Last week Kim Zolciak‘s oldest daughter Brielle Biermann turned 20. Yes – it’s hard to imagine that when we met Brielle on Real Housewives Of Atlanta she was like 12, but now she’s old enough to have plastic surgery and get married.
To celebrate her mini-me turned BFF‘s birthday, Kim threw Brielle a surprise party at LA’s Fig & Olive – and made sure they wore practically matching outfits.
“Happy Birthday to my angel @briellebiermann I just can’t believe it!!!” instagrammedKim. “I just can’t believe it was 20 years ago today I became your mom! Scared out of my mind yet so excited! Had I known how easy it would have been to raise you I certainly would of had a lot less anxiety! I’m extremely proud of the leader you are, the heart you have and share, the love you have for your siblings, the respect, loyalty, and commitment to your family and above it all how you always have remained TRUE to you!! Keep shining!!! Can’t wait to squeeze you!! Love you oh so much!!! #HappyBirthdayBrielle #TheBig20.”
Ariana Madix is just one of the guys. Well, sometimes. After this week’s Vanderpump Rules episode found Ariana not just part of Tom Schwartz‘s bachelor party, but the lone dude, she’s speaking out about gender stereotypes and defending herself against accusations that she tries too hard to roll with the homies.
Ariana is offended by the criticisms, tweeting, “When some1 makes fun of me saying I try to be a dude or ‘cool,’ it hurts bc my ex always said I was not ‘girly’ enough. U be you, I’ll be me. k?”
“Mother of the year” Lisa Vanderpump is buying Max an apartment to reward him for putting up with the hooligans of SUR. And trust me – that is no small feat! Lisa and Ken spent $630,000 on a WeHo ‘gem’ that they describe as a dump, but I thought it looked pretty amazing and far nicer than any place I’ve ever lived. But alas, we cannot all be so lucky as to be adopted into pillows of Pomeranian fur, bejeweled British accents, and cocooned in rose-scented tea petals. Please note my official plea that Lisa save me from my middle-classdom.
On last night’s Vanderpump Rules poor Tom Schwartz saw the writing on the wall and it said “RUN!” First off, how stupid was the witch hunt over Tom’s two years in the past drunken Vegas hook-up and then Kristen Doute‘s insistence that this is the justified reason Katie Maloney is constantly mean and angry.
I fully agree with Tom Sandoval – that’s ridiculous, and Tom 2 is a “battered wife.” Now I feel more sad watching this. More sad-sad, even, because the only way Tom can tap into his own inner rage and express his feelings is while wearing a dress. Or being tortured by reptiles. When Tom 1 and Jax Taylor are the lone sane members of your collective friend group, things are not going swimmingly.
When normal children get a car for their 18th birthday, it’s usually some hand-me-down, but when a Real Housewife – particularly a very rich bitch like NeNe Leakes – buys her child a car, it’s a BRAND NEW JEEP!
Well, um, who needs a hot shower after last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta?! The ladies were on pu$$y patrol, but there was also slow motion stiletto strolls, butterflies, and some serious Diana Ross, the Studio 54 years, hairstyles.
After a dramatic ‘lesbian’ laden dinner brought the glamping adventure to an end, Kandi Burruss is too upset by the accusations to ride home on the communal bus. Or maybe she was scared she have to confront further issues? One person, Cynthia Bailey, is relieved to be away from pu$$y-related problems, but alas that escape will be short-lived and come right back at Cynthia like getting struck by lightening.
While Marlo Hampton, stirrer of trouble and bubbles, busies herself with selfies, Sheree Whitfield plots and ponders. Specifically she wonders why Phaedra Parks, one of the originators of the ‘Kandi hooks up with girls’ rumors, never backed her bestie Porsha Williams. But for now Porsha is willing to sit in the hotseat alone, except for her girls ‘Coco and Chanel.’
Obviously, it takes a special person to spawn the wunderkind that is Farrah Abraham. And that special person is Debra Danielsen. Which is why Farrah’s equally controversial mom landed her own MTV special, Being Debra.
As it turns out, Being Debrais about more than just bringing Farrah onto this earth or getting scammed out of thousands by online lovers – it means becoming a menopausal mama rapper, called Debz OG, who is in the process of starting her own record label to bring people together through music. I suppose Debra is just following in her daughter’s footsteps and blowin’ all the haters away.