It is a rarity to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New York and have any idea what is going on. With the constant insertion of Pinot Singer‘s insanity, I often find myself staring at the TV, mouth agape, simply wondering what the eff?
I generally put Sonja Morgan in the category of ‘nice person under duress’… I’ve pondered whether or not she has Stockholm Syndrome. My pondering is over… the former Mrs. Morgan is now co-captain on the batshit crazy train and headed straight to the asylum. I only hope the drugs are as strong as the delusions.
So last night I’m pretty sure viewers were left with many questions, the most important of all being: How is Sonja friends with a supposed super high-end important NY society people and who the hell let Pinot invade a party with her bad behavior, gross wine, and twenty-years past cute cocktail attire? Only a crazy person would allow that to go on. Where is the Sonja that demanded Alex McCord, her hideous dress, and her equally hideous manners get out of her house? More on all of this later, but first let’s start with Carole Radziwill‘s Christmas dinner.
Ahhh… Kardashians! It must suck when every person of importance or A List magnitude hates you. Oh, well – they can just soldier on pimping their wares and products that I suppose someone, somewhere maybe buys. I mean someone is buying this right?
Anyway, exciting times in K-Kountry! Kourtney Kardashian recently took to her website to announce that the Kardashian Kollection is making its international debut. That’s right they’re taking their polyester, bedazzled, besquined, leopard print harem pants and schmattas to the UK. God save well – everyone! Does the Queen know about this great injustice?
Sometimes, just sometimes, keeping things to yourself can do a world of good. For instance the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey could maybe, just maybe, not announce their every breath, snark, slight, and petty offense on Twitter. I mean they do realize lots of people see it don’t they? Which is the point, I know, but still c’mon. Quit selling your dignity for gossip.
So in the latest infraction heard round the world? interwebs? apparently Sunday was Antonia Gorga‘s birthday (another one?) and the Gorgas didn’t have a party because they may or may not ever have them.
Melissa Gorga says Antonia didn’t want a party cause she wants to go to some amusement park instead. But that’s not the point, apparently Aunt Teresa Giudice was accused of barely recognizing Antonia’s blessed day because she tweeted a happy birthday.
Aviva Drescher andSonja Morgan have already started the tepid steps to disband their barely consecrated friendship. Following a disastrous trip to Miami and Sonja’s friendship with Aviva’s ex-husband (the intrepid, blundering, moon-faced, womanizer Harry Dubin), Aviva has about had it up to [insert Harry’s disappearing hairline] HERE.
In her Bravo blog the Real Housewives of New York star expresses just what is so troublesome about Sonja’s relationship with Harry. Aviva is forthcoming and honest in her sentiments, which is quite frankly shocking (albeit) refreshing for a Housewife and for that we thank you.
“If I had a magic wand, I would have married Reid 12 years ago and had Harrison and Veronica as ours without having to share them. Sharing children with ex-spouses can be very challenging. It becomes even more painful when you have to pretend to get along with your ex around your children,” Aviva begins.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert – who I was surprised to hear speak last night.
Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?
Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.
Once Dina quit reality TV, her relationship with Caroline and sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita fell apart. Caroline has blamed Teresa for the falling out and Dina has vehemently denied this. On a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Dina discussed her current relationship with Caroline and why things went awry.
So last night on Project Runway meltdowns happened, two designers said sayonara, and based on some of the so-called work appropriate attire walking down the runway, some of these people have never led life in the real world.
Both Andrea Katz and Kooan said their good-byes by vacating the competition. Raul returned with a vengeance and continued to suck. The designers went to the Michael Kors store to learn what befalls quitters who aren’t bitchy enough – they pussy out and quit PR! They were also there to have it rubbed in their faces about what a big, flipping deal MC is.
So the designers had to create an outfit for the everyday woman on the go. She’s the girl who does everything – she works and cocktails and goes to match.com mixers, she does club hopping and sample sales and mommyhood and then she travels from Paris Fashion Week to Disney World to Kenya but she’s only allowed to have one outfit to wear to everything. So it can’t wrinkle, it can’t be uncomfortable, and it has to be versatile. So that’s like no biggie right?
Yeah – some of these people have never had a job in an office and apparently think all people everywhere work in the office from The Devil Wears Prada.
The guest judges were designer Rachel Roy – who always provides good critique and thoughtful comments – and Hayden Panettiere who was there as the celebrity cuteface.
The best part about this episode was the abundance of Tim Gunn providing actual mentorship and we need more of that. So thanks for a subtle small reminder of what this show used to be.
Since nobody cares about anything but the clothes, Reality Tea is providing you a snap-judgement photocap. C’mon you know that’s how you watch the show, too!