Last night’s Secrets Revealed Part 2 was the final-final episode of a super lackluster season of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. And really, there wasn’t much to it!
Dina Manzo hires the Astro Twins (real names), who are Toni Collete look-a-likes, to read everyone’s astrology charts and tell their futures. They whip out an iPad and some of Gia’s 8th grade geometry homework and get to work!
I learned Teresa Giudice and I are both Gemini-risings. But other than both having brown hair and a couple kids, that’s where our similarities end. And don’t even ask how I know that I’m a Gemini-rising.
Amber Marchese is afraid to do the reading because she thinks astrology is against her religion, being that she’s a “devote” Catholic and all. Rosie Pierri tells Amber, her visible bra and giant cross necklace, that it’s fine – God won’t notice and neither will the Pope!
After serving her 15 month prison sentence, Teresa said she does not feel she’ll come back to RHONJ – instead opting for greener reality TV pastures. After 6 seasons, most of them showcasing how absolutely nuts she is, Teresa admitted to a love-hate relationship with the show. It made her a household name and gave her plenty of opportunities, but also, in a sense, caused her family to implode, destroyed friendships, and to hear her tell it – may inadvertently be responsible for her legal troubles. I mean, it’s not like Teresa is responsible for her actions. DUH
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Scheana Marie just always hopes things will different. She just always hopes that her lovely co-stars on Vanderpump Rules will be better people than they are … you know sort of like she is! And Scheana is great – so great Stassi Schroeder is jealous of all the amazing things happening in her life. Definitely jealous of her singing career!
Stassi has outgrown everyone now, but Scheana, bless her heart, doesn’t understand what happened – Stassi used like her, right?! Wrong – what happened was that Stassi never liked Scheana or cared about her – but Scheana just doesn’t get it. She just wonders if Stassi wants her life?!
“I would never want to say that someone’s jealous of me and sound conceited but I think that everything I’m getting in my life right now is what she’s looking for,” Scheana explains. “So I think she’s maybe jealous of where my life’s going because she wants nothing more than to get married and have babies and have that happy life.” I think Stassi is just jealous of Shay, that magical, majestical manlump.
Brandi admits to the slap, but swears Bravo made it look a lot worse than it was! “I swear they added a sound effect to it! I might have been there and I don’t think it was like that!” Brandi won’t reveal what prompted her to lash out (RHOA’s success?!) – nor will she spill whether or not Lisa retaliated!
Is this a case of art imitating delusions or hope imitating art? Kenya Moore just announced that she’s working a sitcom called ‘Life Twirls On‘ based on her experiences. And for that Kenya is getting married… On TV!
Kenya, wearing a wedding gown, announced a casting call for extras to appear as guests in the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star’s sitcom wedding. In which the groom is just as fantastical, MIA, and invisible as they are in real life!
“Obviously any news that is hurtful or horrible to hear is so upsetting,” Gia admits. But she is confident they’ll be fine in the end. “My family is probably one of the strongest families I know, so we’ll get through this.”
No matter what, the pre-teen who grew-up on Real Housewives Of New Jersey, maintains an optimistic outlook.”When it’s over, we’re gonna be better than ever. It’s gonna be OK,” Gia says.
It’s no secret that Porsha Williams and Kenya Moore despise each other – and despite Apollo Nida admitting that he lied about Kenya propositioning him in LA, Porsha isn’t so sure we’re getting the whole truth. But one thing she is sure of is that she and Kenya will never be friends!
Oh lord, Porsha is about to be called the ultimate “slut-shamer” because despite what we’ve learned she’s questioning some facts – and unabashedly defending Phaedra Parks‘ “Whore-Moore” reaction.
“When this whole affair took place two years ago, even though I wasn’t that close to Phaedra at the time, I felt her pain. I know what it is like to be with someone who isn’t faithful. I can’t imagine how it must have felt to think your husband is possibly sleeping with a co-worker or being inappropriate,” the Real Housewives Of Atlanta extra says. (“Affair?)
Karen Gravano left Mob Wives over contract disputes, but after seeing how dark, fake, and bitchy last season got – especially towards her old friend Renee Graziano, she decided she had to return to show these girls who a real gangster is.
“The show is called ‘Mob Wives‘, not ‘Fake Wives’! And watching those new girls from Philly come and pop all their s— and talk, like, disrespectful to Renee was just a little hard for me to watch,” Karen quipped. “And I figured, I’d show them the realest b—- is back.”