It’s two weeks until Nationals, so y’all know that means that Abby Lee Miller is on the precipice of turning into Ursula from The Little Mermaid. It’s not going to be pretty folks, and I have a feeling only Maddie will be left with her legs! After returning from a stellar competition, last night’s Dance Moms begins as it always does…the pyramid, complete with the moms muttering under their breath, defeated faces on little girls, and, of course, the fear of facing Candy Apple Cathy! Kendall is on the bottom for being last to the game on an upstand. Chloe follows for “being fine. Just…fine.” MacKenzie rounds out the bottom for not beating her mini counterparts. Nia is second for leading her team to victory in the group dance. Of course, Maddie is on the top for her highest scoring routine.
Abby reveals that Gino will be dancing a solo at the upcoming competition, and she wants Maddie to dance a solo. However, Maddie may have to head to Miami to film a web series on the day of the competition. Abby enlists Chloe and Kendall to be her understudies. If Maddie is unavailable, one of them will take her place. Likewise, Maddie is the lead in the group number. If she’s absent, there will be no lead. Why not just plan as if she’s not going to be there? Or hey, I don’t know, make her pick which one she’d rather do. Perhaps she sacrifices a potential web series to because she is already committed to the ALDC? Not that I expect Maddie to make these decisions, but Abby and Melissa could make this easier on the poor child. Christi and Jill seem to agree. The moms (and dancers, for that matter) can’t believe how much Abby puts her dancers down while praising Maddie. At Holly’s suggestion, the moms start a tally of insults for the team versus compliments for Maddie. The results are not shocking, and it’s no wonder the girls look so defeated.
Believe it or not, Teen Mom 2 won Wednesday night, with 1.553 million viewers. Also this week, 1.559 million watched the ALDC prepare for Nationals on Dance Moms and 1.018 million tolerated Josh Altman’s ego on Million Dollar Listing LA. In summary, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and Teen Mom 2 ruled the cable ratings this week, and I don’t know whether to weep for our society or thank all of you for the job security.
I can’t imagine the pressure most dancers feel when preparing for a national competition, but it has to be next to impossible to train when your dance teacher is the wench known as Abby Lee Miller. Dance Moms just keeps getting more and more ridiculous, does it not? On last night’s episode, Christ-y is invited to rejoin the group after Abby’s mini-me assures her boss that Sarah’s turns are improving ten-fold during her private lessons. Abby warns Christ-y to keep her mouth shut or else she and her daughter will be banned for good…again.
Instead of a pyramid, Abby has fashioned a totem pole for her ranking, and Nia is on the very bottom for not having enough facial expressions. MacKenzie is above her for being too quick, followed by Kendall for lacking turn-outs. Tea is above Kendall for being on the winning team, as is Chloe. She’s just one below Maddie who is at the top for garnering the highest score in the competition. This weekend the ALDC is heading to Michigan to compete. MacKenzie, Sarah, and Tea all receive solos. The two lowest scoring little ones will be axed from the Nationals team. Nia has the lead in the group routine which is called tribal council. Abby learns that Ava will be competing with Jeanette’s studio against Tea and MacKenzie. The moms believe that Jeanette wants to get her daughter in front of Abby one more time, but they think it’s unfair given she had her chance last week. Jeanette’s plan is surely going to backfire.
With Nationals right around the corner, Abby Lee Miller is hellbent on creating a winning team with top placing soloists. You know what that means…the revolving door of Dance Moms wannabes keeps shuffling through the studio. After losing last week to Bleu, Abby wants to strike fear in the hearts of her original team–moreso than she does on any regular day, at least. She also takes the opportunity to lecture the moms of the selected new group. Even after doubting Abby’s training, Loree has defected to the elite competition group with the veteran moms, and her former newbie counterparts aren’t happy about her move.
Abby wants to reserve any bickering until after the pyramid. Poor MacKenzie is at the bottom for being pulled from the group number so Abby could place the girls in a higher age bracket and hopefully avoid tough junior competitors (epic fail) her lack of maturity during an improv practice. Chloe follows for her sixth place finish. Nia rounds out the bottom rung because she’s Nia, and Nia rarely ever traipses up to the top half of the pyramid. Jade is third on the pyramid for being third in the solos, and Kendall is second for finally figuring out what it takes to become a favorite. Perhaps it’s because she’s been hanging out so much with top dancer Maddie.
I know y’all have mentioned it before, but what say we pool our resources and donate to Lifetime so Dance Moms can get a new introduction sans the mother and former dancers who are embroiled in a legal battle with Abby Lee Miller. Is that too much to ask? Of course it is, just like it’s too much to ask for Abby to be kind to her students. After victory at a very suspect competition (were there any other dancers there?), Abby is hoping to find a replacement for Maddie in the event Sia wants her star student for every other music video she ever makes.
Not surprisingly, Abby brings in another new dancer to go head-to-head with Chloe. Jade will be dancing with the ALDC this week. Chloe is at the bottom of the pyramid for placing second in the solo division. We all know second is first loser. Nia follows for being the fourth in the top five. MacKenzie is third because her budding pop star status doesn’t give her an excuse to have poor posture. Maddie is second because, woohoo, she was in a Sia video that has allowed her to perform on Ellen and has been interviewed for Seventeen magazine! Kendall is on the top of the pyramid for winning the junior solo division.