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The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan – executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life – knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.

As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile; if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.

Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace – but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.

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It’s not like we’ve had high expectations, but reality television has spawned some real fashion faux pas. And sometimes that’s about the only thing real on these shows!

At least all the bad looking clothes and crazy plastic surgery and on-screen and off-screen fashion antics gives us a reason to watch.

In honor of the very badly dressed and very badly altered, Reality Tea has composed a list of some of our most memorable fashion don’ts!

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Andy Cohen just announced that Bravo relies on the metrics of Twitter to gauge who stays and who goes in Housewives-land. So by that measure a certain red-headed Real Housewife of New Jersey should probably be fired, right?

A new rumor is circulating that Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita may be replaced by Heather Robinson, among others.

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Lifetime hasn’t officially announced it but, apparently, Project Runway All Stars is gearing up for a second season… of all stars. How many all stars do they have exactly?

PEOPLE spotted the soon-to-be-divorced, former Scientologist waxdummy, Katie Holmes filming for the upcoming sequel on Monday. Katie apparently made good on her committment to the Klumster and Co. despite also filing for divorce from Tom-tologist.

Katie will be appearing as a guest judge in the upcoming season – and according to regular judge and bean spiller, Isaac Mizrahi, “She did great.”

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I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve been waiting… Waiting for Vicki Gunvalson to finally confront Brooks Ayers‘ appearance on 20/20 where he was outed as a deadbeat dad. Dang, that was juicy!

Well the Real Housewives of Orange County star has finally spoken out and addressed the situation – kinda. Taking to her Facebook Page, Vicki wrote:

“I look at the iconic women who’ve had trials and tribulations in their lives, and “I don’t pretend to be an ordinary housewife” from Elizabeth Taylor comes to mind. I’ll address my fans soon enough and appreciate all your positive thoughts and comments. Love~Vicki”

Awwww…don’t drag my Liz Taylor into this mess. First, Jill Zarin nabs her jewels, then Lindsay Lohan ruins plays her in a movie role, and now this. She doesn’t deserve it!

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Ok, it’s that time again! Reality Tea’s Booze ‘N Books Club! With zillions of reality stars – and new ones popping up every second – and each one with something to sell, we here at Reality Tea decided to test out some of these fetes of literary greatness. And what goes better with books that are badly written than cocktails? So we thought we’d try something fun and review some of these gems!

Each month Reality Tea will be reviewing both a book and a cocktail. Last month we reviewed Teresa Giudice‘s third cookbook, Fabulicious: Fast & Fit and her Fabellini Cocktail. While the recipes and igredences in the cookbook were pretty good, the cocktail had me reminiscing about college memories slurping up the Boone’s Farm in a frat house. I was a classy girl, alright.

This month we’re honoring the OG of the Housewives franchises, Vicki Gunvalson and taking a look-see through her self-help/memoir More Than A Housewife: Talent! Purpose! Direction! Drive! Yep, that’s the title in its entirety. The Real Housewives of Orange County star wants you to know that you too can be an insurance megastar (and meet a winner like Brooks Ayers at conventions! Enticing, no?) if only you learn from her experiences.

I was hoping for some killer throwback photos of Vicki and co. in the good old days, but yeah there were none. We also reviewed the offerings of Wines By Wives. Now there’s nothing I love more than a bottle of red, but a memoir sans childhood photos? Not so much!

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Andy Cohen has finally spilled the beans on the firings that shook Real Housewives of New York. No, he didn’t have a personal vendetta against Jill Zarin – although that’s what she’d like us all to think. And no, Bethenny Frankel didn’t influence the decisions – research did!

Say what?! Andy uses graphs and charts to cast the crazy?! According to a new interview with AdAge, Andy credited research for the reasoning behind the firings. “We snort up research like fine Colombian cocaine,” he admitted of the Bravomeisters approach to determining what viewers want.

“I love Twitter because it’s a live focus group,” said Andy, explaining that one reason certain cast members of RHONY were let go was because of negative feedback about them on social media.

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Therapy Schmerapy, eh. Teresa Giudice and Joe G-to-the-Orga are clearly beyond help. Existing in a world where all versions of rationale just slip in one ear and right out the other. As Teresa so aptly put it, “I don’t store things in my brain.” Clearly.

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the siblings from hell attempted to see a therapist to mend their fractured relationship. I guess they don’t understand that it takes way more than one hour-long appointment to patch things up, but Bravo doesn’t have the time to be airing all that. We would be watching RHONJ season 35 if that be the case.

Now I’m no Teresa hater, I find her tolerable and she has redeeming qualities; one of which is her eternal optimism and goofball nature. I don’t know how the Gorgadice families got into this mess that has come to dominate my television and yours for the last two years, and frankly I think both Teresa and Joe, of the salmon colored button-down, told versions of the truth that make sense.

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