Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we got the answer to an important question: Who is Faye Resnick in this world? She is morally corrupt, desperate, ruthless, ill-mannered and really quite frankly a hot judgmental mess. Hey honey you got your camera time and you got to do it all while wearing a Barbie's Dream Collection seafoam Mother-of-the-bride inspired tacky-a$$ nightmare. No amount of borrowed David's Bridal will make you a lady!
I really wish I didn't have to discuss Fayded Retchnick at all on this blog because I don't want to give her any attention or satisfaction – which is exactly what people like her are looking for – but I suppose I have to. But before we are forced to contend with the horrible…
Things begin with Lisa Vanderpump and Ken planning their vow renewal. Lisa is nervous and cute about a public display, but she knows it means a lot to Ken. And most endearingly after 30 years of marriage you can tell they truly do adore each other and are blissfully happy.
Now that's she's quit her day job, Adrienne Maloof is investing her efforts in various business ventures. There are hooves and tinsels and purses as plastic as her mug – and there is also Zing Vodka, endorsed by Chris Brown!
Oh heaven help us! As if this show isn't bad enough, the Bad Girls Club is officially becoming The Baddest Girl Of All Time; aka a Bad Girls All Star Battle.
This summer 14 of the show's most esteemed alumni will return to battle it out for $100,000 and the title of the worst girl in the show's history. Hosted by Kim Kardashian sex-tape extraRay J, the ladies will be put through the test with "over-the-top physical and mental challenges."
Oh Kim D, love her or hate her or secretly relish in her antics as I do, it appears we are stuck with her! Kim is apparently returning to Real Housewives of New Jersey as a full-fledged housewife this season, earning her stripes with last season's stripper-gate set-up.
In a new interview Kim D is direct, to the point, and makes no secret that she is all about the fame and playing the game! She also has some surprising things to say!
Kim reveals that the show pretty much saved her business which was failing, pre-Housewives. Oh, you don't say? She is now opening a second boutique for all your NJ tackery needs!
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we dealt with the ghosts of fauxlationships past when Bravo the ladies did everything in their power to force a confrontation between former business partners boyfriend and girlfriend Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson. Much to my dismay, that did not happen. As a small consolation we got several delusional talking head rants from Kenya and one Kenyantrum.
Before any of that happened Porsha Stewart tried to navigate the nearly impossible task of taking a pregnancy test. EPT stands for Error Proof Test… until Porsha gets her hands on it! Girl actually thought you had to pee for two whole minutes instead of waiting 2 minutes for the results.
Porsha and Kordell poured over the instructions in panicked frustration for about an hour like it was a map to buried treasure. And Kontroll doesn't want to hire a nanny? Lord help us all… And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Porsha pregnant before? She has definitely done the whole pee on a stick song and dance. Anyway, she's not pregnant. And poor Porsha looked really sad to realize that once again the yams had not worked. All she got for her troubles was some orange poop and one completely apathetic Kontroll. Worst. Reaction. Ever.
Apparently Phaedra is even busier than we imagined! Currently pregnant with her second son, Phaedra is working on a book, her mortuary science degree, a possible spinoff, and is still active in her legal practice. Oh – and she's planning to return to for another season of RHOA! Dang lady, sit. down. Some excerpts are below!
On being portrayed accurately on RHOA, of which she has a remarkably relaxed attitude:
"What you have to realize is that it is television. Television is a medium for entertainment, it’s not a documentary, it’s for entertainment and I think you are definitely entertained," Phaedrashares with Complex.
"It’s an ensemble cast so you’ve got six or seven of us and you’re seeing a limited amount of our time. The show breaks everything down into 10 or 15 minute segments so of course it can’t catch every facet of a person's personality but it is what it is."
No-ching? This is one commission check it doesn't appear Mauricio Umansky will be cashing!
On last week's episode of Real Housewive of Beverly Hills we saw Marisa Zanuck asking Mauricio to co-list her inlaws' massive mansion! Well either that was just staged for the show or Marisa and Mauricio had some sort of business transaction gone wrong!
Marisa's infamous father-in-law Richard Zanuk passed away in July. As a result his manor was up for sale. Marisa and Mauricio agreed to co-list the stunning property for $23 million. The Wall Street Journal reports the property just sold for $20.1 million with Marisa being the sole realtor for the sale!