Last night on Couples Therapy the brilliant professionalism that is Dr. Jenn Berman explored *gasp* secrets. Secrets soooo big, and soooo deep, and soooo like secrety that the cameras had to be turned off on Farrah Abraham so Farrah could secret in secret. And also scrunch up her face while stage whispering, aka cry.
Other than that, Ghostface's secret girlfriend Latrice came to the house to discover that Ghost also has a secret girlfriend named Kelsey. In the world of Ghost this is just how he gets his mack on, in the world of the rest of us, Ghost should just give up the ghost and accept that he's a middle-aged man with a midlife crisis. Oh, did I say that out loud? Cause I wish Dr. Jenn would have! Basically what I'm saying here is that last night's Couples Therapy was about one singular sensation who no one would ever date and one menage-a-trois dysfunctional relationship. So like where the couples at?
No one likes Farrah.I mean of course not - she makes condescending snarky comments to everyone, walks around with her fake nose in the air, and acts like it's all their faults she's a liar. Also everyone sees through her. Taylor Armstrong slurs that the "floral skirts with ballet flats aren't fooling me." Exactly how is Taylor getting sloshed every night "therapeutic"?
Well I'm going to handle this as tactfully as I can and just present the information.
Farrah Abraham undoubtedly has issues (which she is currently exploring while appearing ALONE on Couples Therapy) and apparently the root of many of these issues stems from a rape trauma and childhood abuse.
“I was drugged and raped more than once. I allowed the [wrong] type of people into my life,” Farrahclaims to In Touch Weekly. The former Teen Mom star also alleges that following the release of her "sex tape" she booked appearances at strip clubs and porn conventions which further put her life in jeopardy.
Courtney stepped out last week with producer and manager David Weintraub, just after announcing that she's working on her own reality show, as well as her singing career. She's wearing more clothes than usual and you can't see it, but she's wearing a pair of shoes that aren't her beige ones!
Most sites report that the two were on a blind date after David requested to be set up on the date with Courtney. I'm wondering if it's more of a business dinner, though. Courtney is working on several projects and David is responsible for producing the type of shows she'll wind up on. David's producer resume includes assisting with shows like Sober House, Celebrity Rehab, Sex Rehab, Living with Kimberly Stewart, and Sons of Hollywood.
David also manages (or did manage) celebrities like Danielle Staub, Shayne Lamas and husband Nik Richie, Angelina Pivarnick, Tareq Salahi and Levi Johnston. My guess is Courtney's his latest client, but maybe they're keeping it quiet for Doug's sake right now? Just a hunch.
Day eight in theCouples Therapy house begins with group therapy with Dr. Jenn Berman. Today's topic is sex. So, naturally, I expect a full hour of sex tape shenanigans featuring Farrah Abraham. Yeah, not so much. The next two days oftherapyrevolve around Sada Bettencourt and Whitney Mixter and Ghostface Killah and Kelsey Nykole.
But first, we do hear a little bit fromJon Gosselin and Liz Jannetta, as well as Farrah. Taylor Armstrong is either too sober (and boring) or too traumatized (green towels) to score a speaking part this week. Whatever. Not hearing about Taylor and John's sex life is A-OK with me, especially since we have to revisit last week's drama, Jon masturbating. On camera. Like his Plus 8 aren't quite damaged enough already.
Jon has changed his story. Last week, he was only scratching himself. (not that anyone believed) This week, he was planning a party for one. Kind of like, last month, Jon despised media attention. (not that anyone cared) This month, he's masturbating on VH1. The only constant coming out of Jon Gosselin's mouth – everything is Kate's fault. Forever butthurt, this one. Farrah, too. Literally.
Last night Real Housewives of the past and present sashayed and twirled down the red carpet at OK! Magazine's pre-grammy party in L.A.
Joanna Krupa stole the spotlight in this sheer and black gown that reminded of us the revealing dress that Paris Hilton wore the night before to Diddy's own pre-grammy party. (see below). Almost all of the ladies of Bravo (and a few VH1 stragglers) wore black, except for Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kenya Moore, who opted for a purple number. Last night was also Kenya's birthday and we'd be willing to bet her evening included a little birthday toast over the news of Apollo Nida's criminal charges.
Have you heard? There's a new show called Farrah's Therapy on VH1. It's a cross between Teen Mom Horror Story and Couples (Table For One) Therapy. The star of the show universe, Farrah Abraham, pretends to cry, makes ugly faces, and blames all of her problems on the strangers living in her house, as well as her parents, while a doctor by the name of Jenn Berman enables her.
Seriously, if VH1 wanted to cash in on the tragedy that is Farrah, why not just create a new show around her? Porn Stars Therapy or Celebrity Liars Rehab?
But I digress. It's day five in the Couples Therapy house. Sada Bettencourt and Whitney Mixter watch Backdoor Teen Mom and come to realize it's not a homemade sex tape. Not even close! It's a fully produced porn film. Whitney says she's not judging the Teen Mom star for having sex on camera, as she's been there, done that - but she has zero patience for Farrah's "sex tape" lies.
In the latest issue of In Touch Weekly, Jon regales us with tales of what a terrible mother Kate Gosselin is and now wants to fight her for custody of their sextuplets. This all comes weeks after Kate dropped a lawsuit against Jon claiming he stole information from her that was later used in a purported tell-all expose that accused her of being obsessed with fame and abusing her eight kids.
"They live in fear of Kate,” Jon claims of the nine-year-old sextuplets. “Every time I see them, they tell me they want to live with me.” In a recent Today Show interview, Jon and Kate's twins Mady and Kara refused to answer questions and displayed some serious animosity towards their mom. “It was horrible to watch,” recounts Jon.
Over the weekend Farrah Abraham hit the beach in Miami to play a little football…by herself..in a swimsuit. Okay, so she wasn't entirely alone – the paps she called were there, too.
Farrah hit the sand in a blue and white cut out one piece swimsuit, striking various classy poses, making sure photographers got a really good shot of her important features. Because bent over is her best angle, apparently.
If you need another Farrah fix, she'll be back tomorrow night on Couples Therapy. You don't want to miss a minute, trust us! Plus we have some more shots of her in our photo roundup tonight – with one creeptastic pic you don't want to pass up.
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