Author Archive

James Kennedy & Jax Taylor

It’s almost like Vanderpump Rules is a sociological experiment on modern love, right? Every other day there are new cheaters to eclipse the previous cheaters with crazier cheating scandals and bigger liars, all compounded by the ever-shifting relationships around accommodating these facts. Can’t anyone get in the right pants? Or keep their members in the right pants, rather?

Take for instance the evolution of Jax Taylor and James Kennedy. They’ve both ‘interacted’ with the same women (Kristen Doute and Lala Kent), which created a palpable neanderthal assholian hatred towards each other – like crabs in a bucket – as they battled over being too similar, but now they’re bonding over how much they cannot stand Kristen. Which is hilarious considering neither one of them ever seemed to like Kristen to begin with! And now, of course, Kristen is trying to destroy Jax’s relationship with Brittany Cartwright. Not because Kristen likes Jax (or has any lingering feelings for him), but because she loves Brittany (and once hooked up with her) too much to let her be ruined by Jax. 

Cynthia Bailey is sad about Will

What did Cynthia Bailey ever do to anybody? Other than be too much of a push over? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was unbelievably messy and the poor unwitting target was Cynthia.

Attacking Cynthia is like smacking a bunny. Leave the girl alone to date and learn some tough-love lessons about getting played. Instead of bopping her on the head, her friends should pet her ever-changing wigs and tell her it will be OK. Clearly Cynthia habitually picks the WRONG men, and trying to teach her how to spot a scrub is not working. Even when she has a bonafide expert like Kandi Burruss at her disposal! 

Dorit Kemsley

I’m having a total about face when it comes to Dorit Kemsley. Actually, given Dorit’s confusing hair and wardrobe this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, I’d say she’s having a total about face about her own self! Something seems very off with her, and she’s driving everything to hell in a designer handbag!

Dorit lives in a fake prosperous world where she is your fun, eccentric friend doing zany but delightful things. The kind of friend who cosplays Erika Girardi (not Jayne!) and has NO idea how insanely insane she comes across. I think that instead I’ll just focus on Ken gently placing a newborn dog inside his shirt, kangaroo pouch-style, and softly holding it there until the puppy dozed off. It belongs on an Anne Geddes calendar, or in one of Lisa Rinna‘s bubbles of white light, because it was perfection. 

Luann de Lesseps

Luann de Lesseps is a free woman once more! OK, well, kinda. She’s home from rehab at least. After getting arrested in December for drunken and disorderly behavior, Luann checked herself into a 21-day treatment program for alcohol.

Luann celebrated her first day home on social media updating the masses on her progress and expressing her gratitude. “It’s good to be home. I’m doing great. Spending time with friends and family. Thanking everyone for your continued good wishes and support,” she tweeted. 

Meghan Edmonds Quits Real Housewives Of Orange County

Today Meghan Edmonds announced her decision to leave Real Housewives Of Orange County. After three seasons, Meghan says it was a “multi-faceted” and difficult decision, and one made with her growing family in mind. I think we all predicted Meghan wasn’t returning after revealing that she was pregnant with twins.

In her personal blog Meghan explained her love-hate relationship with filming and why she ultimately decided to quit and make the move back to St. Louis near family. Ironically, as Meghan herself writes, she is leaving RHOC, to “become an actual real housewife of sorts.”

Kenya Moore & Cynthia Bailey Habitat For Humanity

If there’s one thing Kenya Moore does not like it’s Porsha accepting responsibility. The Real Housewives Of Atlanta star threw a tantrum while in Houston on a charity trip, so Kenya is blaming her behavior on editing and claiming that, once again, Porsha Williams made her do it.

It’s no secret that Kenya had difficulty with production for hiding her marriage. After the episode Kenya took to Instagram, and accused “certain people” stirring up trouble and using charity for a storyline as the reason behind her outburst.  Hmmm… wonder who she’s alluding to?

Scheana Marie

There is nothing worse than a professional reality star. You know what I’m talking about, because nearly every person on Vanderpump Rules now occupies that position. They fakely (yes I know that’s a fake word) work at SUR, they’re fakely are friends with each other, and they fakely pretend to care about causing drama in each other’s lives.

To point: last night’s episode was an amazing pile-up of so many [mostly fake] car crashes, I don’t even know where to begin, middle, and end.

The only two interesting things that happened were Scheana Marie going on a hunger strike until Merriam-Websters changes the definition of “perfect” to include a photo of her and Rob Valetta, and James Kennedy having a full-fledged meltdown about the supposed double-entendre of “ate her pasta.”

RHOA Charity In Houston

It is the particular ability of Real Housewives to turn the doing of something good (or straightforward) into a giant diabolical mess of bickering, tantrums, and meltdowns. The Real Housewives Of Atlanta headed to Houston to do some charity work after the devastation of Hurricane Harvey but brought a new kind of devastation all of their own making. Thanks, but no thanks!

I don’t want to imply nothing of merit happened on this trip, but competing charity events in hurricane-destroyed towns, complete with all the accompanying Housewives histrionics, may be a new low. Possibly? Maybe I should try to be more positive and instead believe the ladies were so overcome with emotion from their good works and seeing people who lost everything that in turn they lost their heads? Naaaahhh.