Sam DeBianchi is struggling to unload Gil Dezer's penthouse because every single agent in all of Miami (and in some cases the world) is shouting like a Greek Chorus that it's overpriced. Sam finally seeks advice from Chris Leavitt about what to do. Chris takes Sam to "kangoo", ala running around in moon shoes. It reminded me of something I'd see on Spaceballs. Unfortunately Sam's bouncing boobs were even distracting the gay guy. (Seriously who doesn't wear a sports bra to work out?!)!
Chris advises Sam to confront Gil and her co-lister Rachel about the need for a price reduction and if it doesn't work out, withdraw from the listing. Sam explains that Gil is basically delusional – comparing his out-dated penthouse to what's being built now in terms of value. This is so weird to me – this Gil is supposed to be a famous real estate developer but he's so clueless about pricing his own property and how the market works?
Brandi feels she has grounds because in the couple's divorce settlement there was a clause that states the exes can't publicly trash talk each other. Which is where the hilarious irony comes in, because Brandi has made a CAREER of publicly trash talkingEddie and LeAnn. She's done it on her reality show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, on talk shows, in the press, on twitter, in the media, in two books, in her podcast – really anywhere. I mean if Brandi couldn't publicly trash talk her ex and his new wife, she wouldn't actually have anything to say and might as well be mute!
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continued to glamp in the muck of Montana. The country air doesn't seem to be doing much to restore their constitutions, but it does seem to be causing them a great, aggrieved case of boredom. I have no idea how long they were stranded out there – alone, in luxury cabins, without butlers and forced to clear their own breakfast dishes – but one thing is for sure: Kristen Taekman is a horrible hostess!
It seems that Kristen can't do anything right. She can't make the air conditioner cool enough to quell Ramona Singer's hot flashes. She can't find someone to fillSonja Morgan's bed – and Sonja has resorted to wearing underwear. She can't get Heather Thomson to take her seriously or care what she thinks. And worst of the worst of the worst of all – she can't get anyone to Geocache!
Say whatever you want about pimpmomager Kris Jenner, but the lady knows how to make that money! Case in point – her daughter KimKardashian reportedly earned $28 million dollars in 2013!
With ratings for her reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians sinking, her fashions universally mocked, and her relationship (and marriage) to Kanye West constantly reviled, it's impossible to imagine how Kim earned that chunk of change! Are sex tape royalties that good?! Apparently not, but showing up places sure is.
The bulk of Kim's earnings come, not from endorsements or TV appearances, but sadly from appearances – that is showing up at a club, a store or restaurant opening, parties, or events.
After being missing from several intros earlier in the season, Aviva was back (and with her revolting father). Rumor was Aviva was temporarily fired for being a complete diva and refusing to attend mandatory cast functions.
The entire time the cast has been filming in Montana (yes – they're STILL there! #MostBoringHWTripEver!), Aviva has not made an appearance or been featured in the intro. Aviva claimed she could not attend the trip due to extreme asthma – asthma no one had ever heard of before.
Andy Cohen explains why Aviva's appearance have been so scattered and the truth behind her Scooby Doo style intro! "She's not in about five or six of the episodes this season," Andy reminds us.
And then Apollo Nida got indicted for fraud and Phaedra refused to comply with her deposition in Angela's lawsuit case. Angela's attorney has issued a court order demanding that Phaedra sit for her deposition within 45-days says a judge.
Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.