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Shane is everything in the Big Brother house this week – HoH, PoV, and RSM (resident stud muffin). Shane had a secret alliance with Frank, so he targeted Janelle Pierzina‘s team for eviction. Janelle‘s sexual prowess gave her an edge in the (disturbing) coaches challenge. Janelle’s win saved Wil from the chopping block. With Wil off the table, Shane nominated Joe and Ashley for eviction. Whoa, shocker! Everyone expected one person from Team Janelle and one person from Mike Boogie Malin‘s team. The hamsters quickly scurried away from the nomination ceremony to discuss, celebrate, scheme, and/or plan their next move. Except for Danielle. She’s a challenged skinny hamster. She simply found her way to the RSM’s bed and refused to leave. I say “skinny,” because if I don’t say anything, she’ll assume I’m calling her a fat hamster. And I can’t deal with her brand of crazy today.

Janelle worked her magic and Ian worked his social awkwardness, leaving Shane feeling uneasy about Frank. Britney Haynes‘s, like, on a constant 2-day delay in the Big Brother house, but she eventually caught up to Shane’s thinking. At the PoV ceremony, Shane made a bold (stupid? it’s up for interpretation) move. Shane denominated Ashley and named Frank as the replacement nominee. Frank knew it was coming, but Boogie and Ian, who was blamed for the shake up, were blindsided. Shane told Frank that he wasn’t the target, the move was simply a numbers game to ensure Joe‘s eviction. Frank remains optimistic; however, the hamsters are counting down the hours until they can evict him.

Who is evicted – Frank or Joe? Will the coaches enter the game? (as if we really had a choice)

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The Hollywood Exes are off to Palm Springs. Sheree Fletcher takes Jessica Canseco and Nicole Murphy swimsuit shopping. She surprises them with her great idea to get away to Palm Springs. She’s hoping for bonding time and relaxation. Nicole picks out a purple bikini for Mayte Garcia. Sheree and Jessica remind her purple is forbidden. Mayte is “not allowed” to wear purple. Sheree calls Mayte on the phone to tell her about the trip and the bikini. Nicole says about the purple, “Girl, do not run from it! The more you fight it, the worse it gets. Embrace the purple rain around you.” It does seem a bit silly.

The house Sheree rented used to belong to Bing Crosby. It’s also rumored to be where JFK and Marilyn Monroe got together. Andrea Kelly says, “Sheree did very well finding this house. It’s absolutely beautiful. She should of looked on the map though a little bit longer because this house is in the middle of no-damn-where!” After a tour of the house, Jessica suggests cocktails. Sheree prays first. Jessica says, “It’s hot as balls out here. I just want to have a drink. And Sheree wants to make a prayer session out of this.” Prayer is done, drinks are poured, and the women are heading out to the pool. Unfortunately, on their way outside, they discover a cockroach in the house. Sheree takes off. Jessica picks it up. Nicole tells her to flush it. Instead, Jessica carries it outside. Nicole is like, why did you do that?!? Jessica says she cannot kill a living thing. This sets the tone for the entire weekend.

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Earlier this week, Jenelle Evans and Gary Head appeared in court to face the mess of charges they racked up following a weekend of partying in June. Gary Head was charged with assault on a female, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, and possession of a controlled substance. Teen Mom‘s Jenelle Evans was charged with simple assault, possession of less than one-half ounce of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance.

Jenelle brought old but new again boyfriend Kieffer Delp and Gary brought new girlfriend Claudia. Why not! They’re all adults, right? Keep reading…

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Last week on Teen MomTyler Baltierra tried to movtivate (pressure?) Catelynn Lowell to get ready for college, Maci Bookout, umm, did nothing, Farrah Abraham met Daniel, and Amber Portwood went home to Indiana after being in paradise (rehab?) for 60 days.

Catelynn and Tyler Take Care of April

Well, Butch is back in jail. April breaks the news to Tyler. April calls, she barely says one word, and Tyler does one of his overreactions. Sometimes, I feel like Tyler is merely playing a character that he thinks we think is cute and edearing. Anyway, according to April, Butch came by her place, looking like he was on something (you don’t say?!), and he freaked out on her. April tells Tyler she’s all brused up. Tyler texts Catelynn while she’s at work to let her know.

