This week's installment continued to focus on Kyle Richards and the evil, terrible, horrifying, life-destroying, totally not true in any way cheating rumors concerning her husband. Was anyone else thinking, "What cheating rumors?" until RHOBH spent 4 episodes talking about it? Anyway, in her Bravo blog Kyle reveals that she does not find tabloid lies funny. Even less funny – unsupportive friends. Everyone should be wooed into submission by her constant hair flips!
"Hearing 'news' about my family on TV or on the Internet is not new to me," Splits states reminding us that 65 eons ago she was kinda a big deal. A legend in her own hair mind. "However, this is the first time I have been in this position personally. I too have been guilty at times of thinking that there had to be some sort of truth behind these stories."
Kenya Moore is facing some serious heat from Phaedra Parks for her "whorish tendencies". And Kenya being Kenya she is not taking Phaedra's insults lightly.
Denying all of the allegations leveled against her the Real Housewives of Atlanta star insists that Apollo Nida is a liar and Phaedra is refusing to accept the truth. That truth being that Apollo is up to no good but Kenya isn't the lady he's up to no good with!
"Apollo could not get his lies straight," Kenya decrees in her Bravo blog. "LIE #1: Phaedra told everyone (Kandi, Cynthia, and Porsha) on several occasions that I offered fellatio to Apollo. Once again, Phaedra launched a slander campaign to paint me as a whore. Kandi [Burruss] confirmed the texts were platonic. She looked like the fool she is when Apollo actually said point blank that I never offered sex of any kind to him."
Last night on Vanderpump Rules everyone was obsessed with cheating that wasn't going on.
Things begin with Jax Taylor remembering that he probably would trade Stassi Schroeder in for another psycho. He's modeling for Kitson – male mooodleing is such chaaaaallenging work – especially when you have a famewhore girl model telling you how hot you look.
Actually what really happened is that she saw Jax's tat for Stassi and realized "easy mark" I could swoop in and have sex with this guy and he'd leave Psychossi for me in a heartbeat and then I'd get to be on TeeVee. ME!
Despite wanting Stassi back, Jax is a little vague about whether or not he's in a relationship. I mean I guess it's hard to explain that you let some girl carry your balls around in a pseudo designer bag and then you go vacuum her apartment every single time she gives them a squeeze. I mean the average stranger might not understand the deep and beautiful nature of their love.
"8th grade drama sounds the same 30 years later," Kyle tells Mauricio. You know it! Time for all y'all ladies to take a little Alice In Wonderland pill and grow the EFF up!
Things begin with Brandi and Carlton Gebbia shopping at Trashy Lingerie. Ahem. Brandi and Carlton verbally molest each other and gush about much they love beautiful women in an innuendo-laden crapfest. But neither of them are lesbians or something.
Brandi is buying lingerie for her non-relationship and wants to bury a crystal to evoke new love. How about bury the past? Not talking about your ex constantly might help welcome someone new into your life!
Lisa's integrity is also being questioned left and right – including whether or not she fake fainted on Dancing With The Stars last season. Well Lisa is fighting back by throwing some serious shade and also finally stooping to the levels of her co-stars and bashing them on Twitter. Well at least bashing by re-tweet! Hey the masses have spoken: Kyle and Brandi are behaving like super twats brats!
"I am disappointed but not surprised to see how gleefully Kyle initiated the conversation of my last performance on DWTS. It was as if they relished me being voted off DWTS," Lisa writes in her Bravo blog about the ladies discussing her in the limo on the way to Carlton Gebbia's luncheon.
Things naturally begin at a sex swing lesson. Kenya (rocking some leggings so tight I swear they had to be surgically removed and coochie crack was as well as booty crack imminent) has all her faux assets on display as she swings upside down. 'Weeeeeee! I'm gone with the wind fabulous!' she's cheering to herself when Kandi Burruss walks in.
Speaking for the masses, Kandi announces she is over Gone With The Wind Fabulous: "The wind is gone. It's blown away." Amen. Kandi demures participating in sex swinging because she sprained her ankle falling off some heels. The real reason for this meet up is investigative journalism. Kandi wants to know the true nature of Kenya and Apollo's texting. Or was it sexting…
Uh-oh… Porsha Stewart had a meet and greet with fans this weekend but after waiting…and waiting… and waiting… for her to show up many didn't want to meet her at all!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star was hired to make a four-hour appearance at a fashion show in Florida on Thursday night – and she showed up 20 (TWENTY!) minutes before the event was over!
Porsha gave event organizer Tankia Olivier a bunch of excuses says TMZ, including that her flight was delayed, her driver took her to the wrong hotel and that she had to change clothes. When she finally arrived, the event was pretty much over.