Last night was the hour-long season finale of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, which means it was 60 whole long minits (57 if you do math like Mama does) of kuntry-kussin and hollerin! Anna finally had Kaitlyn, Honey brought the sass in a last-minute pageant, and freaking gnats drove everyone waving, slapping, shushing, cussing, flapping crazy.
So it all started out innocently enough. Mama had the grand idear of doing a famlee photo shoot in 100 degree heat down by the boat water. So they all trundle down these big rocks – even super prego Anna – to pose as the four sisters while Mama stands under the bridge directin' things. Everybody has dressed up – which means even Mama put on some make-up and I must say she looks sweet. Family star Alana is dressed to the nines, but she left her A-game pageant attitude back at the convenience store down the road cause she was crotchety all day. And she got mud alover her clothes within five minites of gettin' thayre.
Alana says she doesn't do well with heat. After much bickering and Sugar Bear showing up in a t-shirt, claiming he only dresses up for funerals – the family gets some cute photos. The photographer has already changed her number just in case they ever call her again. She just doesn't have the stamina for Boo Boo bickering. Apparently holding hands and walking together was the most challenging part of the day for them – getting along, unlike couponing, is not their strong suit. I think they should make those free family coupon books – like, 'This coupon is good for one free hug.' Remember those?
Hey y'all! It's time for your daily Teresa Giudice round-up! So in today's exhaustive report we'll discuss how Teresa is possibly getting a spinoff, how she never yanked Melissa Gorga's arm at a children's birthday party, and how she had a breakdown following the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. We've also got some EXCLUSIVES from our source on Teresa's possible spinoff and her brother-in-law, who seems like quite the scandalmonger.
Oh – and Jacqueline Laurita is all on the tweeter again (I swear she's the internet's number one twit) responding to Teresa'saccusations on Anderson Live yesterday. If you recall, Teresa accused Jacqueline of sending her harassing texts and mentioned she wanted to go to the cops because it gave her chills. Well if Teresa can go to the cops, Jacqueline can too! So HA!
Ok – so this morning I made a trip down to Anderson Live where I was the guest live-blogger of the day. Which is awesome. Kellie Pickler, who is cute as a button and sweet as tea, was the co-host with Anderson. She could not be more adorable, more gracious, or more kind to the fans.
Kellie spent every break walking around the audience engaging with people, talking about life, and just being awesome. I snagged a super secret photo of her being sweet and that is below. Shhh…don't tell Anderson's producers. #instagram
Also, Kellie is itty-bitty in real-life and she proudly displayed her newly shaved head, which looks fantastic (and she does have a perfectly round head). She seems 100% genuine and down-to-earth. Unlike some of Anderson's reality star guests who I'll get to in a minute.
So, now for the news you've all been waiting for: Teresa Giudice! As you know she was the other guest. And since Real Housewives of New Jersey has dominated my life for what has now been the last six months I was super SUPER excited to meet the lady, the myth, the legend in the flesh.
November is going to be a busy month for Bravo.Real Housewives of Atlanta returns and NeNe Leakes has gotten even bigger than her too big for her britches status – especially since Kim Zolciak has allegedly been demoted to 'friend of the Housewives' status! Buuurn!
Last night on Real Housewives of New York somebody got diarrhea! Isn't that a fantastically mature and classy storyline for a show supposedly about the upper-echelon of New York society. The thing about Housewives that happens is they burst onto the scene and present all these admonitions about how people should behave and why – meanwhile never quite behaving that way themselves. It's a curious phenomenon, one explored over and over again without pause.
Pinot Singer can't stop with her pinographies on how she's as lucid as the wine is white and the trash is not. And MevivaDrescher can't stop with her mespousing about how everyone is wrong and she is the definition of the right of the right. Unbutton your top button Meviva, have a glass of wine (a Xanax might put you over the edge) and accept that crazy can't even be managed by Nurse Ratchet and she had far sturdier shoes than you. Although, I'll hand it to Meviva – she put that education to good use and her lawyer-y skills were out and abundant over the tea that scalds and burns.
And in other news Aviva's father George returned. And yeah, please go back from whence you came.
Taking to their twitter pages, the ladies all posted their reactions as well as tons of photos! Some people got dressed in the dark, clearly. Andy Cohen announced that the reunion was filmed in an "art deco fantasy land in Manhattan."
According to the Huffington Post none of the ladies know the location of the reunion until they arrive! "None of the cast members know the location of the taping,” a Bravo insider shared. “They have been told cars will pick them up from their apartments early tomorrow morning and take them to the secret venue to get hair, makeup and dresses."
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR PHOTOS FROM THE REUNION!
First of all I have to admit I spend way WAY too much time analyzing the antics of the Housewife. They are an odd specimen, aren't they? And Real Housewives of New Jersey in particular. Although those ladies leave me wanting to turn into Pinot Fabulous Singer and just get sloshied all day, I have to admit they really keep it interesting from the psychological perspective.
Which leads me to last nights FINAL season finale of RHONJ. And out it all came like projectile vomit. Except I was left with way more questions than I had to begin with. I mean will I ever get the answers I'm looking for or will I die questing to know what exactly happened at the infamous S4 Posche Trashion Show? I guess if I can ever manage to get stranded on a desert island with Teresa Giudice I might learn the truth, but until then all I'm left with is an an aneurysm from wonder and a seriously large bill for TherapyByBravo. You're paying for this right @bravo_andy?
It is not often that a Housewives show rivals that of a Shakespearean drama with so many higher level plot points circulating around. I literally feel dizzy. Bravo has truly outdone themselves, but they've also truly over done themselves and I don't think they can ever come back from the edge with this one.
Real Housewives of New Jersey has been like the black plague this season. It's been all dark, dreary, and depressing. And just when things were starting to get semi-good between some of the castmates the annual Posche Fashion Show – the epi-center of all things drama on RHONJ – showed up and all went to hell in a handbasket!
Well, apparently the fourth season will be the last for the PFS (what will Kim D do with her life now?) as Bravo is not filming it for the fifth season! Despite the fact that the show will happen on October 2nd at THE BROWNSTONE of all places, Bravo cameras will be absent according to NorthJersey.com because they have no idea what ladies will even be returning for season five!
EEERRRK! Hit the brakes! Didn't MelissaGorga just complain about Teresa Giudice continuing her friendship with Kim D after she caused all that drama in her life? But Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita get a pass? Well, I guess family is family and co-stars you aren't really friends with but pretend to like for the sake of a storyline on your reality show are another thing. BTW, Jacqueline wore a top from Posche in her People cover. I can't keep up with these ever-changing pseudo-friendships!