she explains. “For instance, Skinnygirl tastes diet-y. I don’t like that.”
Teresa seconded the claim on her Fabulicious website, writing: “I’m so so so proud of it. And it tastes delicious!!! And Fabellini is low calorie–less than 1/2 the calories of other ‘skinny’ drinks.”
Oh those Kardashians – add twitter to the mix and they’re a lethal combination. Kim Kardashian and the fam spend an exorbitant amount of time tweeting their “dolls”, but sometimes an ex-doll throws it back in their faces!
Recently Kim has been expounding the virtues of her new relationship with Kanye West and swearing she’s taking things slow and truly learning from her mistakes. I’m sure she hasn’t learned a thing, but pimpmomager Kris Jenner is sure making her pretend she’s turned over a new leaf!
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star took to Twitter to remind her fans that she’s a whole new girl and her past indiscretions – you know the ones that have made her made her rich and famous – are, like, so 10 minutes ago!
Last night was the premiere of Project Runway, Season 10 and since nobody cares about anything but the clothes, Reality Tea is providing you a snap-judgement photocap. C’mon you know that’s how you watch the show, too!
The Challenge: Take a garment that defines you as a designer and make a companion piece for an over-the-top Times Square Project Runway Promotion fashion show and have it judged by wacktastic former Sex And The City stylist, Patricia Fields and guest judge Lauren Graham (aka mute drone with no fashion pedigree).
Also supplying commentary, but no actual critique is Michael Kors (once innovative American sportswear designer – now PR sound-bite drone), Nina Garcia (once important and relevant fashion magazine editor), and Heidi Klum of the crotch short minis and crisp German accent.
So, that was a bust wasn’t it? Ok, let’s trash discuss some looks!
I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe. Evelyn Lozada, wine bottle throwing star of Basketball Wives will be appearing on Oprah‘s OWN Network on a show called Iyanla Fix My Life.
Unfortunately it doesn’t appear that Evelyn‘s life is the one being fixed, apparently she’s participating in a work-out segment so all of y’all can fix your lives to be more like Evelyn’s! Correction from Evelyn’s team: “Iyanla was showing Evelyn how to relax and get in her ZEN moment. The shooting actually took place at Evelyn’s home where Iyanla met with her family.”
Taking to her blog, Evelynannounced: “Hey Everyone! I’m with Iyanla and can’t wait for you guys to see me on her show ‘Iyanla Fix My Life’ on OWN - Oprah Winfrey Network in September.”