This is my first experience discussing the atrocity that is Kody Brown's hair. Why are there no cameras in his bathroom detailing how he achieves such a paragon of 80's greatness. Kody missed his calling by not going into figure skating because the twirl potential of those locks is epic.
This week theSister Wives took a quad-only trip to San Francisco to bond sans Kody, who is really the reason no one gets along. Meanwhile Kody stayed home to burn down the fort and show his paternal ineptitude to the world.
Things start out with Janelle running a 5K, which I hope translates into eventually running away from Kody. To support her, Kody runs with her – well actually he runs far ahead of her. Robyn, of course, is pimping t-shirts to go along with the race that feature the word "Be:" followed by a bunch of adjectives of what someone could be. Polygamous is not on the list, but the design does feature an exploding heart. Ummm…
The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta did what they do best last night – put on some high, high heels and trash each other's relationships. Kenya Moore is slaying marriages left and right because her job is apparently The Divorce Whisperer. She needs to focus on her own fantasy man because the so-called oil tycoon, well I think he's pumping gas at the Sheetz after she paid his coming to America salary.
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Peter celebrating their three-year anniversary. Has it really been three years since Cynthia was nearly kidnapped to prevent her from walking down the aisle wearing a duct tape and hefty bag wedding gown? Time flies when you're being crazy!
Cynthia's friend Natalie and her husband Christopher show up to talk about how Cynthia and Peter are not having sex. Natalie reveals that she knows Kandi Burruss' fiance Todd. And apparently Todd is quite the hustler who was known for trying to date up – or put himself in positions to reap the benefits of his associations. "Basically Todd's an opportunist?" Cynthia asks. I wonder if Natalie has been talking to Mama Joyce?
NeNeannounced on her website, "I am so excited to share a little sneak peek of my clothing line! More details soon but about to help make you all look and feel FABULOUS in 2014, hunni!" She included a shot of the inspiration boards which display no shortage of tackiness in their quest to outdo the Kardashians!
True to form, good ol' Rambles meanders through her reactions to the episode.
First of all Kim tells us what an intimate and personal event Kimberly's party was. "I only invited a small group of only our closest friends and family," Kim writes. Which includes the entire RHOBH cast? "All the people that came are so special to me and have played a part of Kimberly and my lives."
"When I invited everyone, most people received evites and there were just a handful that I happened to invite myself — Lisa was one of those people," Kim writes. "I really was on the fence with who I wanted there. I had to consider the limited space and I did not want any problems or fighting on this very special night."
The Don't Be Tardy star revealed to Life & Style that she's embarking upon a new career as a real estate flipper. (i.e. shameless plug to get her own HGTV show). “Kroy and I want to flip our house and other houses!” Kim shares. “We want to renovate homes or start building homes from the ground up.”
Oh Couples Therapy – Whew! Where does a girl begin breaking down this mess? I mean, I need therapy after watching it, but real therapy not of the Dr. Jenn Berman 'lemme stroke your F-list ego' variety.
Taylor Armstrong rendered me paralyzed by laughter for a full 10 minutes while I watched her epic meltdown over "pea green towels" and the lack of acceptable lattes at the mansion. And that's where we begin. With Taylor and John Bluher exercising their right to tantrum.
Taylor goes Oklahoma on Dr. Jenn's staff until they give her permission to call the doctor herself and complain. Immediately upon getting on the phone Taylor goes from OK to Hawaiian sunset as she calmly but snootily explains that filet mignon is a necessary requirement for her life. "I can't live like this," she whines. "It's like a joke." Yes – it is exactly like a joke except we're all laughing at you, not with you.
Lest Taylor forget about all her financial problems – lady you were hawking fake Birkins to pay for legal bills.
With her acting career um… stalling… NeNe Leakes is moving into the producer role. NeNe started her own production company last year NeNe Leakes Production True Entertainment and served as a producer for her spinoff I Dream Of NeNe.
Now NeNe is continuing with producing as she reportedly has three new shows in the works! A source told Jasmine Brand that while all the shows will be reality TV they will be decidedly different from Real Housewives of Atlanta fare. Meaning they won't show women fighting and socializing!
Joanna Krupa got married last year and now she's moving onto the next big thing: having a baby. Of course before Joanna commits to any pregnancies she wants to see if Real Housewives of Miami is renewed. Hola storyline!
Joannatells Us Weekly she and Romain Zago are still deciding whether or not they're ready to have one of the hottest children in the world, but because they're so busy Joanna wants to freeze her eggs just in case. I take their sex life is back on track then…
Joanna says she "100 percent" wants to have children. "We're talking. We're definitely talking more about having a baby this year than ever in the last seven years we've been together."