Adriana de Moura is just so sick of vintage. I mean vintage boats, vintage cars, vintage marriage licenses, vintage friendships with Lea Black. All that old crap is just boring her and she's tired of it. It so doesn't count if it's old and decrepit right?! Too bad Frederic doesn't agree. So that's the season premiere of Real Housewives of Miami; Adriana and Lea aren't friends anymore, everyone is wondering why the hell Adriana is getting married if she's already married, and no one is telling the truth.
Let's dive in! Nautical reference intended. Things kick off withJoanna Krupa pretending she's classy and all that by hopping off a private jet into Lea's awaiting town car. Apparently they became best friends in the off-season. I'm gonna venture to guess Roy (Lea's hubs) predicted Joanna was gonna lose it one of these times and need a good defense attorney. We also know Lea loves the crazy. So anyway, they're friends and Lea and Adriana are NOT!
Lea is hurt that Adriana has been lying about her marital status for years and not only that when Lea was getting her very elderly and hard working a$$ unduly handed to her by Ana Quincoces at last season's reunion, Adriana sat there and said nothing in her defense. Lea cries and Joanna pats her knee affectionately cause she hates Adriana too!
Alright let's dive into this whole Real Housewives of Orange County reunion thing! We've got Memory Lapse Monday happening here because Tamra Barney is confusing this season's storyline with one from two years ago. Did her shock therapy malfunction? Yeppers, Gretchen Rossi is back in the hotseat for cheating on her deceased fiancé Jeff with another man. Nevermind that NO ONE CARES CAUSE WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS FOR FOUR YEARS, we're rehashing it aaaagain.
So with that out of the way let's talk outfits. Gretchen is clearly bringing her little portable Barbie closet she had from childhood to the designer for Alexis Couture and asking for direct reproductions. All of her little girl dreams of sparkles, flounces, and seafoam fantasies are being brought to life. Seriously Gretchen is reliving my youth with that aquamarine number. I especially loved how she matched the side-weave to the one-sleeve.
Heather Dubrow's hair needs a deep conditioner and a good cut. Even though I'm sure Princess Champs On Ice probably pays $300 for a haircut, it looks like Gretchen played Barbies with Heather's head. Since Heather is the brown-hair Barbie friend Gretchen practiced "beauty school" with her locks. Result: fail.
Tonight is the season premiere of Real Housewives of Miami. In a surprising twist, Alexia Echevarria was brought back as a full-time cast member after taking a season off to help her son Frankie recover from a near fatal car accident.
Describing this season as “heartfelt…surprising…and explosive," Alexia expresses that she is "very excited" to return to the show!
"I felt like I needed to come back and tell my story and I'm thankful that I am able to participate full-time again," she shares with The Examiner. "I wasn’t ready to participate due to what I was dealing with, and I felt like that part of my life was kind of untold, and yes, there were bits and pieces that viewers got to see, and I feel like this season I was able to come back strong."
Ryan Culberson is feeling the unfortunate side-effects of reality TV and 15 minutes of fame. You have no secrets anymore, honey! Just ask your mother-in-law Vicki Gunvalson. #ToothlessGreekAffair #Threeway #CheatingWithBrokesAyers #PissyGunderpants
On the season finale Ryan got loud and abrasive with Lydia McLaughlin's 64-year-old mom Judy when she was *gasp* resting her feet on Vicki's brand. new. sofa. Ryan flew into an appetite for destruction rage and cussed her out.
Interesting, because Bravo has been promoting Christopher and Albie's latest project (Little Big Town) pretty heavily on RHONJ. Caroline has also pretty much moved out of Franklin Lakes and relocated to Hoboken near her boys. Caroline's storyline this season has been recapturing the love with Al whose unfaithfulness has been hinted at several times. I imagine the true subject of the spinoff would be starting over with the boys building a new family business and Caroline staying in the role of the matriarch.
Yesterday night Melissa Gorga was on WWHL. There she was cross-examined about the myriad of rumors that are her life. They don't call it six degrees of Melissa Gorga for nothing!
Among the allegations Melissa has been hit with on this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a cheating scandal concerning her ex-boyfriend Bryan. A few episodes back Melissa's former BFFL Jan met up with Kim D where she dropped a salacious bomb about what Melissa was doing early in her marriage to Poison. Here's a hint: she wasn't doing Poison!
Melissa denied it of course, and blamed Teresa Giudice for spreading rumors. Last night she denied it again and accused Jan of being after camera time. Aren't they all!
Our source chimed in to allege that Melissa is telling tall tales and Teresa is definitely not out to get her!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE EXCLUSIVE!
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was about reinventing the old and making it new again. Make new frienemies, but keep the old… one is faux marble and the other is faux leopard!
Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita made up and by that I mean they vowed not to appear at anymore reunions wearing dresses where the sequins turned into poison darts and and scream cheating accusations at each other's husbands. So by making amends they decided to keep each other's secrets…
Oh and Jacqueline shed her old stripper skin in favor of some new skin that didn't have washed up tacky tattoos on it. When did getting plastic surgery become a requisite Housewives storyline?
Things begin with Teresa and Jacqueline continuing with their "tawk". Jacqueline is clearly flustered because she forgot her translucent powder and her blotting papers. Girl was shiny as a gold lame and her hair was all mussed. Maybe she and Teresa had some sort of knock-down, drag-out, rolling on the table brawl and the footage was accidentally damaged when some Fabellini got tossed on it and that's why we didn't see it? That would explain Jacq's shininess…
With the Gorgadice families on the mend, the Gorgas and the Giudices strive to spend quality time together by taking a bus trip. HA! Unfortunately little pitchers have big ears and even less filters!
In other news, Teresa and Jacqueline Laurita continue to struggle with their relationship as Teresa confronts Jacqueline. Teresa also hosts a charity event. And finally, some of Jacqueline's decisions raise some eyebrows with Chris!