Things begin with Heather Dubrow being ridiculous. Apparently Heather just cannot possibly attend Lydia's salsa party if AlexisBellino is there given that Alexis is like soooo fake and phony and faux and everything horrible. Lydia encourages Heather to try and make amends with Alexis and call her so they can put their differences aside. Lydia calls herself the "Friendship Whisperer." If this woman starts teaching classes and writing how-to books about training people to curb their aggression using treats I think I might explode.
After much twisting of the Chanel pearls ('cause costume jewelry is only acceptable if it's Chanel) Heather concedes she will be the bigger person and call Alexis. Lydia lets out a squee.
Like, ZOMG! Gretchen Rossi is like a real live designer and to prove it the bikini she was rocking while she tantrumed and sobbed in last week's Mexico last week has sold out!
The Real Housewife of Orange County star took to Facebook to share the amazing news and let us know that if we missed out on the opportunity to nab some Gretchen Christine Booty Sequined Butt Floss, there is more on the way! I wonder if I can nab a free one as a Reality Tea perk?
"Omg! Cannot believe the suit I'm wearing in this picture completely sold out nationally and at swimspot.com a few days after I wore it on #RHOC in Mexico! What a testament to how amazing my fans and customers are!," Gretchen wrote. "So glad you guys like Lisa's and my designs! Other styles still available in this material! @luxebylisavogel #gretchenchristinexluxe #styles4allbodytypes"
Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!!
Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense.
Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?!
The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey have a new story to peddle this season – they're all getting along. Finally! In a new interview the entire cast sits down to discuss how they deal with the show, what's happened to bring peace, and remind us that there is still much, much more drama to come.
Oh they also talk cheatin' spouses…
"It's crazy when it comes on because there's a lot said that you don't see that's filmed, and then we've come so far from where we were in the beginning, so it's very hard to rewatch the beginning but you just have to remember it was before the makeup and before everything got better in all of our situations," Melissa Gorgatells the Associated Press.
In her first installment, Kim talks about her friendships with both Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita, and of course hints at some major upcoming drama. Yay!
"At the beginning of last year my mother was diagnosed very suddenly with lung cancer. It was one of the hardest times in my life I have ever had to go through. Both Teresa and Jacqueline were there for me every step of the way during that horrible period," Kim begins.
Well now that she has her new spinoff, Rich People Problems, to promote and an upcoming book, Secrets Of A Southern Belle, Phaedra is out of hiding and dishing on RHOA drama, her behavior last season, and a certain someone's upcoming wedding!
Phaedra shares that of course some of her colleagues reached out to her post-birth. "Kandi [Burruss] and Todd came to the hospital," Phaedra tells TooFab. "Cynthia [Bailey]has talked to me several times since giving birth. And Porsha [Stewart] sent a wonderful gift."
On last night's episode of Don't Be Tardy, our favorite wig-wearing delusionite came up with a new reason for why she can't do anything for herself.
Apparently Kim Zolciak now has ADD and it's the all the fault of that pesky birth control chip known as the IUD. So what's a lady of the wigdor to do? Yank it out in the powder room all by herself, y'all! Don't Be Classy!
Things begin with Kim at home roaming around pretending to be busy while the nannies hover in the corner just to the left of screen. In the meantime Brielle is doing everything possible to get Kim's attention while Kim talks about herself and pretends she's sooooooooo busy. Brielle says that now that Kim is married to Kroy Biermann and dealing with the boys she feels like she never gets anytime with her mom alone.