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Well that was certainly shocking wasn’t it? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County had it all. There were princesses, and puppies, and inappropriately placed speeches, and engagement rings, and diarrhea, and luxury bathrooms where champagne happened but diarrhea did not, and trains, and surgery, and there was also that fight where Briana Culberson called Vicki Gunvalson out on having an emotional affair. Yeah – so how ’bout that bombshell? Whew… I’m still speechless!

So where do we begin with these fine orange specimens of botoxed, bleached glory? Oh, yes we start at the Barbie-ests of them all’s house – Princess Alexis von Nosenjob Boobersmidts Tannorexia of Rent-a-mcmansions (aka Alexis Bellino) She’s a stunning example of a queenly and dignified life. Princess Von Boobersmidts is on the precipice of the entertainment event of the year. The grand gala of puppies and princesses. A ball where all the fairest, and grandest, and “wealthiest” come from miles around. Descending down the steps of their giant SUVs covered in glitter and filled with fillers. Oh, it’s an event to say the least.

Yes, Alexis is throwing a princess puppy party for her four-year-old twin daughters Melania and McKenna. Alexis has assistants and party planners and movers shuffling around giant ornate over-stuffed hideous rent-a-couches in order to make room for the bevvy of puppies that will be dropped onto the scene the next morning. In the middle of all of this our very busy princess takes a break for a statelyevening ritual… spray tanning. She’s so busy, but a lady is nothing without her orange glow.

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This past weekend Briana Culberson walked down the aisle with husband Ryan Culberson. Mother of the bride, Vicki Gunvalson called the affair beautiful and wonderful. Which is a far cry from the adjectives “disgusting” and “embarrassing” – which is how she described their elopement!

“I am proud to announce this past weekend we celebrated a beautiful destination wedding with 75 family members and their closest friends. It was a beautiful ceremony and celebration filled with love, dancing, and wonderful food,” the Real Housewives of Orange County star wrote in her Bravo blog. Reality Tea was able to obtain photos of the event!

CONTINUE READING FOR EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF BRIANA’S WEDDING!

Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes is definitely moving onto bigger and better things! Ever since her vitriolic and frankly crazy stint on Celebrity Apprentice, the ever so demure Mrs. Leakes has been getting some major cred for her overly dramatic ways!

Glee creator Ryan Murphy seemingly loves him some NeNe (just like Andy Cohen does!) and he has cast her in a recurring role for his newest sitcom, The New Normal. A trailer was just released for the NBC show, which is likely to be a hit.

With all of NeNe’s new-found success away from the venue of reality TV, I have to wonder if her days as a reality star are numbered. Rumor has it NeNe has been making a lot of demands in order to remain on the show – including stipulating who gets the job as a new housewife.

Further cementing that she may be soon abandoning Housewives for the big leagues, NeNe recently attended the extremely shi-shi American Ballet Theater Spring Gala at The Metropolitan Opera House. Hopefully she didn’t get into any altercations. A photo of NeNe at the gala is above!

[Photo Credit: C.Smith/WENN.com]

WILL YOU BE WATCHING THE NEW NORMAL? ARE NENE’S DAYS ON HOUSEWIVES NUMBERED?

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Slave Smiley has repeatedly denied being employed by his girlfriend Gretchen Rossi - he has also never really revealed where exactly he is employed. Back in his heyday when he was an American Express Black Card holder and kind of a big deal in the OC, Slade was a business man of sorts. Well when the economy tanked so too did his career prospects which began his rather unlucrative venture of latching onto the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County!

As of recently, Slave has seemingly been acting as Gretchen’s manager of sorts and now he – or rather Gretchen – is campaigning for a stint on Celebrity Apprentice!

Yesterday some delusional admiring fans mentioned that Gretchen should be CA’s next Housewives member, Gretchen suggested Slave would be better suited for the gig (she, herself, is angling for a spot on Dancing With The Stars) and henceforth a Twitter campaign going by the name #Smiley4Apprentice popped up. Good lawd… help me.

There don’t seem to be too many takers so far, but never underestimate the power of a hashtag!

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On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After, the Skinnygirl team headed to Aspen for the launch of Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmo. Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy continued to wrestle over whether or not Jason should work for Skinnygirl and Bethenny got a reminder of what it was like to be single and twenty-two again.

Things begin, oh I don’t even know where they began? What were they even doing? Oh that’s right… hanging out on the street corner! Which seems as close to Bethenny‘s natural habitat as a cougar in the city can get! Bethenny is buying art for the new apartment and congratulating herself on being such a renegade, so cutting edge. She spends thousands – ON STREET ART! No one rich in the history of the world has ever done that. Well, at least according to Bethenny’s revisionist history.

Bethenny buys a American Flag painting. I’m not sure why. It was hideous and looked like it was a papier-mâché accident. I kept waiting for her to try and commission one with the Skinnygirl logo on it. Which actually would’ve been neat. She could hang it in the office.

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The ladies of Basketball Wives have been working overtime to secure their infamy. And despite a lawsuit, celebrity complaints, sponsor boycott, fan uprising, a former castmember speaking out, and a very popular online petition – the show has been renewed for a fifth season! Shocked? Yeah, me too! No word on whether or not Jennifer Williams will be included in the cast!

All hope is not lost as the producers seem to be listening to fans and promising less chaos and violence in the upcoming season. Shaunie O’Neal faced criticism about the direction the show has been going in at this season’s reunion, which was taped this week. Shaunie swears she’s been campaigning for a less violent show all along and now the network is finally listening to her. Yeah, Right!

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Ahhh… Melissa Gorga… back in the press defending yourself. Last year it was stripper allegations, this year it’s financial woes! The Real Housewife of New Jersey star fell under scrutiny when she and husband Joe Gorga listed both their Montville, New Jersey mansion and their shore house for sale last week. Melissa claims the couple is just ready for a change and it has absolutely nothing at all to do with speculation that they can’t pay the billz!

“The rumors that Joe and I can’t afford our mortgage payments and bills are 100 percent false,” Melissa told The Huffington Post. “Since when does selling your house mean you are broke?” Well, I can think of a time or two that it has, I’m not saying this is one of them. I’m just saying it happens!

Melissa, herself, told Reality Tea that she and Joe have always been financially stable and there is absolutely no validity to the rumors, citing proof that their mortgages have always been sound. Melissa’s publicist provided documentation to Reality Tea which directly proves Melissa’s statements about their home ownership.

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Alexis Bellino is everybody’s favorite ditzy, delusional, hypocritical Jesus Barbie and together with her husband Jim Bellino they have provided countless hours of amusement to us fans. Well, unfortunately, that may soon come to an end!

LA Late News is reporting that Jim and Alexis may be leaving Real Housewives of Orange County! Which would break my heart, I swear it! Jim has been repeatedly negative about the show: refusing to film, then refusing to appear with the other women on the show, then agreeing to film in diminished capacity while doing a weekly blog speaking out against the editing, the storylines, and the other Housewives.

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