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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the cheftestants harvested fresh oysters and cooked for the Rat City Roller Girls. While everyone wished they could have voted Josie Malave off the Top Chef island, Bart Vandaele was eliminated for serving beyond bland food. I told those suckers that they'd regret not letting Josie sink in the mud, but they didn't listen to me.

This week's episode opens with Sheldon Simeon sharpening his knives and Stefan Richter slathering on wrinkle cream. Funny. Padma Lakshmi introduces this week's special guest, master blade smith Bob Kramer, who makes custom knives that sell for $500 an inch. That's crazy!
 
Bob cuts through two ropes to demonstrate just how awesome a $4,000 knife is. Sheldon begs to give him a hug; Lizzie Binder appears as if she hasn't slept in weeks; Stefan doesn't look too impressed. Perhaps Stefan would have cracked a smile or raised an eyebrow if Bob had busted out $4,000 wrinkle cream.
 
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teen-mom-2-jenelle-evans-courtland-rogers-twitter

Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers respond to Taylor Lewis' claim that Courtland is using Jenelle for money, fame, and free drugs in 3…2…1…

Around 5:30 this morning, Jenelle reactivated her Twitter account and tweeted, "About this whole Taylor situation…. Courtland has told Taylor to please leave us alone and she gets all mad and posts tweets. That's all! I have NOT been staying at my moms either I've been living with him and been there everyday so no Court hasn't seen her at ALL, lmao. And I hate that f-king c-t dude… Idk why she says we 'get along' and 'I'm being played' becuz she wants the D. It's immature… Stop."

Jenelle added, "if there was a video it would of already been posted. She's mad cuz we recorded her on the phone and told her lmfao."

This afternoon, Taylor tweeted, "Y'all will see the video chill I'm not a lair i always back up what i say" and "Okay I'm upload something right now one of the recording i got." 

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teen-mom-2-courtland-rogers-jenelle-evans-back-together

Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and her husband Courtland Rogers sure do keep us on our toes. Let's recap the highlights of their whirlwind romance:

October 12 – Jenelle is in love, October 15 – Jenelle and Courtland break up, October 16 – oops, spoke too soon, back together, November 19 – Jenelle and Courtland get engaged, December 4 – Jenelle and Courtland get married, December 28 – nasty Twitter fight number 1, cry divorce, December 30 – nasty Twitter fight number 2, cry divorce, and January 1 – Courtland is all like, why is everyone saying we're getting divorced?

courtland-rogers-twitter-jenelle-happily-married

Seriously, Courtland? You have no idea where that idea could have originated? 

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shahs-of-sunset-lilly-ghalichi-coconut

There have been mixed reactions to Lilly Ghalichi's addition to Shahs of Sunset. Do you love her? Hate her? Want to steal her dog?

Either way, Lilly and Mercedes "MJ" Javid are bringing the drama, so don't expect the season 2 newcomer to go away anytime soon. This week on Shahs of Sunset, Lilly and MJ managed to insult one another without even sharing a scene. In Bravo's eyes… that's talent… and job security. 

When Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi wanted to gossip about Lilly, MJ implied that talking about Lilly wasn't worth her time. On the show, she said, "In about five minutes, Lilly is going to get shipped back to the welfare line she was standing in before she decided to invade my life." 

In response to MJ's jab, Lilly said, "If I had made this comment about MJ, it would be a HUGE deal that the skinny rich girl is picking on the chubby middle class girl. But, the other way around people find it acceptable? Double standard. Either way, MJ, I could buy your whole life and donate it to charity for fun if I wanted to, let's be real. The fact that I am self-made is something I am extremely proud of; you should pay attention and learn a few things from me."

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shahs-of-sunset-mercedes-mj-javid

Last week on Shahs of SunsetMike Shouhed reached out to Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi. Sadly, I suspect GG was way too drunk to comprehend Mike's warning to get her act together. Also, Reza Farahan and Mercedes "MJ" Javid continued to play their passive aggressive games, purposely trying to hurt one another, and Reza managed to make Sammy Younai look like a real gentleman.
 
This week's episode starts with GG and Omid Kalantari out on a date. While GG munches on a big sausage, Omid admits that he has been partying with her friends without her. GG takes it well. GG says that her friends could combine their money, diamonds, houses, etc. and still not have enough money to buy any class, adding, "They call themselves classy… they put the ass in class." 
 
Omid goes on to tell GG that her friends told him that he's delicious and well-behaved when he's not around GG. To the camera, GG says, "I'm shocked. For real. Take the botox away, and I'm shocked." Not that much later, GG learns more about what went down between MJ and Lilly Ghalichi / Reza at the bar, and she says the night would have gotten "so dirty" if she had been there. Yet, she's shocked to hear that her friends don't want to party with her. 
 
Someone needs to tell GG: when life gets tough, the saying is "just keep swimming" not "just keep drinking."
 
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teen-mom-2-jenelle-evans-courtland-rogers-twitter-break-up

Last Friday, newlyweds Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers created quite the tizzy when they announced they were getting divorced after only 26 days of wedded bliss. Via Twitter, of course. 

Bloggers and Teen Mom 2 fans struggled to keep up with the madness, which eventually ended with Courtland reaffirming his love and Jenelle refusing to take responsibility for the manic tweets on her account. By the end of the day, the love birds had kissed and made up.

Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Jenelle and Courtland have broken up once again. When Courtland talked to his daughter (and, by extension, her mother Taylor) on the phone Saturday night after Jenelle had gone to bed, Jenelle was not too happy about it. 

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maci-bookout-bentley

Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
 
Above: Teen Mom star Maci Bookout tweeted, "Beyond blessed to have this little boy be mine! Merry Christmas y'all, we love you!"
 
Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Kenya Moore, Joanna Krupa, Kimora Lee Simmons, Nicole Murphy, Kandi Burruss, Melissa Gorga, and more.
 
 
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teen-mom-2-chelsea-houska-aubree

Last time on Teen Mom 2, Leah Messer and Jeremy Calvert made their relationship official. Kailyn Lowry dumped Jordan in favor of getting back togeher with Jo Rivera, while Chelsea Houska agreed to give therapy a try in order to (finally!) get over Adam Lind. Finally, Jenelle Evans managed to avoid jail time after failing a drug test and met a new guy, Josh

For reasons unknown, MTV decided to air Teen Mom 2 on Christmas Eve and began with Chelsea. Said in my best whiny Chelsea voice… uh-ugh…. Chelsea brings her orange skin, raccoon eyes, bleached-to-death hair, and frosty lips to the nail salon. Luckily, Chelsea and mom Mary have both removed their hair feathers, so there's room in the car for Aubree. Thank goodness for small favors. For a while there, I expected to see the hair feathers listed in the opening credits. 
 
I'm elated Aubree comes to the nail salon. She is adorable and makes Chelsea's scenes bearable. I digress. While Chelsea, Mary, and Aubree get manicures, Chelsea announces that she's dropping out of therapy. She doesn't think she needs to go because the therapist didn't tell her anything she doesn't already know. Chelsea is all like, Everything she told me about boundaries and healthy and unhealthy relationships, I've already heard from every other person in my life. Basically, Chelsea doesn't want one more person – a person with a "dishing out advice" degree to boot – telling her that Ad-dumm is no good for her. 
 
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