Real Housewives of New York

Last night on MTV Real World Spring Break, oh… errrr…Oops! I mean Middle-Aged (Wannabe) Girls Gone Wild. Oh… danggit – I mean Real Housewives of New York! There we go, that's the right show. Anyway, last night on RHONY the battle between Turtletime and Hurricane Aviva continued to rage. I think we're going to have to declare this one a draw because both these crazies went in circles like a typhoon and I don't think anything was resolved! 

So things begin with a little bitching and arguing over what else – girls trip vs. couple's retreat. What about therapeutic retreat? Why didn't Bravo call in some therapists to assist with the lunacy and sit everyone down for a good ol' " I feel" session followed by some team building exercises? 

Over breakfast, Reid and Russ are present and this is not acceptable. A clearly hung-over Sonja Morgan is shoveling in the food at warp speed and complaining about being called white trash. Pinot Singer and Sonja try to "pretend" they have no idea what that even means and hop on Google for a little investigative research. They get on dictionary.com and are most surprised to find a photo of themselves right next to the description. Oh, that can't be because White Trash means "poor" and they are not poor. They are just bankrupt and married to (or divorced from) money. Then someone distracts them by yelling wine and they decide oh, well at least White Trash means you're nice and it doesn't have anything to do with being inhospitable anyway.

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LuAnn de Lesseps has been in the spotlight a lot recently – for all the wrong reasons! The Real Housewives of New York star has been accused of cheating on camera with a very dashing young pirate. LuAnn emphatically denies that any sort of misdeeds took place, but sometimes the lady doth protests too much!

In a new interview with the Miami New Times, LuAnn discusses the alleged cheating and how this season has been different with Jill Zarin and Alex McCord out of the picture! 

"I was really, really sad about that," LuAnn says of learning Jill was fired. "Jill is the one that got me on the show. I met Jill and she said, 'I think you would be perfect!' I really miss Jill and Kelly [Bensimon]. Alex and Simon [van Kempen] I could live without." The feelings must be mutual as Simon recently did an interview in which he openly wondered if LuAnn was a "liar" or a "slut!

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New York Fashion Week not only brings out the A-list celebs and fashionistas, but also the reality TV stars, as well.  I mean, there ARE cameras present and freebies to be had, so of course they're out in full force! 

Celebrity gossip hunter Tom Murro shared the above shot of  Ramona Singer posing with some lovely Fashion Week eye candy (aka the Schutz models).  Happy Monday.  You're welcome.

Also spotted was Big Ang who attended the Fashion's Night Out festivities at Sak's Fifth Avenue.  Tom shared that Big Ang was as sweet as ever and also noted that Ang was NOT partaking in the freebies – she was just there to have a good time.   Check her out below!

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It was the hook-up witnessed round the world as everyone had ringside seats to LuAnn de Lesseps alleged cheating on boyfriend Jacques Azoulay.

While the Real Housewives of New York star maintains that things were kept strictly platonic and she didn't get to swashbucklin with a certain pirate, RadarOnline reports that LuAnn's longtime beau is ready to make her walk the plank over the rumors! 

"All of the housewives are sent advanced copies of the upcoming episode that is going to be aired a week beforehand," a source close to the situation reveals. "Normally, LuAnn and Jacques watch the upcoming episode together but this past week, for the first time in a very long time, they didn't."

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Well last Monday's episode of Real Housewives of New York was a treat wasn't it? It had fights, alleged anal sex, bikini grinding, nudity, cougar pawing, drunken antics – and yeah, nope – It wasn't a porno!

Anyway, one person (besides myself) who hasn't recovered from the horrors is Aviva Drescher who showed up on St. Barths with her temper set to 11 (10 points for anyone who gets the Spinal Tap reference). Speaking to The Huffington Post, Aviva shares her perspective on the incidents months later. And she's still pissed! 

"I’m alive to talk about it,” Aviva jokes. “We do more filming, and on vacation that microphone never comes off. There was a lot of drugs, sex and rock 'n' roll.” DRUGS?! Where? Who? What? DETAILS, please! Apparently, Aviva is not willing to share, claiming nothing "illegal" was consumed. 

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Last night on Real Housewives of New York gale force winds and torrential rains swept through the tiny island of St. Barths. Yes, Hurricane Aviva had arrived and she was there with a vengeance and a fury. Whipping through the villa, shaking the trees with the huffs and blows of her screams and drenching the luxury with her tears and anger. 

Oh, Aviva Drescher. She wanted a red carpet, a cookie, for her husband to be exalted as a saint all because she got on an airplane and showed up. Too bad everyone else was like, 'whatever bitch – have a drink.' So yeah – needless to say paths were crossed, enemy lines were drawn, and her arrival sank like a torpedoed submarine. 

Before we get to all of that, the girls are still – shockingly – getting along, despite Pinot Singer's insistence at stalking the lovely and handsome pirate one night stand of LuAnn de Lesseps. 'Tomas! Whacha do last night? ' Pinot leered, wine sloshing over the top of her glass, wine bloat bursting out of her hideous flesh-colored dress, eyes popping and crackling with desire. Not desire for Tomas you understand, but desire for incriminating information. 

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Tonight the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continue their mission to behave incredibly badly in St. Barths. Last week viewers got a glimpse of LuAnn de Lesspes and her pirate affairs. Well tonight the drama continues when Aviva Drescher arrives on the island and goes head to head to with Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan

What is it about RHONY and islands?

Aviva discussed the events with Celebuzz and admits it gets pretty crazy – like Scary Island crazy, perhaps? "Monday is, I think, sort of the crescendo of my storyline,” Aviva shares. “I really become unhinged. All that biting of my tongue when I was in the pool, or when I was going in the Jacuzzi, or when Ramona was in my kitchen, sort of comes out.”

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Oh Countess.  What a tangled web we weave…The etiquette queen of was caught up in a scandal on the most recent episode of her Housewives franchise.  LuAnn De Lesseps, who is dating Ross Gellar Jacques Azoulay seemed to be straying to a more Johnny Depp-esque pirate beau when the Manhattannite women were vacationing in St. Barths. 

While her cast mates wondered who she'd come home with after a night on the town, LuAnn found herself in a fistful of Italian lies after she fibbed about who came home with her after a night of partying on the island.  The truth will set you free, LeAnn…or at least, it won't make it look like you're hooking up with a pirate while your French boyfriend waits in New York to give you a new baby.  Oh the scandal!

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