Catelynn visits April. April says she and Butch were just hanging out and drinking beers. Then, April’s friend called her, Butch assumed April was talking to Nick’s dad, and “one thing led to another” - April shows Catelynn the bruises on her arm and the hole from Butch smashing April’s head into the bathroom wall. The toilet is also broken. April claims Butch held a rolled up towel against her neck. April knows they shouldn’t have been together but… you know, you know. She says “you know” repeatedly. Catelynn tells April their relationship is toxic because they enable each other. April says, “But… I love him.” Then she says she hates him and starts crying.

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Maci Bookout and Kyle King are together on the Teen Mom episodes currently airing; however, the couple broke up in January. Since then, Maci took another Kyle, supercross racer Kyle Regal, for a test drive. She wasn’t satisfied.

Recently, Maci and Kyle King have been flirting and hanging out again, leaving their fans hopeful for a reconciliation.

So, what is the real-time relationship status of Maci and Kyle?

Well, where does one go for Teen Mom updates? Twitter, of course!

A Twitter exchange between Maci and Kyle suggests the two are an item once again.

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Bachelor Pad is back. Last week’s premiere mainly brought us super fan angst and a drunken Ed Swiderski

Tonight’s episode features the never-ending fighting between the super fan twins Brittany and Erica Taltos, a rhythmic gymnastics challenge, Ed‘s pickles, and a surprising rose ceremony.

Are these blonde twins for real? Their voices and fights are mind numbing.

“Stop yelling at me,” says one. “You called me a slut,” says the other.

“Stop yelling at me!”

“You did it. I cried. You did it again. I cried again. You did it againnn. I cried againnn.”

“Stop yelling at me! I’m sorry I called you a slut. I won’t do it again, okay? I wouldn’t have said it if I were sober.”

I have no clue which one is Erica and which one is Brittany. The others are saying how annoying the twins are and that they’re walking episodes of the Jerry Springer show. It’s a sad day in your life when the Bachelor Pad contestants are making fun of you.

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Cripes. Shane is a powerhouse – winning two Power of Veto competitions, with the second win saving him from eviction, and the latest Head of Household competition. If he stays for the duration of the season, he could beat Janelle Pierzina‘s record. On last night’s episode of Big Brother, Danielle realized all the lesbians in the world are not plotting to get her into bed, the houseguests scrambled to avoid being nominated, one the most disturbing competitions in Big Brother history happened, and Shane named his nominations.

The Coaches Competition starts with the Booty Scooty 6000. I now have a clear picture of what Mike Boogie Malin looks like when he’s having sex with old men. My retinas are burning! Britney Haynes fails at the Booty Scooty and names Ian and Joe as Have Nots. Hip 2 Hip knocks out Boogie. He gets money, divided into three amounts – $6000, $3000, and $1000. The greedy bastard keeps the $6000 for himself (okay, I would have done the same). He gives Ian $3000 and Jenn $1000. Ian tears up. My warm and fuzzy feelings are immediately erased by the Tongue Trainer Elite. Basically, Dan Gheesling and Janelle are french kissing a switch. I’d rather watch Ian assault his teddy bear with his tongue. Janelle’s tongue wins. As the winner, Janelle makes Wil safe for the week. Good move, because he would have been nominated otherwise.

Shane nominates Joe and Ashley. Huh? No Frank? Will something big happen this week? My goodness, I hope so. I cannot believe the first three evictions were Jodi, Kara, and JoJo. Way to get those big threats out of the house, guys.  Will the Power of Veto shake up the nominations? WARNING – SPOILERS AHEAD!

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Jennifer Lopez is leaving American Idol because they told her to to focus on family and film. E! News recently caught up with the former judge to get her thoughts on Mariah Carey joining American Idol. Does Carey have what it takes?

“I think so, yeah! Why not? She’s a musician for a long time she has a lot of experience,” Lopez told E! News. “And it’s that experience you offer them at the end of the day, the contestants just want to get better and grow through the process.”

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