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Lisa RInna's baggie of vitamins

Like the ziplock baggie in Lisa Rinna‘s purse, last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills had a little bit of everything, and something for everyone.

Oh Lisa Vanderpump – you saucy minx! I see your redemption campaign, smiling blithely, supremely feigning ignorance to any possible schemes, handing Dorit Kemsley a mirror and instructing her how to amputate her nose to spite her face, defending the maligned, innocent Kim Richards… I think Ms. LVP missed her calling in politics!

Last night had a tricky little moment between LVP and Dorit, didn’t it? Dorito had descended from her Nacho Cheese Delusions and spent the entire episode getting into my good graces, and also the good graces of Lipsa and Eileen Davidson, but in the last few moments, as if a switch was flipped, she all of a sudden turned a bit vituperative. Seeming to plant, to a scandalized, yet dismissive LVP that Lipsa is carrying around baggies of drugs. Now, before LVP could start alerting the police, Dorit was quick to add, as an afterthought that, the pills were “mostly” vitamins.

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Lauren Wirkus freaks out

On last night’s Summer House we met the newest housewife Jaclyn Shuman, and Do. Not. Like. So far. Sorry.  Also, Lauren Wirkus got a first glimpse of the sleaze-o-rama that is Carl Radke, and Kyle Cooke finally, officially, had his last bootycall with the foolish Amanda. Well that’s what he says anyway.

But first we must break-down the hot tub wrestling match that went on between Kyle and Everett Weston the night before. Ashley Wirkus has never seen water slash so high as when Everett threw it at Kyle’s slurring mouth. Ashley – you could walk to the beach which is probably like 8 feet from you. She crashes Lauren and Kyle’s slumber party to reveal the details of the fight. She’s shocked Everett got so worked up over Kyle trying to simmer down his argument with Lindsay Hubbard.

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Jacqueline & Chris Laurita - The Little Kernel

A Chris and Jacqueline Laurita bankruptcy update is finally here! The couple has been battling a legal case related to their former company Signature Apparel. The latest in the very long and convoluted legal situation is that the Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars are accused of owing their attorneys $290,000!

As a brief recap, in 2009 Signature Apparel filed for a corporate bankruptcy. The trustee, Anthony Labrosciano, contested it claiming they bled a profitable company’s accounts dry to live a lavish lifestyle, then filed for bankruptcy. Mr. Labrosciano filed a suit on behalf of the courts against Chris, Jacqueline, two of Chris’s brothers Anthony and Joseph Laurita, plus Joseph’s wife Adeline. 

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Jax Gets Roasted

Really Vanderpump Rules has come down to a Fund-Rager and a contrived roast of Jax Taylor, which coincidentally happened while Brittany Cartwright‘s extra-crispy mama is in town? It’s so contrived. All of it. And it really frosts my lipstick.

But first, it’s Tom 1‘s party and everyone will cry if they want to, cry if they want to – you would cry too if these friends happened to you! The boys really got the birthday shafts, didn’t they – the girls got trips to Montauk and NASCAR, and they get made fun of and forced to do charity work. HA.

Well, Tom turned an indeterminate shade of 30 and celebrated not by raising awareness for himself or his attuned and wrinkle-free skin, but by inviting all of his friends to donate their easily-earned money to charity. Kristen Doute brought her crisp $20, handed it to the collection emcee and announced that now she has full-license to be bad for all eternity in exchange for this one good deed. Jax didn’t have that luck – his card was declined when he tried to give a measly $100. His karma, as always, remains, in despair.

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Cedric Martinez & Lisa Vanderpump

Everybody remember Cedric Martinez? Lisa Vanderpump‘s Houseguest from season 1 of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? If you don’t, here’s a brief recap: Cedric was like family, but then allegedly betrayed Ken Todd and Lisa by lying about his family background to use them for fame and fortune.

Since being blackballed it’s been a very rough few years for Cedric – he’s lost Lisa’s friendship, and many other friends, and gained a bad reputation, which he says was based on a lie. Cedric spoke with Kate Casey on her Reality Life podcast and opened up about the drama with Lisa, provided some illuminating tidbits about how Reality TV works, and shared what he’s up to now.

I may not agree with everything, but I think Cedric came across with humility and self-reflection. It’s interesting stuff. Below is his story:

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Kenya

Well, Real Housewives Of Atlanta started out nicely, didn’t it? Of course, after Jesus fixed things up nice, it went straight down to hell in a hand basket over dinner! Get your prayer cloths and holy water to the fires, y’all!

I, for one, loved seeing Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore get their glamour and their good intentions on to drive to Detroit in a vintage convertible, letting the shade fly out the window like one of Kenya’s alleged weaves. Phaedra and Kenya are about to spend a week roughing it with children affected by the Flint water crisis at summer camp.

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Kenya Moore

Kenya Moore recently opened up about everything that’s going on in her world – from her situation with Matt Jordan, to some crazy tea about what’s to come on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, to why she’s the new queen of RHOA, and what’s the deal with Porsha Williams!

Speaking to blogger Love B Scott, they go deep into the psychology of Matt, and how it compares to Kenya’s situation with her mom, plus why she thinks some Housewives have SERIOUSLY crossed the line this season! “Honesty is key and I learned that very early on. You cannot fake for the cameras,” advises Kenya. “The cameras will see whatever it is.”

On Kenya’s “shit-show with Matt“: (as termed by Love B Scott.), Bravo only found out about Matt’s behavior the first time he broke the Moore Manor garage window. She first experienced his anger in Mexico, when they were dating for over a year.

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Phaedra counsels Kenya

Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore coming together for the good of the children?! Well, I never! The former enemies bonded over the water crisis in Flint, MI, and over absolutely insane relationships, and learned some surprising things about each other. As always, both Shady Phae-Phae and Krayonce are more than meets the eye! The Real Housewives Of Atlanta stars discuss their strange new ways in their latest blogs.

First up, Phaedra says she was “not surprised” that Kenya reached out to her for advice on the MATT SMASH! situation because.”It is no secret that my relationship with my former husband had and still has its challenges.”

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