I just had a total "Aha!" moment when I watched the, like, totally rad new teaser video for the upcoming season of Dance Moms. No seriously! Abby Lee Miller is back along with the moms that everyone loves to hate…and they're all trapped in Lifetime's version of the iconic 80's music video of A-ha's Take On Me. Leg warmers? Check. Pencil sketches melding with reality? Check. Amazing young dancers? Check. Abby as the studio drill sergeant? Check, check, and check! Speaking of "check," make sure to check out the Dance Mom's new year's day premiere on Lifetime at 9 ET. It will certainly start off your 2014 with a bang!
Yea! It's OVER! How I've missed you, Jeff Collins. Lookatcha! He's got a fresh new hairstyle (not to mention new color) and a sleeker, hipper suit than in Dance Moms reunions past. He's also cracking jokes as he introduces Hurricane Abby Lee Miller. He begins the evening by showing the Christi/Leslie smack down on Burboun Street, and Abby admonishes them for the trash they are. It is no way to represent the Abby Lee Dance Company.
Original Extra CrispyChristi and Leslie come out to share their side of the brawl. Christi has a prepared speech where she takes responsibility for her actions while reminding everyone that Leslie has a history of violence. Leslie talks only about her loyalty to her daughters and Abby and how she wants to make a name for her girls in the entertainment industry. She doesn't understand why Christi is so threatened by her. Oh, she's making a name for her poor girls alright (and so is Christi!).
Is there any end in sight for Dance Moms? It seems that if Abby Lee Miller has her way, she'll be gracing our small screens every Tuesday from here to eternity! Of course, last night was the finale (I'm still not convinced the season is over), and the ALDC traveled to New Orleans. Abby is revealing the final pyramid before Nationals. Paige is on the bottom, followed by Nia, then Paige. All are called out for nit-picky mistakes. Much to Jill's chagrin, Kendall is also on the bottom tier. She reminds Abby that her duet with Maddiewon first. An overly orange Abby asks Kendall to tell her mother to zip it. Seriously, what is up with that spray tan? Abby reminds me off Ross on Friends when he keeps getting sprayed only on his front (I do so love that episode!).
Peyton rounds out the bottom and Leslie squeals with glee. It looks like someone hitched a ride on the ALDC bus to Louisiana! Abby reminds everyone how much Peyton wants to be a part of the team. Chloe is fourth for being a better dancer two years ago than she is now. Asia is third for being awesome in her duet, but Abby calls her a hot mess in the group number. MacKenzie is second, with sister Maddie taking the top spot. Abby praises her duet and tells her she wishes she'd danced it as a solo. Sorry Kendall!
The group routine will be a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. To be "fair," Abby is teaching everyone a solo…although she's pitting each of the girls against one another. Petyon and Brooke will be learning the same choreography. Kendall and Chloe will face off for the next solo, as will Asia and MacKenzie. Paige, Nia, and Maddie will vie for the final spot…because that's a fair match-up! Holly knows that it won't be a level playing field with Maddie in Nia's group.
Maybe Lifetime has no intention of ever ending this season of Dance Moms. Since Abby Lee Miller despises the moms so much, you'd think she'd want to put a cap on the number of episodes I have to watch, er, um, I mean, in which she has to participate!
The ALDC is back in Pennsylvania, and Abby is proud of her dancers' showing in Vegas. MacKenzie finds herself at the bottom of the pyramid for being absent, followed by Paige for forgetting her solo. Abby does, however, compliment her performance in the group number. Brooke is one step above her sister, although Abby doesn't think that her solo showcased Brooke's true talent. Nia rounds out the bottom for excelling in rehearsals but flubbing up in competition. When Nia blames her hat for her dancing woes, Abby tells the story of a man whose hand was severed during a show, but the dancers around him didn't miss a beat. Same thing.
Kendall is last on the second tier, and she admits her nerves got the best of her. Abby advises her to exude confidence regardless so she's the one intimidating others, and she reminds Kendall not to watch the soloists before her. Chloe is in third for flying under the radar, followed by Maddie for shining in the group number. The undefeatable Asia is in the top spot. The girls will be traveling to Regionals in Buffalo, and their group number will be hoedown themed. MacKenzie will have a solo, and Abby makes sure to get in a few digs about how she's still in Asia's shadow.
What happened on last night's Dance Moms should have stayed on last night's Dance Moms…okay, so that didn't really work, but you get the Vegas reference, right? Abby Lee Miller is probably upset that her behavior didn't stay in Vegas, because, dare I say, she actually showed a glimmer of humanity and emotion about her fallout with Kelly.
I can't say I'm excited to see the pyramid back in action after such a nice hiatus. The moms aren't satisfied with Abby's nonexistent reason for her past absences, but Abby doesn't care. She didn't want to be around people who treat her negatively. Kelly and Abby get into it over who did or didn't make a spectacle in Orlando when someone should have (or shouldn't have) moved seats. When Kelly calls her out for acting like Kathy, Abby says that it wasn't Kathy's behavior that always rattled her, it was her reaction to Kathy's behavior that rattled her. Has someone been doing some self-reflection?
Before Abby unveils the girls' ranking in the pyramid, Holly questions how she made her decision given that she's skipped the last two competitions. Duh, score cards! Paige is at the bottom because she's Kelly's daughter, but also because she needs to be a more technical dancer. Brooke follows her sister for her recent fourth place solo. Nia is third from the bottom…not because she doesn't try, but because it's just not clicking for her. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being inconsistent and performing better in rehearsal than competition. MacKenzie is on the tail end of the second tier for careless mistakes, followed by Asia who is improving each week. Maddie takes the second spot because Abby thinks she needs to setting her goals higher. Chloe has finally made it back to the top of the pyramid.
I am so confused as to what Lifetime is trying to pull with this season of Dance Moms. Not only has it lasted almost a decade already, but Abby Lee Miller bounces on and off the show like hyper kid on a trampoline! What is going on here?
Last night's episode began as Melissa busts into Abby's house and she's decked out in a bathrobe and a towel. Abby's mom isn't doing very well, and she may not make it to the pyramid again. Melissa shares that Maddie misses her dance teacher, but Abby is adamant that her needs come first (and I don't blame her with a very sick mother). As Abby shares her hardships, Melissa is in tears…but Melissa is promised that Maddie will be dancing a solo at Nationals.
VH1 continued to dominate Monday night withT.I. and Tiny (3.707 million) and Marrying the Game (2.994 million). Consider us impressed!
On Bravo, part one (of three!) of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion garnered 2.128 million viewers, which is down from last week's season high of 2.386 million. Will you tune in next week to see Gretchen, Heather, Alexis, Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia hash out more of 2009's season 8's drama?
I'm not going to lie, I didn't miss Abby Lee Miller one bit on last night's Dance Moms. Of course, I could have done without Leslie as well. I guess you really can't have it all!
Abby is missing in action, but thankfully her best choreographers are prepared to teach the girls the group number. With Abby not around to delegate solos, the mothers are up at arms about who is most deserving. First up, Jill and 2.0 are cussing and giving each other the hand and dropping f-bombs all over the viewing room. Keep it classy, moms!
In the studio, Abby's employees are working on a newly minted group routine…while hoping they won't get fired. Christi takes the opportunity to call Kelly and tell her that now it the perfect time for Kelly to bring her girls to dance. In her mind, if Brooke and Paige are still on the pyramid, they are still on the team. Leslie is livid that Kelly's involvement could jeopardize Payton's spot on the team. Kelly arrives and instructor Gianna allows Brooke and Paige to join the group. She's too stressed to deal with extra mama drama.