Today, Farrah tells us why she outshines all other porn stars, forgets a major detail about the main character in her erotic trilogy, and gives us a glimpse of what to expect from book one, Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making.
Farrah hates being called a porn star – poor thing – so she feels the need to explain to us regular folk the difference between a sex tape and a porn. "I think people purposely don't know how to separate a celebrity sex tape and a regular porn. I mean, I have wonderful friends who are in the adult industry. They make porn for a living – that is what they always do. Like, payment is different. Like, living your life is different. Taking care of yourself. Everything is different."
So, I think we can all agree that nothing says Happy Friday to my Reality Tea friends like a Farrah Abraham post with a huge close-up picture, right?
The Couples Therapy singleton gave two in-depth interviews recently, one to Starcasm and one to THZ, but I pulled only the best quotes from each to spare you repetition. Not to mention a Farrah induced coma.
Farrah celebrated her 23rd birthday last week. How does she feel about that?
"I feel like it is the right age to be, which is good to say, because sometimes I’m like ‘Ugh my life’ and I’m trying to handle everything fame has gotten me," said Farrah. "I’m 23 – and it feels right!" Raise your hand if you're already lost.
VH1 announced the new Couples Therapy cast late last week. Season five will feature former porn star Jenna Jameson & John Wood, Big Brother's Dick Donato & Stephanie Rogness-Fischer, former Jersey Shore star Deena Cortese & Chris Buckner, and Naughty By Nature's Treach & Cicely Evans. As a huge fan of Big Brother, I am looking forward to seeing Evel Dick again!
Not impressed with the cast? Ess okay, there's more!
According to E!, Bachelor mistake Juan Pablo Galavis and his chosen one Nikki Ferrell have joined the cast, but they were not mentioned in the press release due to Juan's contract. "It's true they're doing it," confirmed a source. "The reason it wasn't put in the press release is due to Juan Pablo's deal with ABC. It's not up until August, so, contractually, it can't be mentioned until then."
So, today's good news is, Farrah has more to say about her book and life. The bad news is that I have pictures from Farrah's 23rd birthday party too!
Why did Farrah decide to write an erotic trilogy? "The whole sex symbol – that hype – and I'm single and 23, I felt now is the proper time for me to write about some fantasies and some great things that luckily I turned into a positive." Why I love Farrah so much – she never fails to turn "great" things into "positives".
As Farrah Abraham continues to promote her erotic trilogy – Celebrity Sex Tape – she continues to remind me how important it is for my young children to learn vocabulary and how to put words together to form coherent sentences. "I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex," Farrah tells FOX 411. "I think it is because I am 22 – and I am kind of single. What better way to express yourself in a positive way than writing. I really enjoy writing."
When will Farrah begin to express herself in English?
So, the Couples Therapy singleton says we'll see her on VH1 again soon, but she claims reality TV isn't her primary focus right now. "I am looking forward to grow my portfolio with literacy and the books and different genres. Hopefully I'll write a business book and I'll do more fictional things." Or hopefully not. Also? Farrah expects E.L. James to feel pressured to write more to keep up with her amazing portfolio of literacy.
Book one ofFarrah Abraham's trilogy,Celebrity Sex Tape, will be released July 1 – and I could not be more excited about it. No I haven't lost my mind. I do not plan to read Farrah's smut book, but this also means Farrah needs to give interviews to promote it! I can't stand Farrah, the person, but I love Farrah, the interviewee. Bring on the interviews!
Farrah sat down with Huff Post Live's Ricky Camilleri earlier today to talk about Celebrity Sex Tape and say awesome things like her trilogy is the next stop in her "portfolio of literacy" and reality TV taught her to be "more better at communication." Let's have a moment of silence for Ricky. He deserves it.
Farrah introduced the main character of her trilogy, Fallon Opal, and Ricky asked, "Not Farrah?" She insisted, "Not me. I think we all use our inspiration and experiences of life to build our stories but this is very different from anything that I've ever had in my life. But I noticed through some drama that I went through this past year of my own sex tape that this is a popular issue."
Rumor has it, no one's favorite father of eight, Jon Gosselin, lost his job as a waiter. Raise your hand if you're shocked.
Last year, Jon started waiting and bussing tables in PA. At the time, he said he couldn't find an IT job that was flexible enough for a father of eight. Let's play along, shall we, and pretend he actually parents eight children on a daily basis. No judgment here. Waiting tables is an honest day's work – and it's more "real world" work thanKate Gosselin has done since Jon & Kate Plus 8 aired.
That said, Radar reported, Jon was fired from this job a few months ago. "Jon was fired for blowing off shifts and coming in late," claimed the source. "He had no work ethic and felt he could come and go as he pleased."
Roughly three weeks ago, Catelynn and Tyler revealed that they were actively trying to become pregnant. "We're ready to have a baby," shared Catelynn. "I would've felt guilty if I got pregnant again when Carly was 1 or 2, but we've both been yearning for this." Carly will be five on May 18.
Catelynn's brother River and mother April shared the news (um hopefully with permission) via Facebook. Catelynn has not confirmed or denied the news yet, but Tyler did comment on April's announcement.