Oh dear! We're on Real Housewives War, Vol 2 million. Last week comedian Chelsea Handler had a rather lackluster and brutal appearance on Watch What Happens Live. She openly told Andy Cohen that his brainchild, The Real Housewives franchise, was awful.
"I think that franchise is kind of a terrible thing," Chelsea remarked to Andy. "Women shouldn't be making money off of the fact that they have fake books, fake vaginas, fake whatever. I actually don't support that."
When Andy reminded her that she'd had some Housewives as guests, Chelsea quickly clarified she had "one," Bethenny Frankel. "Not even Brandi Glanville," Chelsea pointed out.
"I love the Housewives," Chelsea quipped sarcastically. Ironically for someone complaining about how fake the Housewives are, Chelsea dear has had a whole lotta botox. Dang girl – surprised you can move that mouth slapped into the middle of a too-tight shiny face.
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.
Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice.
Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition.
Sean will be partnering with Peta Murgatroyd. He announced he's already living in L.A. and practicing in his dancing shoes, but with all the grinding he's doing against Peta I don't know when he's going to find the time to actually be engaged to another woman! Aaahhh… it's the Bachelor right?!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON, BUT BE WARNED FOR MILD SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED LAST NIGHT'S SHOW!
Adrienne was reportedly using the relationship as leverage to return for season 4, but producers were disinterested in the idea. That must of been the nail in the coffin for this publicity stunt relationship!
"They've decided to distance themselves and become friends. Nothing bad happened," an Adriennesource tells Us Weekly. "They're still going to hang out as friends, they enjoy each other's company."
And why not – Brandi is hot! Gerard confessed to the hookup on Howard Stern, of course. When asked if he slept with her last year, Gerard famously replied "Who's Brandi Glanville" prompting many people to accuse her of lying.
This time she stayed for about a week. As soon as she returned to civilization – if you can call twitter civilization – Jenelle hopped on twitter to get in a fight with ex-husband who still loves publicity her, Courtland Rogers for spending time with his babymama, Taylor Lewis.
Let's break this down!
First up, Jenelle flees rehab again:
“Jenelle just needed to spend some time trying to figure things out,” a source tells RadarOnline. “She doesn’t think she really needs it. She’s ready to live her life like a normal person not on drugs or dealing with the crappy guys who were around her.”
Last night the ladies ofReal Housewives of Atlanta took their bickering and kill'em with kindness values to Las Vegas where things got um… well things got as invasive as a gynecological exam. There were strip clubs, Bedroom Kandi parties, and a marriage intervention with Porsha Stewart because apparently being a prude is so last season, right NeNe Leakes?
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore swapping moisturizer (Kenya doesn't want to be called "ashy feet" again!) and discussing dinner the night before as they pack for Vegas. Apparently the two are now BFF… when did this happen? I mean that's fine but didn't they hate each other a few episodes ago and now all of the sudden Cynthia is the only person Kenya can trust on this show?
Anyway, Kenya doesn't feel comfortable explaining to the other women that the reason she and Walter Jackson broke up is because the whole relationship was fake to begin with and he was tired of people around town actually thinking he would wife that. Mmmm-mmmmm! Walter is not about to ring Krayonce. He is not some hillbilly Kroy Biermann who is going to get run over by the Gold Digger Express.
Ok, Ok… my cynical heart has slightly thawed because this is the most hilariously fabulous thing I've ever seen. LuAnn de Lesseps has some serious competition in the outrageously ridiculous Housewives music video department in the form of Kenya Moore!