As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
Sometimes you see things on TV that are straight up embarrassing. Case in point: The ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s reunion. I may just go ahead on record and call this the most vitriolic reunion ever. Am I crazy?
Some things should be kept private – or at least off camera – but never underestimate the power of a desperate and delusional blonde!
Tmara Barney and Gretchen Rossi continued their reign as the over-the-hill trainwreck Barbies – and both their weaves had to come from the Barbie Comes To Life Wig Collection, sold exclusively in the Sunday morning coupon section of your local newspaper.
I assumed Heather Dubrow was brought on to inject a dose of class into this mess? Mission failed.
Didn’t anyone ever tell Heather you can’t reason with crazy?
On last week’s episode, Aviva Drescher‘s husband Reid – sarcastically, according to Aviva’s twitter – suggested Heather may be “jealous” of Ramona‘s success following her disastrous speaking engagement at the Learning Annex. Well, Ramona definitely didn’t agree with that. Oh, no – Heather isn’t jealous, she’s just insecure.
When reality TV friendships fall apart, all the skeletons come out of the closet and start dancing on some graves. The age-old adage, ‘Keep your friends close and enemies closer’ has never been so true than when a reality show friendship goes belly-up.
Following a tumultuous season ofReal Housewives of Orange County where friendships turned wonky, Tamra Barney and Vicki Gunvalson have it quits. But they’re not just quietly walking away; oh no – they’re turning to the power of social media to disparage each other something awful. Twitter – ruining the lives of C-List Celebrities everywhere.
Among the mudslinging and the allegations they are both turning on each other’s significant others as well. I have to ask: Is every man in Orange County a sleaze ball loser? I’m starting to wonder based on what I see on TV!
Last night on the Real Infomercials of New Jersey the Bravo Home Shopping Network was in full-swing. I see everyone can behave when they’ve got stuff to sell! We’re not stupid, Bravo, we know this was a filler episode designed to get some swag promotion before you hit us with the heavy drama next week. Too bad most of us were too bored to pay attention.
Now there were some positives to this episode. The Gorgas and the Giudices got along and Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga, dare I say it, seemed to be enjoying each other’s company and bonding! I like them getting along and I think it makes better TV. It really is time for both parties to let this feud die; it’s boring, redundant, and both sides are equally at fault.
Other positives, both Melissa and Gia had amazing performances at Beatstock. I know Melissa was lip syncing, but isn’t that standard? I mean doesn’t Britney Spears lip sync at a live performance?
Last week both Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler announced they were leaving American Idol to pursue their own careers. However, a new report claims they were actually fired in response to falling ratings – and Jennifer seeking yet another pay raise!
According to The Wrap, Jennifer who was paid $15M last season, asked for a $2M raise to return. In response, Fox said no way, declining to even make her a counter offer! As for Steven, Fox opted not to renew his contract as they are seeking new blood in the hopes of restoring the show to its former dominance in the music competition marketplace.
Could it be that the illustrious soon-to-be jailbird, Joe Giudice has vacated the marble and gilded encrusted manse the Giudice’s refer to as home? According to Teresa Giudice‘s former best friend Jacqueline Laurita - Joe and Teresa may be living separate lives! Maybe they’re practicing for his trip to the even bigger house?
In a new Bravo video, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star takes the liberty to spill some juicy (see what I did there?) secrets about the not so fabulicious Juicy marriage. Apparently despite Teresa‘s proclamations of true and everlasting love – and a rigorous sex life; things are anything but.
“There has been a lot of rumors out there about Joe and Teresa both leading separate lives,” Jacqueline shared. “In public they pretend like nothing is wrong, but…” Alrighty, so Jacs and Tre are really going for the jugular aren’t they? Can’t they just have a cocktail and hate on Danielle Staub some more?
After a never-ending casting speculation, filming for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is in full-swing! And the cast is already planning the annual cast trip. So where are our favorite uber-wealthy drama starters headed? Paris, of course! Cue shopping… lots of shopping. I want to seeLisa Vanderpump do some serious damage in Dior.
And because it wouldn’t be Housewives without copious drama, some ladies are sitting this one out. Namely, Taylor Armstrong. She’s been busy with other things like a ponzi scheme, but we’ll get to that in a minute. RadarOnline reports that Taylor is on the fence about attending the cast trip because she can’t afford to fly first class with the rest of the ladies.
“Taylor is still trying to decide whether or not she wants to go,” an insider reveals. “Taylor is just acting very sneaky and secretive recently. It’s almost as if she is trying to create some mystery around her.”