In this week’s Game of Crowns, we revisit the fallout of Nick’s rampage at the Mrs. America pageant. Susanna Paliotta’s daughter shows us how to “LOL.” And there’s a lot of tea and bagels showing up. It’s sort of a snooze-fest, but it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Mrs. New England States pageant, which is right around the corner.
We begin at Shelley Carbone’s CT home where she is in the kitchen talking to her 3 kids and setting a good example for her children by…feeding them. And the dog. She reminds the kids that they need to finish up their homework so they can all head to Lynne Diamante’s tea party later.
Don’t Be Tardy opens with Kroy Biermann giving precious Kaia a bath in the kitchen yet again this week. Can I just say that these scenes bathing the two cutie pies are just the best?! I can’t handle the cuteness. He’s teaming up with Kim Zolciak and doing the old fashion way of being parents – by just being parents. She’s making bottles and he’s bathing babies. Teamwork at its finest and I love it (And Kroy baby-talking to Kai??? Adorable!). Ok, enough with the collective “Ohhhhs” in the back round….moving on!
Sweetie is talking to Kim about how she would love to have 6 babies but her “hooha” hasn’t been with as many dudes and she wants to make sure her “hooha” can handle that. Kim then reassures Sweetie that she can just get her vag rejuvenated (through what else – surgery!) you know, in case your p***y hangs like sliced prosciutto. Stop. I have to stop. I can handle lots of language and Kim can drop the f-bombs all night long – but for some reason I squirm in my seat whenever I hear p***y from anyone’s mouth. And it’s said a few more times in this episode. Just please keep it to “hooha” or ZIP IT.
On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, things begin with Kris Jenner and Leah Jenner taking a random midnight dip in the ocean. Kris decides to not let Kendall and Kylie’s hatred of her bother her. Apparently, at any given time, at least one of her kids can’t stand her, so basically it’s same old same old to Kris. #DysfunctionAtItsFinest
Kim Kardashian has decided not to let her embarrassing run in with Brody Jenner stop her from her selfie project. That’s too bad. Today Kim has graduated from standard ‘selfies’ and is now taking a$$ selfies. You read that right. Did one of her employees just rub her butt with oil and then apply sand. Seriously. Was this written in to their Kartrashian Kontract? Must be willing to apply baby oil and other lotions (amongst other elements) to Kimberley’s derriere. Quick question; how many employees does it take to apply oil and sand to Kim’s ass? If you answered 3 you were correct.
Last night on Ladies of London the women got a lesson in etiquette and then promptly forgot everything they learned. The divide between Caprice Bourret and Caroline Stanbury widened. And Noelle Reno continued to stir the pot. It’s what she does best.
We begin at Slades Farm, Annabelle Neilson’s home. She has checked herself out of the hospital and is recovering from her accident. Caroline arrives with gifts: DVD’s and a huge TV. Where was Caroline when I was sick? Annabelle is doing well, all things considered. She asks what’s going on, namely with the Caprice situation. Caroline tells her how Noelle and Marissa are planning a baby shower/going away party for Caprice. She’s still irked by it. Annabelle advises her to take the high road. Caroline doesn’t think she can, but Annabelle urges her to do it.
On last night’s episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians we saw an emotional Khloe Kardashianreach her breaking point. From admitting to Lamar Odom’s affairs, packing up her home and facing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen jewelery, Khloe cracked under the pressure and gave in to some old vices.
Things kick off with Kourtney Kardashian and her half paralyzed face. Kourtney is distressed by her latest disaster with the dentist. Khloe however, is too busy snapping pics on her phone and threatening to use them at a later date. #Blackmail (see the video below)
They’re called Mrs. Pageants. And they look like they’re going to be the perfect combo of women-of-a-certain-age shellacking themselves and each other into dresses and hairpieces, meaty husbands supporting (threatening?) them in the background, poor-man’s Vegas costumes, and a healthy sprinkling of good ole fashioned backstabbing. Game of Crowns is a hot mess, missus style.
We meet Vanassa Sebastianfirst, the alpha female of the group, a breast cancer survivor and Native American from the Passamaquoddy tribe. Vanassa is no pageant virgin, having competed and placed in a former Mrs. America pageant, and formerly won Mrs. Connecticut. Vanassa’s husband, Brian, co-owns Foxwood Resort & Casino (Where my uncle goes to play the dollar slots on the regular. My aunt does not approve. Foxwoods is spoken of in hushed tones in our family circle.).
Last night on Ladies of London the women took a trip to Mapperton. We had shooting, Sandwiches, questionable table manners, and several awkward moments. But, in the end they hugged it out.
We begin with an intense yoga session with Marissa Hermer and Julie. It looks painful and there’s talk about looseness, which I’m trying to forget. Julie isn’t just a yoga instructor, she also our seventh Lady. And she’s an actual Lady…of Hinchingbrooke. She tells us that her life is like a fairy tale. She came to the UK from the Midwest and met her knight, the soon-to-be Earl of Sandwich. Every little girl’s dream. She actually seems pretty down to earth for someone with a title.
Marissa and Julie discuss the upcoming trip to Julie’s in-law’s estate, Mapperton. Annabelle Neilson will of course be attending since she’s a longtime friend of the family. She’s always out there shooting. AndJuliet Angus better watch out because she’s a good shot. Speaking of little Daisy Duke, Julie is worried about her attending. We get a flashback to the “keep being ruder” moment. So nasty and so ruder. Marissa and Julie agree that Juliet and Annabelle should be kept far apart. As if that will happen.