Things begin with Miss WHO-S-A pageant waving as she leaves the courthouse after her eviction hearing. There's like 4 bored looking photographers standing around checking their watches as Kenya breezes out clutching her chest gasping, 'For meeeee?! Lil' ol' meeee?! Oh being famous… it's such a responsibility.' One of the photographers looks around and asks, 'I thought NeNe Leakes was gonna be here?' Jussst kidding, but you know Kenya called those paps herself and now she's trying to pretend she's A-list. Girl, that ship done sailed! She claims she won her eviction case.
Later she goes for drinks with NeNe to discuss their argument atCynthia Bailey's launch. Krayonce turns on those pageant tears to sniffle about how she has been displaced from her home and no one reached out like she's some sort of suburban refugee. NeNe shoots her a girl please look and reminds her that she's supposed to be a multi-millionaire producer, director, booty boosting guru, man-eating queen, so how can she be homeless? Kenya is like yeah, all that's true but I still need friends and none of you were there for me.
Kenya Moore is a special kind of reality star who will stop at nothing to twirl all over the situation and make it all about her. NOT! What I mean is just like most reality stars Kenya is attempting to carve out a storyline and some relevance. Gotta extend that 15 minutes, right?!
The new season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is bound to be dramaful, and it opened with a bang when egomaniacal delusionistasKenya and NeNe Leakes got into it. NeNe has been gloating all up and down twitter that she remained composed and kept her cool when Kenya grabbed her ear. And in rebuttal Kenya wants everyone to know she is "not afraid of the big bad wolf"!
“It’s like, look, if we’re going to be friends we have to deal with each other on an honest level,” Kenya explained to The Wrap. “This is what bothers me. I’m going to be vocal about it. My desire is that we move past it and we don’t have to deal with that issue again."
Well now the two former reality stars are not getting along! So sad. In response to Farrah's criticisms, Bethenny dismisses her as just needing attention. Takes one to know one!
"[I like to] have a conversation with someone that I think will show a different side [of them], and a different conversation, and reflect human behavior, but a lot of those people are controversial for a reason, and they like to be controversial," Bethennytold Wetpaint about her experiences dealing with Farrah.
Responding to the season premiere Brandi calls out Lisa for making a series of "little digs". I must have been watching a different episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, then!
"I was honestly shocked to see all the digs that Lisa took at Kyle [Richards] in this episode. . . .not to say that Kyle and I won't have many future digs for one another along our path," Brandi admits in her Bravo blog.
"But this one really stuck with me and I just found it so inappropriate: when Lisa was speaking of the Mauricio's cheating rumors in front of Portia, Kyle and Mauricio's five year old daughter!!! Portia is five and she and my son Jake are almost the same age. Let me tell you these kids hear and understand EVERYTHING that gets said to them and around them."
Aaaaahhhh Kyle Richards. Good ole' Splits, she obviously takes the lessons of Mean Girls' head bitchtress Regina George as gospel because she's starting off this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on the wrong Louboutin-clad foot!
Kyle admits that things with Lisa Vanderpump were rocky and she was anxious to once again try to work past their issues – until Lisa's Louboutin clad-food crossed the line! Lisa and Kyle had "not spoken since the Reunion last year" when they met in her kitchen to discuss the most illustrious parties to end all illustrious amazing parties: the Chamber of Commerce fete! All hail the great excitement capitulators in grey suits and one Kyle clad in a too-tight bumblebee dress!
"The accusations hurled at Mauricio were so offensive and calculated that there really wasn't anything to say. I said how I felt at the reunion and left it at that," Kyleexplains in her Bravo Blog.
"We have all had lies printed about us and we all know that when you are on a reality show and putting your lives out there this can happen. But we also know that the last thing we would want to do is bring it up to give these lies a platform and make us relive this again in six months — which is what I am having to do now."
Anyway, Teresa says she plans to continue with her career on Real Housewives of New Jersey and as for accusations that she's not taking her legal situation seriously, she said putting on a stoic face is all for the sake of her children.
“Look — every family has problems. Nobody’s perfect,” Teresa tells In Touch Weekly (does she have a contract with them again?!). “I have to be strong for my kids.” Yeah, nobody's perfect but most of us imperfect people manage to avoid allegedly defrauding the government of millions. Teresa and Joe have plead not guilty and plan to contest the situation in a trial scheduled for this February.
Well Vicki Gunvalson's latest court shenanigans should make for interesting TV!
TheReal Housewives of Orange County star was sued, un-sued, and then re-sued by her Vicki's Vodka partner Robert Williamson III. In response Vicki is not backing down from the man Brooks Ayersattempted to blackmail (and kill?) – allegedly – and is demanding a federal jury trial to determine who is responsible for the collapse of the partnership. Um…
Vicki claims she naively believed Robert was a competent business partner and that she was too trusting of his motives and behaviors. “Mr. Nicholson (Vicki's other partner) and Ms. Gunvalson believed everything Mr. Williamson said about his ability to help capitalize the business and distribute the vodka.”
Poor Kris Jenner wants everyone to know she's not the evil pimp momager we think she is!
Speaking to Joan Rivers on In Bed With Joan, Krisadmits to being devastated when the news of Kim Kardashian's sex tape with then-boyfriend Ray J leaked.
"I literally fell apart," the Keeping Up With The Kardashians mom admits. “I cried myself to sleep. I don't think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter."
Kris said that she withdrew for a few days before deciding to be strong for Kim and her whole family. And thus the Kardashian kingdom was born. Thank goodness for serendipity I suppose… "I'm somewhat a religious person – and I keep that to myself," Kris says. Lest you forget she owns a church… "So I live a certain way and I feel a certain way and I pray for my kids everyday. I'm so in love with my family life; and that hits me, you know, up the side of the head and I literally fell apart."