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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Yeah, I don’t care how much Kelly Dodd annoys the bejesus out of me (and probably Tamra Judge‘s sculpted patootie), Shannon Beador set her up at her 70’s partaaay. Which was not necessarily OK. And it was, well, ugly. Honestly, I think most of us, the Real Housewives Of Orange County ladies included, are gonna pretend Shannon is innocent on the principal of their dislike for Kelly, but the double-teaming of Jaci and Nina, three boobs, and a bull dozer, are all too coincidental.

And you know what they say: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck – it’s probably a Real Housewife training for a fitness competition and practicing in her lucite stripper heels! 

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Melissa Gorga opens Envy

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of New Jersey featured the opening of Melissa Gorga‘s long-awaited Posche revenge, Envy. A boutique dedicated to the many-splendored stylings of Melissa’s own taste. Teresa Giudice also proved that her and Juicy’s love is as real as the prison cell that holds them!

Poison Gorga seems to be confused both about which century he’s living in and that his life is not a 1980’s movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. You guys, men with sprayed on muscles DO NOT take care of their own children – they are not babysitters! 

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Dorinda Medley

Dorinda Medley recently did a Facebook Live chat about this season of Real Housewives Of New York. She showed up in a pair of $14.99 over-the-counter spectacles to dish on all the drama – including the reunion and Luann de Lesseps‘ relationship with Tom D’Agostino. Dorinda promises the next few episodes, featuring the salacious texts Bethenny Frankel possesses will be a major game-changer which will divide, not only the cast, but the viewers. Yowzers!  

Dorinda begins by admitting she doesn’t mind being the pot stirrer, because she’s pot-stirring with purpose by playing the role of “investigative reporter” (Take that Carole Radziwill!) to get to the bottom of all the “conflicting stories.”

“I may be a bit of a pot stirrer, but I’m just trying to do the right thing by all the women,” Dorinda explains. “I guess, I’m sort of the go-between… Each action I’ve done, I’ve done with a pure heart and good intention.” 

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Phaedra Parks bomb threat

Wowie! Wowie! While Phaedra Parks has been rubbing elbows at the Democratic National Convention, a disgruntled former client named, ironically, Drama, showed up at her Buckhead, GA, law office claiming he had a bomb! 

Yesterday, Drama, real name Terrence Cook, arrived at the building where he believed Phaedra’s office was located and announced, “I’m not leaving. I’ve got a bomb.” He was carrying a FedEx envelope and a book. He said he was “tired of being treated wrong” by the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star and had the bomb strapped to his leg. The police were immediately notified. Luckily, it was only a threat, and after an evacuation and thorough sweep of the premises no bomb was found.

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Carole Radziwill

Just so you know… Carole Radziwill is smarter than all of you. Why, you wonder? Well, because she gets paid to appear on Real Housewives Of New York, while we idiots actually pay to watch her. Therefore she can’t be boring, right

Carole got into an argument with some viewers on twitter and lashed out at them for being, well, viewers. I agree hate-tweeting is out of control, but get some blockers, and rise above. Remember, smarty girl, these viewers pay your bills! Also, Carole threw a dog wedding – who’s dumb now? 

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Luann de Lesseps & Tom

Real Housewives are at real war over the wandering eyes of Tom D’Agostino Jr. First, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan had him, but then Luann de Lesseps nabbed him as her fiancé.

Ramona called her Real Housewives Of New York co-star desperate for attention from men, but Tom says it is Ramona who is the desperate one – desperate to make it look like she had a relationship with him, that is! 

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Real Housewives of New York recap

Last night the ladies of Real Housewives Of New York headed to Miami. No one was very happy about it except for Luann de Lesseps who is eager for the opportunity to show off her amazing, transformational, earth shattering, soul mating love – again. Yes, I think the operative word is “mating”. With other Housewives that is! Which begs the question: are three Housewives better than one?

Since Bethenny Frankel‘s fibroids are acting up again, she couldn’t go to Hawaii, which means the entire trip must be canceled. That is some amazing Twatmatizing!

I understand why Bethenny doesn’t want to go, since sharks smell blood, but why can’t the other ladies go as planned? Bethenny can remain in NYC, get her surgery, and then launch Skinnygirl Tampons or something. We all know she doesn’t want to go, and none of the other women actually want her to go – except for maybe Carole Radziwill, who seems to have more fun sans Beth. Beth On/Beth Off – and Mr. Miyagi says you control your own destiny, Carole

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Sonja Morgan In St. Tropez

Sonja Morgan is on her annual European vacation with stops in St. Tropez and Majorca. She returned yesterday and shared some photos of her living the fabulous life! 

There the Real Housewives Of New York star partied with BFF Carole Ascher (Why isn’t SHE on the show?!), Ivanna Trump, and more of the jet set. Other than the beautiful scenery, there are beautiful people (hello models!). Kind of reminds you that once upon a time Sonja really did live the high life – no wonder she has such a hard time taking criticism from the other Housewives about her past. 

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