Real Housewives of Orange County is not going to go quietly into oblivion following their explosive seventh season. Oh, no – they’re clinging, grasping, mawing, and groping for attention like a flock of famewhoring zombies. Which is actually a great description of what actually happens with these reality stars. But back to the story…
So a couple weeks ago Micah Tanous (that guy who was the husband of one-season Housewife Peggy Tanous) took to twitter to announce that some of the ladies of RHOC were buying twitter followers. Oh, you don’t say. Apparently the very bored girls of the RHOC who do not want us to forget they exist in the off-season turned it into a major scandal (in their eyes).
After exonerating themselves from any misdeeds where the buying of fans is concerned they decided one lady was guilty as accused. And just who did they coincidentally deduce was the guilty party? Alexis Bellino!
Days ago photos surfaced of Anderson Cooper‘s boyfriend being K-Stewed aka the paparazzi photographed him kissing a man whom is not his significant other! Oopsie. One may think Anderson – longtime Bravo TV lover and ardent fan – would be heartbroken by the discovery, but apparently Anderson was busy vacationing in Croatia with ANDY COHEN instead!
It would appear that Anderson and Andy (Andyson?) were on a cruise together when the news of the scandal broke and just who busted them? Why Instagram and Twitter of course! See it all happened like this (and this may have been intentional – I don’t know how the mind of Andyson works). Anderson posted a photo of a sunset seen from the boat and minutes later Senor Cohen posted the exact. same. photo.
A few months backBig Ang‘s son Anthony (AJ) Donofrio was arrested with two other men and accused of dealing cocaine. Oops! According to prosecutors, AJ, 23, faced up to 25 years in prison and a mandatory-minimum sentence of of one to three years. Luckily for him his mom’s on TV the defense argued that AJ was only selling cocaine to feed his own addiction to the substance.
The night after the Big Ang star appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon flashing around her newest bling, AJ entered a no-jail plea in exchange for going to a rehab program. Since Ang was busy explaining how she’s reconnected with her estranged husband after he gave her a diamond ring, she didn’t make it to the hearing. Other relatives appeared instead. Actually it would appear AJ’s lawyer recommended she stay out of the courtroom given her past legal indiscretions!
It is a rarity to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New York and have any idea what is going on. With the constant insertion of Pinot Singer‘s insanity, I often find myself staring at the TV, mouth agape, simply wondering what the eff?
I generally put Sonja Morgan in the category of ‘nice person under duress’… I’ve pondered whether or not she has Stockholm Syndrome. My pondering is over… the former Mrs. Morgan is now co-captain on the batshit crazy train and headed straight to the asylum. I only hope the drugs are as strong as the delusions.
So last night I’m pretty sure viewers were left with many questions, the most important of all being: How is Sonja friends with a supposed super high-end important NY society people and who the hell let Pinot invade a party with her bad behavior, gross wine, and twenty-years past cute cocktail attire? Only a crazy person would allow that to go on. Where is the Sonja that demanded Alex McCord, her hideous dress, and her equally hideous manners get out of her house? More on all of this later, but first let’s start with Carole Radziwill‘s Christmas dinner.
Ahhh… Kardashians! It must suck when every person of importance or A List magnitude hates you. Oh, well – they can just soldier on pimping their wares and products that I suppose someone, somewhere maybe buys. I mean someone is buying this right?
Anyway, exciting times in K-Kountry! Kourtney Kardashian recently took to her website to announce that the Kardashian Kollection is making its international debut. That’s right they’re taking their polyester, bedazzled, besquined, leopard print harem pants and schmattas to the UK. God save well – everyone! Does the Queen know about this great injustice?
Sometimes, just sometimes, keeping things to yourself can do a world of good. For instance the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey could maybe, just maybe, not announce their every breath, snark, slight, and petty offense on Twitter. I mean they do realize lots of people see it don’t they? Which is the point, I know, but still c’mon. Quit selling your dignity for gossip.
So in the latest infraction heard round the world? interwebs? apparently Sunday was Antonia Gorga‘s birthday (another one?) and the Gorgas didn’t have a party because they may or may not ever have them.
Melissa Gorga says Antonia didn’t want a party cause she wants to go to some amusement park instead. But that’s not the point, apparently Aunt Teresa Giudice was accused of barely recognizing Antonia’s blessed day because she tweeted a happy birthday.
Aviva Drescher andSonja Morgan have already started the tepid steps to disband their barely consecrated friendship. Following a disastrous trip to Miami and Sonja’s friendship with Aviva’s ex-husband (the intrepid, blundering, moon-faced, womanizer Harry Dubin), Aviva has about had it up to [insert Harry's disappearing hairline] HERE.
In her Bravo blog the Real Housewives of New York star expresses just what is so troublesome about Sonja’s relationship with Harry. Aviva is forthcoming and honest in her sentiments, which is quite frankly shocking (albeit) refreshing for a Housewife and for that we thank you.
“If I had a magic wand, I would have married Reid 12 years ago and had Harrison and Veronica as ours without having to share them. Sharing children with ex-spouses can be very challenging. It becomes even more painful when you have to pretend to get along with your ex around your children,” Aviva begins.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert - who I was surprised to hear speak last night.
Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?
Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.