I made sure to wear my eclipse safety glasses while staring at the California sun, so I wouldn’t damage my eyes and miss seeing the drama on last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County. It’s a good thing too, because Kelly Dodd was wearing scrunchies on her wrists!
Last night was certainly a Me! Me! Me! episode – aren’t they all? – but this one was especially bad! It started with Vicki Gunvlason announcing that Briana’s uterus and Mike’s sperm belong to her! Cause Coto Insurance needs more worker bees to take over the family hive.
Aka, Vicki needs more grandchildren. NOW! NOW! NOW! Her sage advice to Mike is “date to mate,” as in he should only be sleeping with women he plans to reproduce with. Not before they sign a baby-nup, right?! I have a feeling Mike has listened to “Gold Digger” many-a-times and ain’t gonna get stuck with no 18 years. Either that or no woman wants to get stuck with Vicki for the next 18 years!
Shannon Beador wants us all to know, again, that she will never forgive Vicki Gunvalson! And after seeing Vicki mock her on this week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County, Shannon is “Done!” She’s “F–king DONE!” OK, just kidding – she’s actually still not done talking about Vicki, but she is opening a restaurant.
“One of my least favorite parts of the show is watching back what other people say about you,” shares Shannon, who failed Reality TV 101. “It can get quite frustrating and hurtful when people don’t accurately describe your intentions and say cruel things.”
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, enemy factions were forced to come face-to-face for the second coming, actually THIRD coming, of Jim Edmond‘s reproductive prowess. By that I mean that Meghan Edmonds hosted a Sip and See, and decided the theme would be World War III by Bravo: Bitter-er, Blonder, Boozier.
Vicki Gunvalsonlives in a world in which no one but her equally delusional imaginary friend exists. Vicki’s slip was showing and it certainly was not virginal white as she menacingly promised to make Tamra Judge and Shannon suffer for turning their backs on her, like this is that 90’s Tori Spelling Lifetime movie A Friend To Die For where the unpopular girl takes revenge on the bully cheerleaders. Ugh – if Shannon and Tamra are your aspirational friends, oh dear than you, Vicki, are more screwed up than Brooks led us to believe you were!
Since Real Housewives Of New York wrapped its dramatic season where Ramona spent plenty of time looking the fool (and not just because of whatever plastic surgery she did on her face), she’s admitted her behavior was “childish” and she has been making amends. “My intent is never bad, but my delivery always SUCKS,” she defends. “I really have bad skills when it comes to communicating.” Good to know the Pinot-pology tour strikes again!
“The wild thing is,” notes Andy, “[Luann] had just gotten all the other women in her corner and rooting for her. That’s what’s also really sad about this, you know? Everybody was on her team.” Then boom: marriage is terminated. Luann’s logic is apparently more backed up than the toilets at Villa Crumbles de Morgan.
Time to envy the lifestyles of the rich and wannabe famous whose job is being a real Housewife! Lydia McLaughlin is vacationing with her family on the Amalfi Coast in Italy and is sharing some stunning photos of the experience. Hopefully no one throws any plates full of pasta!
Sidney has since deleted the excoriating post (thank you Jesus it’s logged for all posterity on the internet!), however before it was removed Tamra rampaged through the comment thread to defend herself and act like Saint Holier Than Thou Of The Jesus Barbies. You can read Sidney’s full statement here.