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Couples Therapy

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Farrah Abraham, who's forever promoting her coast-to-coast appearances at Night Clubs and Gentleman's Clubs, shared the above photo from the SXSW festival in Austin on Instagram yesterday. As usual, the picture riled up the former Teen Mom star's critics, who left countless "bad mom" and "never with your child" comments.

Farrah lashed out at her haters, insisting she's a "damn good" mom to Sophia, late last night.  "Happy Saint Patty's Day," she wrote. "I had an amazing day with my BooBoo Sophia. That picture I previously uploaded was from about a week ago so for all you people saying I'm never with my daughter – I am." 

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Farrah Abraham has released a new single titled Blowin. BWAHAHAHA  No, really. That's the name of the song – as in, she's blowin' all her bullies away.

“I think all of the bully types I deal with who are determined to be against me in my life,” explains Farrah. “I want others to see they don’t need to be a follower or conform to what others think or do and let them live their lives to their full potential.  I feel that to overcome the gravity of the negativity bullies try to portray on others, we really need our own space and focus to leave all of that behind and clear the negativity.”

Farrah adds, "I think the single Blowin' reminds others of that great potential in an upbeat song.  I also want my daughter to be better than all the gossip and negative people when she gets older.  Sophia really likes the song and dances to it as much as she can." 

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Kate Gosselin Jon Gosselin

I know, I know. Like you, I thought we'd (kind of) heard the last of Jon & Kate Plus 8 stars Jon Gosselin and ex-wife Kate. Sure, they'd appear every once in a while with a complaint or a new haircut, but, for the most part, they had left the building.

Enter VH1's Couples Therapy. With that one reality television gem that sensationalized Jon's "journey" post-divorce, the most dysfunctional family of eight was once again thrust down our throats like a bad corn dog. I'll be honest…I'd been Team Jon because I believed he'd intentionally dropped off our radar in an effort to be a "normal, hard-working dad," but in all actuality, he's just as much a fame whore as his ridiculous ex. Thanks, TLC. That was a can of worms that should have never been opened!

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AaaahhhCouples Therapy. I was promised a trainwreck and a trainwreck we shall have. Oh goody!

Kelsey Nykole saunters out onto the patio where a slurry Taylor Armstrong and a messy, sloppy Liz and Jon Gosselin are talking. Kelsey drops the bomb that she's never masturbated. 

Liz and Taylor are shocked. "That's part of my repertoire," announces Taylor. Lovely. "I'm an expert," says Liz who decimated Jon in an earlier episode for "beating off". Hypocrite much? 

The next day Liz and Jon have a little gift for Kelsey – it's her very first vibrator! Surprisingly it did not come from Farrah Abraham's line of sex toys. She wasn't passing out goody bags?! Oh but wait – she was forced to make those vaj-molds and videotape herself doing it! Cause we all want a keek of Farrah's crotchal region covered in plaster! I don't know what's a grosser vibrator association: Jon or Farrah

Moving on, Taylor is struggling with parenting. "I don't parent," she slurs at the camera before course correcting to explain she doesn't set boundaries. #FreudianSlip Kennedy comes to the house the next day for some quality time with this woman who people say is her mom. Taylor greets Kennedy with villainous laugh that lasts about 5 minutes. In return, Kennedy shoots Taylor dirty looks that could melt a lip-plant. 

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The season finale of Couples Therapy airs tonight.

Season four has been the highest-rated and most popular season of Couples Therapy thus far thanks to reality TV fans flocking to VH1 to see train wrecks such as RHOBH's Taylor Armstrong, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and Jon & Kate Plus 8's Jon Gosselin. They did not disappoint — but Dr. Jenn Berman definitely did every time she failed to call out Taylor's lies, supported Farrah's delusions, and enabled Jon's anger issues

Speaking of Jon, he scored oodles of air time last week when he claimed Kate Gosselin refused to let him talk to his kids on the phone – and then he called her a "piece of f–king shit" and a "shitty human being" on camera.  I never doubted Jon's story because, um, Kate is a nasty, vindictive person, However, according to an inside source, Jon lied about the phone call.

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Premiere of 'The Hungover Games' - Arrivals

Um…I'm not sure what to do with this information. It's just plain gross, but I think the issue I have with it is that I am not at all surprised by it. Have I become so jaded that nothing to do with Farrah Abraham shocks me anymore? Yes. The answer to that question is yes. In fact, with this morsel of gossip, I find myself saying "eww" in the highest.

So, when the Teen Mom star isn't waxing her daughter's eyebrows or showing up to Couples Therapy sans the other half of her "couple," Farrah is trying to make money off her porn private home sex tape filmed for the sole purpose of promoting her future self-esteem…because Backdoor Teen Mom clearly wasn't filmed on a set…with a production crew…and a porn star. You won't believe the latest gossip!  Or maybe you will…

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So first you have to actually believe that Farrah Abraham or her mom actually had $250,000 to throw around. Then if you believe that you have to remember this is Farrah Abraham who has never told the truth in her life. 

In today's laughable Farrah story, she is accusing her mom Debra Danielson of getting wrapped up in some international online dating scheme that depleted her of a quarter million dollars. 

In a deleted scene from a past episode of Couples Therapy (but available on the VH1 website) Farrah is seen concocting a crazy story about her mom to Taylor Armstrong and asking for advice. Oh man could these two compare notes…  

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Last night on Couples Therapy, Dr. Jenn Berman and Dr. Mike Dow asked the four couples and one lone bird to "let out their past demons" by destroying a house. And the Couples Therapy Award for Disturbing Anger Issues goes to Jon Gosselin. This guy need serious help with anger management. Like, real therapy, not made for reality TV therapy.

From last week, Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt are trying to recover from an intense and emotional argument. They suck at communication, but Whitney has the patience of a saint and recognizes that Sada's nervous about seeing her dad and taking it out on her. 

Whitney says she tries to be sensitive to Sada's needs, but she wishes Sada would speak up if she's missing the mark. Sada says she knows Whitney's not a mind reader. However, she follows that with, but communication is reading your partner's cues and emotions. Oh Sada. Is there any hope for her? On a positive note, she does understand that she projects her issues onto Whitney.

Out of the blue, Farrah Abraham crawls into bed with Taylor Armstrong and John Bluher for a "bed shot" picture. You can take the girl out of the porn, but you can't take the porn out of the girl.  Taylor plays along despite the fact that she hates Farrah's guts. Because, cameras!

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