So, do we think Brittany Cartwright‘s mama is going to be successful in her quest to get Jax Taylor into a church?! If so, will the holy water turn him into liquefied jelly – or will he start speaking in tongues?! Oh wait, he already does… Yes, an exorcism must be done on Vanderpump Rules, but shockingly, Jax isn’t the one who needs it. OK, maybe he does, but not as bad as some people…
So let me tell you a little story about a Three-Headed SheBeast named KriStasstie – if that sounds like a very weird food served in an eastern European prison, or a disease you probably do not want to contract from a monkey, well, it’s not far off.
This is the story about three women who have absolutely NO IDEA how unimportant their opinions are, and their self-aggrandized delusions about their amazing friendships are, well, sad. Really sad. Thank goodness we have the ‘boyfriend stealing’ Ariana Madix, of the dewy mermaid skin and evil eye to put them in their place. And their place is out by the dumpsters at SUR. Who knows…they may even be puking in them.
Stassi Schroeder had Kyle Cooke as her most recent podcast guest. Kyle is the blonde guy from Summer House who compared Stassi (in her turtleneck swimsuit) to Steve Jobs. “That scene made my year,” Stassi laughs. Kyle actually wore a turtleneck to the interview.
Apparently, Kyle is more than just a drunken womanizer! He’s a businessman who is starting an app to provide dating advice in 2017. Stassi quizzed him, and they dished on their disastrous ‘hook-up attempt’ in Montauk, some behind-the-scenes Jax Taylor gossip, and Kyle’s various business ventures. (Yes, he already has products for the Bravo Home Shopping Network!).
Kyle is very well-spoken and sounds thoughtful and intelligent. I actually enjoyed listening to his perspectives.
Kenya Moore returns home from Charlotte, to find her house vandalized. It seems MattJordan is made of magic carpets, because after driving ALL night to Charlotte where he harassed Kenya at Club One, he turned right around and drove all night back to ATL to smash in Kenya’s garage windows, sprinkle (was that juice? blood? droplets of rage?), break her car window and her back door, and spray paint over her security cameras. Dang – hell hath no fury like a man scorned.
Eileen Davidson had a rough time on last season’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, and it seems like she may be headed for another tough season, however the long-time soap opera star has no plans to pretend to be someone she’s not in order to win over the viewers.
“I just try to be myself. Sometimes I take the high road, sometimes I don’t,” explains Eileen. “People judge you no matter what. I’ve heard it all.” Similarly, Eileen defends her longtime friend and fellow Housewife, stating, “Lisa Rinna is who she is.” That she is – hustle to hustle…
Stassi Schroeder‘s latest podcast covers issues far and wide in the realms of reality TV – from how villains save reality TV, to Real Housewives, to how The Bachelor has changed. But the Vanderpump Rules star also discusses her dream funeral, high-stakes Instagram negotiation, and why she’s obsessed with Asian women.
Below are some of the highlights (I use that term loosely). Stassi’s guest is her friend, comedian Annabelle DeSisto. Honestly, almost every topic on the show came back to death of some sort, which is strange.
Things continue at Camille Grammer‘s Luncheon From Hell, which really wasn’t all that hellish after all. It kind of fizzled and popped, then went flat like day-old Perrier. What Dorit wanted to finish telling Eileen is that she feels constantly on the defense with these women. I feel like it’s true that Dorit is under laser-focus, but I also feel like Dorit is trying too hard, then imagines people are constantly scrutinizing her. Her affiliation with the sleaziness that is PK doesn’t help.