Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continued to glamp in the muck of Montana. The country air doesn't seem to be doing much to restore their constitutions, but it does seem to be causing them a great, aggrieved case of boredom. I have no idea how long they were stranded out there – alone, in luxury cabins, without butlers and forced to clear their own breakfast dishes – but one thing is for sure: Kristen Taekman is a horrible hostess!
It seems that Kristen can't do anything right. She can't make the air conditioner cool enough to quell Ramona Singer's hot flashes. She can't find someone to fillSonja Morgan's bed – and Sonja has resorted to wearing underwear. She can't get Heather Thomson to take her seriously or care what she thinks. And worst of the worst of the worst of all – she can't get anyone to Geocache!
Say whatever you want about pimpmomager Kris Jenner, but the lady knows how to make that money! Case in point – her daughter KimKardashian reportedly earned $28 million dollars in 2013!
With ratings for her reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians sinking, her fashions universally mocked, and her relationship (and marriage) to Kanye West constantly reviled, it's impossible to imagine how Kim earned that chunk of change! Are sex tape royalties that good?! Apparently not, but showing up places sure is.
The bulk of Kim's earnings come, not from endorsements or TV appearances, but sadly from appearances – that is showing up at a club, a store or restaurant opening, parties, or events.
After being missing from several intros earlier in the season, Aviva was back (and with her revolting father). Rumor was Aviva was temporarily fired for being a complete diva and refusing to attend mandatory cast functions.
The entire time the cast has been filming in Montana (yes – they're STILL there! #MostBoringHWTripEver!), Aviva has not made an appearance or been featured in the intro. Aviva claimed she could not attend the trip due to extreme asthma – asthma no one had ever heard of before.
Andy Cohen explains why Aviva's appearance have been so scattered and the truth behind her Scooby Doo style intro! "She's not in about five or six of the episodes this season," Andy reminds us.
And then Apollo Nida got indicted for fraud and Phaedra refused to comply with her deposition in Angela's lawsuit case. Angela's attorney has issued a court order demanding that Phaedra sit for her deposition within 45-days says a judge.
Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.
On last week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County an organic vodka courageous Shannon Beador took matters into her own hands to get to the bottom of some rumors concerning her marriage. Of course that meant barging into Heather Dubrow's house to demand answers and getting thrown out, but hey – a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!
As most of Shannon's co-stars are sympathetic to reasons for needed answers, Lizzie Rovsek, who was mainly Team Heather during the episode suddenly understands Shannon's motives.
"For me, watching the episode brought me more clarity to Shannon’s situation regarding the email from her husband, David. During the time all this drama was going down I heard everyone’s side of the story, but was still confused as to what was really happening. I didn’t know exactly what went down," Lizzie admits.