On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, we lost two of the biggest reasons to watch the show. I’ll spare you the spoiler alert, and I’ll just start from the ending: Teresa Giudice finally floated her way out of the boardroom, and Lisa Lampanelli found herself in a situation she couldn’t cry her way out of. In fact, it was her constant crying that cost her a spot in the final two. Lisa has bragged on her Twitter that she uses crying to manipulate the judges, so I stopped buying the “passionate comic act” around the second time she did it.
Last night’s task was to create an ad campaign for CHI hair products for Elle magazine. Anyone else get the feeling they create tasks that are perfect for the just eliminated contestant? Dayana Mendoza could have possibly done really well on this task with her modeling background and connections. I guess we’ll never know. She could have created an ad campaign with a woman getting her hair done coming out of labor; the labor thing being one of her more outlandish ideas. Teresa and Lisa decide to project manage.
Last night, Donald Trumptold the remaining six victims on Celebrity Apprenticethat they all looked sick and tired. And, he’s right. I’m sick and tired, too. The marathon pace of the show is starting to visibly take its toll on the contestants. Or maybe the editing monkeys exaggerated everyone’s behavior. Whatever it was, after tonight’s elimination, there will only be one way to go, and that’s for everyone to turn on each other.
The challenge this week was to create a jingle for Good Sam, an emergency roadside assistance firm with a retro-esque mascot. What a shame that both our musically inclined “celebrities” were project managers last week. This week, Aubrey O’Day and Clay Aiken really could have shone, but instead Dayana Mendoza decided to PM, with Arsenio Hall managing Unanimous. Or, the reality, Aubrey took over the creative direction of the team while Arsenio’s true project management task was managing Aubrey.
Speaking to HollywoodLife, the self-titled Queen of Mean hints that tonight’s episode is quite explosive, as she comes to verbal blows with her teammate! “Let’s just say me and Clay Aikenexplode at Dayana [Mendoza] so loudly, we renamed our team Team Chernobyl,” Lisa hints. “We have the biggest eruption.”
“I feel like I’m finally vindicated,” Lisa continues. “A man, or as close to a man as Clay can be considered, is going to be backing me up and saying, ‘Wow, Lisa was right all along.’ I saw him yelling at her in the preview, and I was like, ‘You go, Blanche from The Golden Girls!’” Um… why is Lisa so impressed with her cruelty towards people. She does realize she’s embarrassing herself on national TV?
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice felt like a placeholder in between far more exciting episodes. The last two weeks were so exciting that I guess we needed a break before the real stuff starts. This needs to step up, because Sunday nights are too competitive. In any case, the Trumps certainly needed another product placement turn, since Ivanka’s fashion line has been all but forgotten at this point by most viewers.
This time, it was the Donald’s turn, and he got to shill for his new fragrance, “Success by Trump” Or as I like to call it, “Success after declaring bankruptcy and putting your family’s name on just about anything.” Both teams had to create an in-store display and slogan to promote the brand at Macy’s. On team Unanimous, looking so sad with just three members, Aubrey O’Day stepped up to the PM plate, and on team Forte, Clay Aiken took over. Penn Jillette talking-heads that he is going to bow out in order to become the celebrity apprentice. Remember that part!
The assignment is given out in Trump’s magnificently tacky home, the amount of gold just in the room the cast is standing in could probably be used to feed several third-world nations, but who cares when Donald needs everything to sparkle? Moving on to the war room, Clay already started to get annoyed at Penn and all his IDEAS. Dayana Mendoza immediately comes up with a super sexual idea of having nude women wear ties in the photos for the display. I’m not surprised that Dayana comes up with stuff like this; if you ever watch television from her home country of Venezuela, everything is all about innuendo and double entendre. The girl simply can not help it!
At an event held yesterday at Trump Tower, Teresa presented the check to nine-year-old kidney disease patient Matthew Levine, whose dad serves on the board of directors of The NephCure Foundation.
