Marisa's Bravo blog about Monday's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode upset Yolanda, whom Marisa calls out for being "pristine" and "perfect." While it's not exactly a scathing critique, Yolanda obviously took offense because she lambasted Marisa on twitter!
Poor Marisa, like Yolanda, seems to be having trouble adjusting to all the catty drama and perhaps it's putting her on edge at social functions. The blog issues erupted because Marisa spilled wine all over her $5,000 white dress while in Vegas.
"I thought we may finally enjoy a dinner without a fight breaking out. How naive of me to think it was possible to have a civilized dinner with these women, right?," Marisawrites.
Last night on Vanderpump Rules we were treated to Stassi Schroeder's deployment of a new identity and further examples of her meteoritic dissension into crazy fameho of monstrous (monster being the operative word!) proportions.
Apparently no one at Sur ever leaves Sur. It's a vortex of incest or something and I am deeply concerned for the safety of their public restrooms. I would advise our poor Lisa Vanderpump to make STD tests mandatory among the staff. It is a matter of public health. Call the CDC, peeps! And get these souls on match.com – they need to date in the outside world!
So Stassi has left Jax Taylor for Frank. And Jax has a sit-down at the Barbie mansion-come-to-life known as Lisa's house to piteously cry about his egregious behavior in Vegas. For shame, these waxed and buffed specimens parading as menz took their shirts off and pretended to fight. That fighting was reminiscent of a New Kids On The Block video! And Jax still loooorves dear Stassi Staph Infection, but knows he must release her into the wilds.
Well since Bernie Guzman (aka Chef Bernie) is more desperate for 15 minutes of fame than I am for wine on tap and an unlimited french fry buffet, he's of course rushing to Adrienne's favorite tabloid RadarOnline to rebuttal.
“Paul is a 50-year-old man acting like a little boy,” Berniewhines. “He is trying to silence the violence and I’m not going to let him.” Bernie claims he is now the voice of domestic violence and he will fight this lawsuit.
Last night while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I came to an important realization. I now understand why these women never eat and how they manage to stay so thin. If every time you sat down at a dinner table a massive fight broke out wouldn't you have dinner-induced trauma and be reduced to guzzling wine instead? They probably all go home and stuff microwaved popcorn in their faces while standing over the kitchen sink and ruminating about the days before they sold their souls to Bravo. But hey – at least those size 2s fit!
Yesterday's episode was more of the same. Same arguments, same players, same storyline, same snarky recapper wanting to hurl things at the screen. It started out OK, as it always seems to, but then quickly degenerated into the congealed, fetid remains of last night's dinner. Even Yolanda Foster was reduced to drinking tequila.
Most of the girls were in Vegas watching in awe as Brandi Glanville's legs twined around a stripper pole and slid gracefully to the floor. "Welcome to Night School For Girls!" she announced popping up with 3/4 of her boob also popping out. Splits Richards makes an important mental note to have Mauricio hypnotized into thinking Brandi is a revolting, wretched, shit-stirring drama queen again. He must not fall under her spell!
“@kylerichards18 is about to kill me for twitting this photo but can you blame me. So beautiful,” Mauricio wrote. Kyle immediately freaked and told him to get that off the internet! “OMG @MauricioUmansky KILL. our kids are on twitter #notcool.”
Mauricio deleted the photo after a day or so. Luckily we're fast with the screenshot trigger finger.
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
SO, TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KYLE'S TOO-RACY-FOR-TWITTER SWIMMING POOL SHOT?
There is apparently never a dull moment when you are a cast member of Real Housewives of New Jersey! And there seems to be no shortage of enemies and people from Melissa Gorga's past threatening to expose her at any moment. Is this how CIA agents feel, too?
The latest person claiming to have salacious details about Melissa's pre-Poison Gorga life is her ex-boyfriend "Bryan". Going by the twitter handle @bulldog_nj, he is coming out of the woodwork promising to drop an "atomic bomb" that will expose her lying and double-dealing to get on the show and make a name for herself.
Um… somebody's about to get his charred chicken handed right back to him on a silver platter. And that person is eternal Adrienne Maloof mouthpiece Chef Bernie!
TMZ reports that Paul Nassif has filed a lawsuit against Bernie Guzman for unspecified damages, claiming the chef blackmailed and extorted him – and then slandered his reputation by falsely accusing him of spousal abuse!
Bethenny Frankel thought her divorce would obviously be as whirlwind as her marriage, a 'yeah didn't work out' and go about their merry ways kind of deal. But she forgot about the Jason Hoppy part of the equation. And perhaps embarking on a media tour to pedal her marriage woes immediately after filing for divorce where she asked for full custody didn't help things!
In response to Bethenny's behavior, it seems Jason is furious – and he is not going to easily back down to her demands! Please don't give her ammunition for another book, Jason! I beg of you. Source say the Bethenny Ever After star is shocked that Jason is fighting back – and she never expected him to raise a fuss.
"Bethenny thought she could just roll him over and get out with no hassle," a source close to Jason reveals. A new article by Us Weekly exposes their nasty divorce and Jason's determination to fight for both himself and Bryn!