I know, I know. Like you, I thought we'd (kind of) heard the last of Jon & Kate Plus 8 stars Jon Gosselin and ex-wife Kate. Sure, they'd appear every once in a while with a complaint or a new haircut, but, for the most part, they had left the building.
Enter VH1's Couples Therapy. With that one reality television gem that sensationalized Jon's "journey" post-divorce, the most dysfunctional family of eight was once again thrust down our throats like a bad corn dog. I'll be honest…I'd been Team Jon because I believed he'd intentionally dropped off our radar in an effort to be a "normal, hard-working dad," but in all actuality, he's just as much a fame whore as his ridiculous ex. Thanks, TLC. That was a can of worms that should have never been opened!
Liz and Taylor are shocked. "That's part of my repertoire," announces Taylor. Lovely. "I'm an expert," says Liz who decimated Jon in an earlier episode for "beating off". Hypocrite much?
The next day Liz and Jon have a little gift for Kelsey – it's her very first vibrator! Surprisingly it did not come fromFarrah Abraham's line of sex toys. She wasn't passing out goody bags?! Oh but wait – she was forced to make those vaj-molds and videotape herself doing it! Cause we all want a keek of Farrah's crotchal region covered in plaster! I don't know what's a grosser vibrator association: Jon or Farrah.
Moving on, Taylor is struggling with parenting. "I don't parent," she slurs at the camera before course correcting to explain she doesn't set boundaries. #FreudianSlip Kennedy comes to the house the next day for some quality time with this woman who people say is her mom. Taylor greets Kennedy with villainous laugh that lasts about 5 minutes. In return, Kennedy shoots Taylor dirty looks that could melt a lip-plant.
Season four has been the highest-rated and most popular season of Couples Therapy thus far thanks to reality TV fans flocking to VH1 to see train wrecks such as RHOBH's Taylor Armstrong, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and Jon & Kate Plus 8's Jon Gosselin. They did not disappoint — but Dr. Jenn Berman definitely did every time she failed to call out Taylor's lies, supported Farrah's delusions, and enabled Jon's anger issues
Speaking of Jon, he scored oodles of air time last week when he claimed Kate Gosselin refused to let him talk to his kids on the phone – and then he called her a "piece of f–king shit" and a "shitty human being" on camera. I never doubted Jon's story because, um, Kate is a nasty, vindictive person, However, according to an inside source, Jon lied about the phone call.
Um…I'm not sure what to do with this information. It's just plain gross, but I think the issue I have with it is that I am not at all surprised by it. Have I become so jaded that nothing to do with Farrah Abraham shocks me anymore? Yes. The answer to that question is yes. In fact, with this morsel of gossip, I find myself saying "eww" in the highest.
So, when the Teen Mom star isn't waxing her daughter's eyebrows or showing up to Couples Therapy sans the other half of her "couple," Farrah is trying to make money off her porn private home sex tape filmed for the sole purpose of promoting her future self-esteem…because Backdoor Teen Mom clearly wasn't filmed on a set…with a production crew…and a porn star. You won't believe the latest gossip! Or maybe you will…
So first you have to actually believe that Farrah Abraham or her mom actually had $250,000 to throw around. Then if you believe that you have to remember this is Farrah Abraham who has never told the truth in her life.
In today's laughable Farrah story, she is accusing her mom Debra Danielson of getting wrapped up in some international online dating scheme that depleted her of a quarter million dollars.
In a deleted scene from a past episode of Couples Therapy (but available on the VH1 website) Farrah is seen concocting a crazy story about her mom to Taylor Armstrong and asking for advice. Oh man could these two compare notes…
Last night on Couples Therapy, Dr. Jenn Berman and Dr. Mike Dow asked the four couples and one lone bird to "let out their past demons" by destroying a house. And the Couples Therapy Award for Disturbing Anger Issues goes to Jon Gosselin. This guy need serious help with anger management. Like, real therapy, not made for reality TV therapy.
Whitney says she tries to be sensitive to Sada's needs, but she wishes Sada would speak up if she's missing the mark. Sada says she knows Whitney's not a mind reader. However, she follows that with, but communication is reading your partner's cues and emotions. Oh Sada. Is there any hope for her? On a positive note, she does understand that she projects her issues onto Whitney.
Out of the blue, Farrah Abraham crawls into bed withTaylor Armstrong and John Bluher for a "bed shot" picture. You can take the girl out of the porn, but you can't take the porn out of the girl. Taylor plays along despite the fact that she hatesFarrah's guts. Because, cameras!
FarrahAbraham and the little engine of lies that simply could not stop is about to get her a$$ served. And not by James Deen, but by James Deen'sboss Vivid Entertainment!
CEO of the smut purveying empire Steve Hirsch has had about enough of Farrah's mouth and issued a cease and desist letter to the Couples Therapy star. "Farrah thinks she can insult and defame the Vivid brand and get away with it," Steve told Fish Wrapper. "Either she stops now or we will take immediate legal action. She will be held accountable."
The problem is that Farrah is desperate to make people believe she's not a porn star despite all evidence to the contrary – and she's even going so far to insinuate that she was drugged and raped while promoting Backdoor Teen Mom as a representative for Vivid. But even worse she's suggesting that she was manipulated into signing a 3-film deal with Vivid. Not the case says Steve!
Picking up where we left off, Sada and Taylor talking to Jon Gosselin and Liz Jennetta about how bitchy Liz is to Jon. Surprisingly Liz takes it well and listens to what Sada says and Taylor slurs.
The next day, Dr. Jenn talks to Jon alone because she feels his relationship is doomed if he doesn't start to demand respect from Liz. Jon truly believe Liz loves him. Then, he says he dated a lot of women and felt the best connection with Liz, and I stare at my TV in disbelief. Who are these women who want to date Jon Gosselin?!? Seriously! Dr. Jenn wishes Jon luck, adding, "You need to come from a place of strength, not a place of woundedness."