Teresa shared in the press release: “No one — especially a child — should have to deal with FSGS or Nephrotic Syndrome. I have met a number of kidney disease patients since I joined up with NephCure. Many of them you wouldn’t even know are sick. They look healthy from the outside, but these diseases are tearing apart their kidneys. Anyone who has FSGS or Nephrotic Syndrome should contact NephCure; they are making a difference.”
“I am so grateful that I can use my platform to help. Life is too short for drama and negativity and my work with NephCure reminds me every day to focus on what really matters in life. Please make a difference and join me in supporting NephCure.”
On hand to show Teresa some support was her husbandJoe Giudice and also Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. This is reportedly the only time the Trump family showed up for any of the charity check ceremonies.
On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, both teams had to run improvisational puppet shows. Product placement department was really asleep at the wheel this week, since there was no corporate sponsor constantly being complemented. Ivanka Trump could barely bring herself to say “the executives” in the boardroom.
Since all shows on television now air on Sunday night, I’ll remind you that Lou Ferrigno was fired last week for only giving half of his usual “110%.” Lisa and Dayana shuffle back into the boardroom, Clay Aiken makes a snarky comment, which Lisa immediately overreacted to. Lisa, the woman who makes her living making fun of others, can dish it but certainly can not take it.
On this week’s task, Lisa Lampanelli elects herself as project manager in an attempt to finally win something, and Clay is shuffled over to Forte. Nice work, producers! Paul Teutul decides to manage this task, which is kinda weird. Aubrey O’Day would have been a shoe-in. Her hair alone is practically its own puppet!
Someone must have had a talk with Aubrey about her dominating ways because she decides to take a step back and let Paul run the show. And, since this is a different universe,Arsenio Hall & Aubrey are cool with each other! See what happens after you call your teammate a “See you next Tuesday!” You become friends afterwards. Paul had an injury the day before they start preparing for the act, so he is basically useless. Both teams get a lot of training on this task, in both, actual improv and puppeteering. Teresa Giudice loves that the improv guys encourage not knowing what you’re talking about. Do I really have to write a joke here? You know what to do, commenters! Take this and run with it. You’ve been given a gift.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice opened up on Awkardville, aka the terrified remaining team members with a ranting Arsenio Hall. Everyone looked like they wanted to avoid Arsenio’s gaze. Everyone except for Lisa Lampanelli, who finally found an outfit that looked flattering (It’s 2012. There are amazing plus size options everywhere. Look into them!). Hilariously, the self-proclaimed insult comic had a problem with Arsenio’s choice of insults for Aubrey O’Day. She yelled at Arsenio that he was about to ruin his image and career and that “every woman in America would hate him” after watching his tirade.
In his talking head, Arsenio recognized how ridiculous it was that Lisa of all people should be upset with his word choice, but on the other hand, Arsenio’s anger towards Aubrey seemed way out of line. In the war room, the team decides that from now on, the team follow Teresa’s lead to avoid future problems. Who woulda thought, Teresa Giudice would be the sanest person in a room? Lou Ferrigno and Dayana Mendoza come in from the boardroom and Lisa once again, does nothing to hide her disgust. She tells Penn Jillette that from now on, the two of them will be carrying their team. She’s not exactly wrong there.
The product placement this week is for entertainment.com, a company that no one can seem to refer to with a straight face. The teams have to produce 60-second commercials for the company. Dayana steps up as project manager for Forte and Teresa decides to manage Unanimous. Aubrey makes her return and she and Arsenio have something resembling an adult discussion, and Arsenio even comes close to apologizing, blaming his emotion on the charity work, both for his old friend Magic Johnson and his “cousin from Cleveland” who recently died of AIDS. They both agree to move on.
While a part of me is rooting for Aubrey, it was a huge letdown to see her make fun of Teresa in her talking head spots, especially after Teresa saved her in the last boardroom. Everyone knows Teresa should have brought Aubrey in, and didn’t due to their friendship/alliance, so watching Aubrey take down Teresa was too much. It just confirms what Arsenio said: it’s Aubrey’s world, and it’s all “I, I, I.” Unanimous ends up having a very peaceful week working, and they even blame Arsenio’s outburst for getting all the anger out into the open, but moving past it. This is just to grown-up for me!