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Dancing With The Stars

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You think Jenelle Evans is having a rough week? Try being the casting director for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars!

First Lindsay Lohan reportedly turned down $550,000 to dance (though, if you ask me, that was a lucky break), and now Lance Armstrong has declined a spot as well. 

Not to mention the number of phone calls from Kate Gosselin and Emily Maynard the casting director is probably avoiding. #wholebodyshudder

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Lindsay Lohan heads back to the Dorchester Hotel after shopping at Harrods in London

When the IRS freezes your bank accounts because you owe them thousands of dollars and the rest of the industry has labeled you as unhireable, you jump at any legitimate offer that comes your way, unless you're Lindsay Lohan.

The troubled starlet was offered one of the biggest Dancing with the Stars salaries – $550,000 – to compete in the upcoming season, but she turned it down, says TMZ!  Lindsay has reportedly said that she refuses to do reality TV, thinking she's too talented to stoop to those levels of desperation just yet.

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Dancing with the Stars All Stars was a bore for fans and a disappointment for ABC. And, after seeing a dip in DWTS' viewer numbers (11-16 million for all stars compared to the previous season's 13-18 million), ABC has decided the show has seen its day we want to see less good dancers and more train wrecks. Oh joy! 

Now, don't get me wrong, I love a good reality TV train wreck. Um, hello, I've made a career out of reality TV stars' famewhoring and idiocy. But there are a few shows I like to watch for the talent and Dancing with the Stars is one of them. I'd rather not see more Kate Gosselins and Bristol Palins, thank you very much. 

However, after analyzing the numbers, President of ABC Entertainment Paul Lee concluded: "Turns out people like to see bad dancing as much as they do good dancing!"

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It's that time of year again. You know what I mean… The time of year when the annual Dancing With The Stars casting speculation resumes in earnest.

We thought we'd help ABC out a bit by dropping some hints about which reality stars we absolutely need (ok want, but semantics, right?) to see strap on a shiny sequined leotard, drop the magical ten pounds, and prance their way into public humiliation while Derek Hough gyrates them into a sequined disco ball statue. 

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Monday night on Dancing with the Stars All Stars, Kelly Monaco, Melissa Rycroft, and Shawn Johnson danced for the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy.

First, General Hospital star Kelly Monaco and the talented and delicious Valentin Chmerkovskiy danced the paso doble (29.5/30) and a recreation of Dirty Dancing's iconic "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" dance for their freestyle (29.5/30). Kelly and Val's combined score for the night was 59/60. 
 
The Bachelor's Melissa Rycroft and deserves-to-win Tony Dovolani (he put up with Kate Gosselin!) chose the samba (30/30). The pair took a risk for their freestyle, dancing a contemporary dance. It's safe to say the risk was worth it, as Len was left nearly speechless. The breathtaking dance earned the pair another perfect score. Melissa and Tony's combined score for the night was 60/60.
 
Finally, Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and the master of choreography Derek Hough revisited their we're-above-the-rules quickstep (27/30) and danced a fantastic but gymnastics heavy freestyle that incorporated the "Fierce Five" (30/30). Shawn and Derek's combined score for the night was 57/60.
 
For the first time in Dancing with the Stars history, three women and their partners go head to head for the trophy… not just any Mirror Ball Trophy… this is the All Stars Trophy! Who wins?
 
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Well, this is a reason to call off a wedding if I've ever heard one! Former Dancing WIth The Stars competitor Hope Solo's finace  Jerramy Stevens was arrested Monday morning after the couple reportedly had a physical altercation. 

Hope, who once accused former DWTS partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy of slapping her during rehearsals, was spotted inside a Seattle court room where her fiance was facing a 4th degree assault charge related to an incident at their Kirkland, WA home. 

KING-TV in Seattle reported that the couple was involved in a domestic dispute around 3:45 am after arguing about where to reside following their wedding, Florida or Washington. When cops arrived Jerramy, a former NFL player, "appeared to be hiding" in a bedroom. He told them he was sleeping, but there was dried blood on his shirt. 

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Brooke Burke-Charvet recently revealed that she will be getting surgery to treat thyroid cancer! The hostess of Dancing With The Stars made the shocking announcement on The ModernMom YouTube Channel today.

"I need to have thyroid surgery and a thyroidectomy, which means I'm going to have a nice big scar right here across my neck," Brooke shared.  

Brooke explains that after a regularly scheduled physical, doctors discovered a worrisome lump in her neck and sent them out for tests and a biopsy. "I got my results back days later and they were atypical, which means that the doctors couldn't confirm whether the nodule was cancerous or benign," the 41-year-old mom of four describes.

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I think we all can agree that Kirstie Alley's middle name these days is TMI.  Promoting her new book The Art of Men (I Prefer Mine al Dente), the Dancing with the Stars contestant has been dropping bombs about her life and loves all over the media.  Someone needs to put a muzzle on her.  STAT!

I'm not sure which recent story is the best.  There's the tidbit about John Travolta being the love of her life, her forbidden feelings for Patrick Swayze, and, of course, her giant cocaine addiction.  Where to begin?  Where to begin?

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